Skyrim-100 Topic Challenge
by Crystal Prime
Summary: A collection of scenes from my Dovahkin's adventures in Skyrim. Come join me, as I explore bits and pieces of her life. All scenes are connected, even if they don't paint the full story as of yet. :)
1. Topic 1: Introduction

**Author's Note:** Wow! It has been over a year since I have posted anything, much less updated one of my stories. I am so, so sorry guys! I promise, I do not intend to leave you hanging on my Transformers stories! It has just been so hard to write on them in the recent years. My muse will work for everything but Transformers, which kinda stinks considering Transformers is what I wrote in to grow as a writer and grow a repertoire here on FF.N. I am so, so sorry to those of you reading this following my Transformers stories. I do plan on writing them to completion.

Aside from muse troubles, I have a few other reasons for not having updates. One is that I had been busy trying to carve out a life in upstate New York. That didn't work very well and now I am back in Ohio. So, yay for failure! *unenthusiastically activates a party favour* So now I'm trying to get back to college. Here's to hoping. *lifts some koolaid for a toast*

Another thing I have been busy with as of late is a Youtube I have started under the name **Kesshami,** to which I am considering changing my username here to as well to show the connection, but haven't decided yet. I am playing a number of games on it, including Skyrim, Mass Effect Trilogy, Mass Effect Andromeda, Minecraft, Some horror game, some nostalgic games. I can't say for sure all of what my channel will bring, but I hope what I do brings joy to people's lives. That being said, I'd appreciate it a lot if you guys could check it out and let me know what you think! :D They don't allow links on here anymore, but if you search "Kesshami" on Youtube, you'll find my channel and my videos. I really appreciate it if you check it out!

Anyways, about this story...I am following a challenge. It's called the 100 Topic Challenge. I found it for art on Deviantart and thought it'd be fun to use for writing instead to get my muse flowing again. My muse has been in a huge Skyrim mood as of late. I actually plan to write a full on story where these scenes take place in. You will not get the full story from these scenes, it is bits and pieces of the story and also will not be in chronological order. Initially I was going to start where I did here and only move forward, but found that was not going to be possible. I considered waiting and posting this only when it was done, so I could post them in chronological order, but decided I needed to post something to show I haven't abandoned my account here on FF.N.

Here's some information about my Dovahkin before we begin:

Name: Crystal Icilius

Age: 25

Race: Breton(Not really, but has similarities)

Gender: Female

Skintone: Pale

Weight: 105 lbs

Height: 5'0"

Complexion: Fare

Scars: Two small scars going from edge of left eye to the bridge of her nose(from where someone tried to rip her eye out in her Pokemon days), a scar on left wrist from where she once dislocated it and had to have it fixed

War Paint: She has markings that go around her eyes and go down her cheeks to end in a point at the base of her throat that people often mistake as war paint. They are purple in color and are actually remnants from her time as a Pokemon, as the one who returned her to human felt she needed something to remind her of her journey through Kalos..so they're tattoos.

Tattoos: Besides the "war paint" tattoos, she also bears a tattoo on her right upper bicep of the Jedi Symbol with the cross in place of the spire in the middle. She got this tattoo in order to remember a very dear friend of hers so that she would always remember not to lose sight of what is important.

Eye Color: Brown

Hair Style: Long, pulled back into a ponytail except for bangs, which are sideswept.

Hair Color: Purple, though it's dark enough to look black in the dark, or a dark brown in some lighting

Pre-Skyrim History:

Crystal grew up in our world, the world completely apart from Skyrim. She faced her own struggles, though she doesn't share them with just anybody as ever since she grew up, she realized how petty her troubles really were, even if more than the struggles of others. Her struggles were in a lack of popularity, feeling alone, working hard with nothing coming of it and a battle against depression that would continue through her adulthood, along with some family problems she would begin to overcome as time went on and others that she tries not to think about. As an adult, she was able to make many close friends. At some point during her time in her homeworld, she lost a very close friend of hers to suicide. She blames herself for her friend's death and as such will go to any length to help anyone contemplating taking their own life.

She also had a youtube(like I do in real life, though in the reality she is from it lacks the Skyrim playthrough and she was successful in it while I have no idea if mine will go anywhere or not. This is kinda me being hopeful and optimistic about it, though I don't honestly expect my youtube to kick off).

Around a year prior to arriving in Skyrim, Crystal was recruited by a reality jumper known as Q to help a shinobi from another reality complete a Nuzlocke journey through the Pokemon region Kalos. She spent the entirety of this journey as a Pokemon herself, an unusually colored Vulpix and later Ninetales. She fought hard through this journey to get her new friend through the journey with as few losses as possible. On this goal, she risked her life many times in order to protect her teammates and shinobi trainer, knowing that if she died any hope she had of seeing her friends and family again would go down the drain. She had been told her death would result in mission failure in hopes to avoid such risk-taking action, but it didn't do much to stop her protective instincts. Mostly through this journey, Crystal and the rest of the team found themselves caught up in a scheme to end the Pokemon world, which they put a stop to before continuing on their way. They lost some along the way, but were eventually triumphant in the end.

Unfortunately, due to some complications during the battle against Team Flare, Crystal was stuck in her Pokemon form and she had to travel to the world of the shinobi to meet with a specific "ally" of the Uchiha, one whom they don't particular care to deal with. In getting her humanity back, she ends up giving up the possibility of returning home and is sent through time and space to an adventure she never would've expected.

Her story in Skyrim is still being written...

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Skyrim or the characters there within. I only own this story, my OC(s) that appear in this story and the plot pertaining to my story.

 **Remember, these scenes are mere bits and pieces of the full story that I will eventually write and post here and are not in chronological order, merely the numerical order of the topics from the challenge.**

 **# 001 - Introduction**

I walked away from Riverwood with a heavy heart. Everything I ever cared about was gone and I was now in a world where someone might kill me just for existing. The Empire had already tried just because I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Ralof said I should join the rebellion, but I was as yet uncertain if I should. I wanted to gather more information first. And could I really commit myself to another world after having lost two already? One could even argue that it was three I had lost, even if I hadn't spent much time in the one.

I was at a lost as to what to do with myself. Did I commit myself to just continuing my path of dedicating my life to the world I was living in? Did I just give up, because if I continue doing what I do I will inevitably get attached and then have it snatched away from me? They say it is better to have love and lost than to not love at all, but I had been there already. More than my fair share.

"AAarrghhh!"

The ungodly sounding scream had me looking up from my musings to see a giant terrorizing a nearby farm. A few were fighting it already, but the fight was going slow enough that quite a few crops were being trampled and fences smashed. I puffed out my cheeks in annoyance. People needed those crops to live and make a living. And this giant was purposely destroying them.

I reached behind me and took my bow off my back, knocking an arrow as I lifted it to aim. I aimed it right for its head, gauged its movements and the distance and then readjusted my aim. Waiting for the perfect moment, I fired my arrow with as much speed as I could put into it. I watched and waited, nocking another arrow just in case.

The arrow hit its mark, right in the giant's skull and piercing the brain underneath. Smirking as the giant fell, I continued on my way to Whiterun, not wanting to garner attention to myself. I put my bow and arrow away and made my way to the path.

"Nice shot," a female voice called my attention.

I looked over to see a...scantily clad woman with war paint going across her face walking toward me. Just behind her was a man in full armor that had fur sleeves and he had war paint around his eyes.

"You should come up to Jorrvaskr," the woman said. "The Companions could use a sharp shooter like you."

"Ah, it was a lucky shot," I replied, rubbing my head sheepishly, cheeks reddening slightly.

She raised her eyebrow at me. "Nevertheless, I hope to see you there." She smiled a slightly cocky kind of smile. "Though Kodlak is the one who makes the decisions of who joins. You should introduce yourself at least, he'll know if you have what it takes."

"Right, I might," I said, still unsure of what I was going to do with my life now.

"You are strong, I can tell," the man in armor said from behind her. "You should join the Companions."

I shifted on my feet a little. "Who are the Companions, anyways?"

"You don't know?" the woman gave me a weird look.

"I-I'm new to Skyrim," I smiled sheepishly. "I'm afraid I don't know a lot about things around here."

"We're people who fight for those who can't," she said. "We help people for coin. Sometimes for free, but most will pay for our services."

"Hm," I hummed thoughtfully.

"By the way, what's your name?" she asked.

"It's rude to ask someone their name before offering your own," I crossed my arms, leaning on one foot with a ghost of a smile on my lips. I could feel the amusement fluttering in my eyes and she must've seen it, cause she just smiled and rolled her eyes. "My name's Crystal."

"Aela," she replied. "I'll let Kodlak know to expect you."

She waved and then walked off in the direction of Whiterun. The man with her shot me a grin before following along behind her.

I stood there for a moment with a smile on my lips despite the turmoil going on inside my heart. Well, that was one way to be introduced into what my be my next adventure. Was this God's way of showing me what to do with my time here?

I shook my head and started toward Whiterun myself. I still had to go see the Jarl about that dragon. I kinda wished that Ralof had come with me so he could do the talking, but he said he needed to get back to the Stormcloaks. It was all on me and I couldn't avoid it. Perhaps my real introduction to my destiny had been back at Helgen.


	2. Topic 2: Love

**A/N:** Thank you guys for checking out this story! Not much to say about life since last post. Except that I discovered today that it doesn't take long to fill up a terabyte of data with videos. I've ordered an external hard drive, but I dunno if it will solve my dillema with wanting to build a backlog of videos so that I have stuff to release on my Youtube while I'm at college. Might not work out the way I want it to. Worse case scenario, I make more vlogs and challenge videos to get me through the school year. I want to do those things anyways, so it's an option. :)

So, anyways, on this scene. It takes places well after the last one, in fact, it takes place after the entire Companion Questline. After being made Harbinger and curing Vilkas and Farkas of their Lycanthropy my Dovahkin starts feeling the pressures of being Harbinger and of making Skyrim her home and loving the people around her. So she fled to Windhelm for a while, to get some time away to try to sort out her emotions and come to terms with her situation. The following scene takes place a month after she left Whiterun, which was longer than she had intended to be away, but her fears kept her away. So far, in chronological order, but there will be some back-stepping in future topics.

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Skyrim or the characters from it, only my Dovahkin and her story.

 **# 002 - Love**

I hammered some nails into the board that would help hold the roof up while we were the process of repairing it. More accurately would be to say while I was in the process of this. The Dark Elves I was doing this for didn't seem inclined to help at all. I was really beginning to wonder why they even settled in Windhelm to begin with if they didn't want to contribute to a Nord society or help fix their neighborhood, even though it would improve their living conditions. Why I even bothered was beyond me, but I couldn't turn a blind eye to a kid complaining about being rained on in the middle of the night because melting snow was dripping from his ceiling. Besides, not all the Dunmer were like this couple were.

"Why are you hanging upside down like that?" the aforementioned kid asked.

"Mhmnerfnin," I mumbled through the nails I held in my teeth. I spat them into my hand and looked down at the Dunmer kid. "Because your parents won't let me use the ladder."

"Why not?" the kid asked.

"Heck if I know," I replied. I shrugged and then panicked somewhat as I dropped the nails. I flailed with my free hand to grab them out of the air, but I missed and they scattered on the kid's floor.

The kid scrambled to pick them up and then he held them for me until I needed them. Once I got the beam locked in place, I looked around to see if I need to put anymore beams up, even if temporarily, in order for the roof not to cave in on me while I was atop it for repairs. I didn't need anymore in this room, or I didn't think I did anyways, and I had already put up temporary beams around the rest of the house.

I dropped the hammer onto the kid's bed and then reached up to grab the beam I was hanging from. I flipped myself over and then dropped to the floor. I waited a moment until I was sure I didn't break either the floor or myself before standing up straight.

"Alright, kid, how about a break before we get to the roofing?" I asked, ruffling the kid's hair.

"Sure! We should go for some food at Candlehearth!" the kid said.

"Are you sure you want to go there, kid? Not many Dunmer go to that part of town," I inquired, just to be sure.

"The adults are idiots," the kid crossed his arms and made a pouting face. "If they want the Nords to help us, they should stop isolating themselves and contribute."

"Heh, smart kid," I ruffled his hair again as I moved past him toward the door. "Alright then, come on."

The trip to the Hall was a silent and quick one. Once you knew your way around the city, it didn't take long to get anywhere. The kid, Sortul, was animated the whole way, talking about how when he grew up he wanted to join the Stormcloaks to fight back against the Empire and the Thalmor. I had to remind him that the war might be over by then, but he was insistent that he would make himself useful to society either way. We got varying looks from people we passed by. Dunmer scowled at me, complaining that I was poisoning their youngs' minds. Nords smiled at his enthusiasm and I even heard a few whispering about my 'good deeds' I had been doing around the city. One scowled at the fact a Dunmer kid was running freely through the city with what he presumed was a Breton, but I just stuck my tongue out at him when he grumbled at me and moved on.

"Oh, would you look who it is!" Susanna said as we entered. "Doing your good deed of the day, Crystal?"

"Eh, I'm just helping out a kid in trouble," I said, watching as Sortul ran off to greet some of the Nords he was familiar with in the back. "You should see this kid's home. He gets wet everytime he goes to sleep and his parents don't even care. Good way to get sick, that. I managed to convince them to let me fix their roof, but they aren't making it easy."

"Well, it's good of you to do this anyways," Susanna said, wiping down the bar as I sat down and waved for the kid to come back so we could order our food. "We need more people like you. Willing to help out the people who need it and look out for the little ones, regardless of their race."

"We're all living here, why not help each other out?" I said as Sortul climbed onto the stool next to me. I ruffled the kid's hair again. "Besides, I can't stand by and let a kid get sick, can I?"

"Hey! Cut it out! We're in public!" Sortul complained, pushing my hand away.

I held my hands up in mock surrender. "Ok, ok," I chuckled.

"So, this might sound like a strange question," Susanna said after we ordered our food and she was placing waters in front of us. She knew very well that I didn't drink, and that if I ever ordered something alcoholic that something was terribly wrong. "But I've noticed you don't really associate with anyone in particular…"

"What'd you mean?" I asked, taking a sip of my water. "I'm part of the Companions, I interact with all kinds of people everyday….I associate with a lot of people." Of course, I was here hiding from the companions, but she didn't need to know that.

"That's not what I mean," Susanna said. "Don't you have anyone you love?"

I paused for a moment and looked into my glass of water, expression falling. "No," I answered sadly. "Not anymore." And just like that, my appetite was gone.

"But you did," Susanna surmised.

I didn't reply, just bit my lip as I stared forlornly into my cup of water.

"What happened to them?" Sortul asked curiously.

"It's complicated," I said. Then I stood. "You know what, I'm not actually hungry. Here's the money for what we ordered. Can you do me a favor and make sure Sortul here gets home safely? I need to go."

"I'll just go with you," Sortul said, getting ready to get up.

"No, kid, I need to be alone for a bit," I said and ruffled his hair again.

"I will make sure he gets there safely," Susanna reassured me.

"Thank you," I gave her a grateful smile. "Sortul, make sure you are careful and if anyone gives you any trouble, just find Susanna, me, Brunwulf over there or a guard, ok?"

"Ok, Crystal," he said, giving me a worried look.

"I'll be ok, kid," I said.

I left the kid in the capable hands of Susanna and the watchful gaze of those in the Hall I knew would watch after him. A month in Windhelm had me learning about all of its denizens as I helped them out. Of course, it meant a month away from Jorrvaskr, which was kinda the point. Ever since Kodlak died and he named me the new Harbinger, it was getting harder and harder to keep the people in the Companions, and even the people of Skyrim in general, at arm's length. Yet, I was still too afraid to let them get any closer.

Why couldn't I just stop being afraid? Why couldn't I just take the chance and let people in again? Be vulnerable again? Love again? I was called to it, so why did I fight it so much? I wanted so badly to let go of my fear that my history would repeat itself the moment I started letting myself truly care. I hated being afraid. I hated feeling alone even though if I just let myself be open to companionship I wouldn't be. I hated being alone, yet I kept myself so. I hated myself for it too.

These thoughts went through my head as I walked through the streets of Windhelm. Distantly I heard a familiar voice and looked up to see Ralof in the distance, cheering with some of his fellow Stormcloaks. It looked like they were just returning from a mission, one that must've gone well for them for them to look so happy. As I watched them revel while on their way to the Palace of the Kings, where they would likely be reporting to their superiors—whether it'd be Ulfric himself or one of his council, I didn't know—I noted how they interacted. It was like watching a family walk through the streets, or a group of really close friends. It made my heart ache, remembering such times I had with my own family and friends. Made me wish I could have that again.

I sighed as I continued on my way. _I could, if I just let myself feel again…_

My wandering brought me just outside the city gates, to the bridge between the city and the road. A few guards were patrolling and a group of Stormcloaks was meandering on one side, chatting amiably amongst themselves, that I noticed Galmar—Ulfric's second-in-command—among. I paid the two groups no mind as I moved to the side of the bridge and looked out over the snowy landscape.

The landscape of Skyrim really was beautiful, even here in the harshest of her climates. I could get used to it easily. I could even consider it home easily if I let myself. I knew that if my friends and family could tell me anything right now it would be to let myself be happy again. To give it all to God and to trust Him. To push on in faith that someday everything would still be worth it in the end.

"Ah, there you are," a familiar voice made me jump a little.

I turned to see Vilkas walking up alongside me. "Geez, Vilkas," I said, pushing my hair out of my face. "Don't sneak up on me like that."

"I apologize, Harbinger," Vilkas said. "You are not usually so easy to scare."

"Yeah, well, I was lost in my thoughts," I told him. "And don't call me that."

"But you are the Harbinger," Vilkas said, looking at me.

"Yeah, well, I didn't ask to be," I said, a little bitterly.

"Is that why you've avoided us for a month? Are you hiding from your responsibilities?" Vilkas asked.

"I…" I started, but then stopped and looked away. "So what if I am? I shouldn't have this, Vilkas. I don't deserve it."

"Kodlak believed you do," Vilkas pointed out.

"I don't…" I snapped a little and then looked down "...not when I'm so afraid that all I can do is go through the motions and keep everyone and everything at arm's length."

"Afraid of what?" Vilkas asked.

I looked up at him, eyes full of emotions I had been hiding up until then. "You know how you felt when Kodlak died, Vilkas?"

"I do," Vilkas said, looking at me with a look a mixture of confusion, curiosity and understanding. How he managed to convey so much in a look I would never understand. Maybe he didn't even realize he did it.

"Take that feeling of loss and multiply it by a billion," I said. "You still won't get close to the feeling I have felt for the last several months I have been in Skyrim. I lost everything, Vilkas. Not once. Not twice. Three times, I lost everything. I lost them when I was forcibly taken from my homeworld. I lost them when I departed the second world. I lost them again when I thought I found a way back only to land myself here with no possible way of returning home. And then, just when I thought I might be able to let myself open up, just when I thought I was making a home with the Companions….boom Kodlak dies and suddenly I'm Harbinger." I spread my hands out to emphasize the word 'boom' and then shifted on my feet as I dropped my hands.

"And suddenly everything is much more real again," I continued. "And I'm forced to face the fact that I either have to consider this home now, let myself love the people here...or leave. And I'm so afraid that either decision is just going to end in me losing everything again." I was vaguely aware of a sense that someone else was listening, but I didn't care at the moment. I had to get this off my chest if I was going to deal with it.

"And that fear paralyzes me Vilkas. Because some idiot reality jumper decided he was going to screw with my life, I'm too afraid to even just be me and let myself do things that I know are right. How can I be the Harbinger when I'm weighed down by these fears? How can I call myself a warrior? A fighter? How could I expect to ever find love and have a family someday if I can't even let this fear go? If I can't be sure that the moment I do that I won't just be taken away again? I'm not as strong as people think I am, Vilkas. On the outside, maybe….but inside? Inside I'm falling apart. I don't deserve to be Harbinger. I don't deserve this life. I should be doing more, but I'm not. War is waging, people are dying, I'm supposed to be Harbinger and all I can do is run from the responsibilities I have and be indecisive about things I _should_ know perfectly well what to do about. I really just….don't deserve the breath I breathe."

"You do deserve it, Crystal," Vilkas said, putting a hand on my shoulder. He reached his other hand up and grabbed my chin, making me look at him. "And if this reality jumper, or anyone else, tries to take you away from this life, he will have one hell of a fight on his hands. We won't let you be taken away. So, please, stop running. The Companions need you….I need you."

"You need me?" I asked, giving him a look. "What'd you mean?"

Vilkas sighed, letting go of my chin, though his hand on my shoulder tightened. "Just what I said," he said and I swore his cheeks grew a little red. He glanced at me and then seemed to look at my neckline for a moment before turning away. "Forgive me, I shouldn't have said that." He dropped his hand and crossed his arms, staring out at the scenery I had been staring at before his arrival.

"Vilkas," I said, more firmly than I intended.

He inclined his head to show he was listening, but didn't look at me.

"Vilkas, I…" I hesitated and then sighed. "Look man, I know feelings are hard. I mean look at the dump of feelings I just unloaded on you." I chuckled nervously a little. "But, you know, I need you too." His head turned toward me so fast I thought his neck might snap. I shifted and leaned against the side of the bridge, letting an armored hand rest on the wall as I gazed out at the snow. "All this time, I've been running from my emotions, running from what I knew I should've been doing all along, running from making this my home….and here you are, telling me things that make all those fears that had me doing that seem so much smaller." I paused a moment, biting my lip. "Not many people can say they can calm my emotions like that, Vilkas. It takes someone special to do so. So if I'm going to be Harbinger….I can't do it without you."

I startled a little when I felt an armored hand on my cheek. I turned to look at Vilkas in surprise only to see the softest expression I had ever seen on the Nord's face. Immediately I blushed as he started gently stroking my cheek with his thumb.

"I will stand by your side through it all, Crystal," he said with such sincerity that would have one believe that nothing could ever possibly stop it from being true.

I stared at him, even as I absently pressed my cheek further into his hand, rather enjoying his touch. I sighed in content, closing my eyes, missing the way his eyes softened even further. Before I realized what was happening, I felt lips on my forehead and my eyes shot open as he pulled away. I blinked at him in surprise.

"I am with you, always," he said.

I just continued to blink at him for a moment, face red. "U-um," I said. I coughed a little, trying to regain my bearings. "Um, ok. So, um."

Vilkas chuckled. "Flustered, my Harbinger?"

"Hush," I complained, though I smiled a little through my blush as I lightly shoved him. "Now, is there anything else? Or was this just a trip to talk sense into me?"

"Well, actually, Jarl Balgruuf wanted you to return to Whiterun as well," Vilkas said, moving on. "He said he has a job that he only trusts you with."

I sighed heavily. "Alright," I said. "But I need to finish a roof first." I pointed back toward the city. "I don't think Sortul's parents would be very happy if I left it half-finished."

"Perhaps I can help with that," Vilkas said, grinning. He headed for the city before I even responded. "Come on, then."

I watched him go, pacing a hand over the spot he had kissed on my forehead. As I watched him, I realized something that I had been missing for months now. I was...attracted to him. His personality, his strength, the safety he represented, the reassurance he gave, his intelligence, his...butt. I had to laugh at myself as I realized that last one. That was definitely something where my sister had rubbed off on me. The fact I even noticed had me in jumbles.

So while, no, I didn't have anyone that I loved, the potential was there. Potential for home, family, friends and maybe even marriage. And with this revelation came a warm feeling that bubbled up inside of me, along with an intense desire to make sure the people of Skyrim were free and safe. I had to do something about the state of things in my new home if I wanted to earn the right to call it that.

"Perhaps...Skyrim can be my home after all…" I muttered to myself.

"Are you coming?!" Vilkas called.

"Oh! Yeah!" I said, grinning as I darted to follow after him.

He ruffled my hair as I joined him and I shot him a mock glare that had him chuckling. We didn't get too far before he was shoving an axe into my hands. A very familiar axe.

"You forgot this, Harbinger," he smirked as I fumbled with it for a moment.

"Always so sure of yourself," I quipped, smirking back at him as I placed Wuuthrad onto my back.


	3. Topic 3: Light

**A/N:** I really don't have much to say this time beyond thank you to those who have reviewed, followed, favorited or simply just took the time to read! :D

 **Arivania:** Glad you like how I started this out! Hopefully all my scenes turn out well!

 **Guest:** D'aww how nice of you to say that! I picture Vilkas as essentially being the grounding force in my Dovahkin's life. He keeps her grounded in reality and keeps her emotions from completely overtaking her when she's struggling with them. I am adoring how their interactions are coming together as I write these and it makes me happy someone else may enjoy it too. :3 3

 **Spiritual-Sister:** I need to take some time to formulate a proper response to your review that is of neither extreme. I believe in Jesus already, which you would know if you actually cared to get to know the person you are trying to reach. While I understand what you are doing, you are going about it the wrong way. You can't start off a relationship of any kind with someone by dropping such a bomb on people you don't even take the time to learn anything about. Those who follow me on here, or are curious about me, can easily find out about my beliefs through a cursory glance around my work or my profile. The fact you clearly did something that is copy-paste gives off the message that you do not care at all, which I doubt is the message you are trying to spread. Also, the Bible says specifically that no one knows the time for the end of the world. As long as there are people who think they know when it is, it will not happen. Just spreading around this message of fear that it's the end of the world will not bring people to Jesus. Rather loving them and showing them who He is will. So while I understand why you are doing this, I do not agree with your methods. In the end, it's not a salvation issue, but in the end, I'd rather say I loved as many people as I could than say that I warned as many people as I could. Hope, faith and love...The greatest of these is love, not warning. That is all that comes to mind to say.

 **Anyways...** about this scene. It takes place partially into the main questline. My Dovahkin has not officially taken a side on the war yet at this point, but she has traveled far and wide seeking information about it from both sides. She is doing her best to make the most informed decision about the war, considering it is a pretty big decision and that she might alienate friends she has either way. She and Vilkas are on their way to High Hrothgrar with Ulfric and Galmar. She had gone to talk to Ulfric last and she thought it would just make sense to travel together since they are going to the same place and the meeting can't start until both groups are there anyways. They are camping out in the middle of the journey since night fell and she is rather tired after a lot of running around and little sleep and they can all see it, though they wouldn't tell her they were stopping for her well-being as Vilkas knows that would only get her riled up, a fact he informed the two of before they even stopped. As they sit, she contemplates torchbugs around her and remembers simpler times...

 **# 003 - Light**

Light. It was a word with so many meanings. It was the light of day brought on by the sun. It was emanated by the candle late at night to allow for reading and not tripping on the way to the restroom. It was used often to refer to the good and righteous side of things. Some used the word simply to refer to their own way of thinking, be it right or wrong. It was the ball of magic that lit up a room whenever I woke in the middle of night, terrified of whatever monsters had plagued my dreams that night.

It was all those things and more. Perhaps the most simplest of those things was the glow of the firefly, apparently known as Torchbugs here.

"You seem awfully fascinated by that Torchbug," Vilkas piped up from where he sat on the log we had placed near the fire.

Ulfric and Galmar were watching me in curiosity, traveling with us as we all made our way to High Hrothgar to attempt to negotiate a truce in the war so I could handle the dragon threat. Because I apparently was the only one who could do anything about it.

"Don't tease me, Vilkas," I said. "Chasing fireflies is about all I have left of my childhood. It's the only thing I have to feel any bit of nostalgia."

"Fireflies?" Galmar asked roughly, raising an eyebrow.

"It's what we called them," I replied as the Torchbug spread its wings and took to flight, lighting up once more. "Albeit, they looked slightly different where I come from. On summer nights my brother and I would compete and see who could catch the most. Of course, he always won. He always had a better eye than me." I pushed my glasses up on my nose. They were taped on one side, since I was still awaiting a new pair some of Ulfric's men were actually trying to create for me. They had examined the pair I had for several days to figure out just how they were made.

"Why do you wear those things, anyways?" Vilkas asked, looking at me weirdly.

"I have what's called astigmatism," I answered, shifting on me seat as I rotated the fish I was roasting over the fire. "It means my eye shape is off and it messes with my perception of width and height. I'm usually fine unless I'm reading, but it leaves me unable to notice some small details that could end up being the death of me. Nothing can be done to fix it, really. Not much you can do about the shape of your eyeball. I inherited it from my mom, who got it from her mom. My brother somehow got all the good genes. Normal height, excellent metabolism, perfect eyesight. I don't have horrible metabolism, but I'm short and I require corrective lenses." I sighed, shaking my head. "I swear he got all the luck too. It always felt like he just breezed through life, yet I worked my ass off and still didn't seem to get anywhere. Just when I was….well, it didn't matter in the end anyway. And now here I am, fighting all over again, just hoping that this doesn't end the same way everything else did. That for once all my hard work, the amount of fighting I've done and will do….will matter."

"It will matter to the people of Skyrim," Ulfric spoke up. "By slaying this dragon, you will save us all."

"Yeah, well, first we gotta get you and the Imperials into a truce," I said, sighing.

"As Dragonborn, your word will carry a lot of weight in this meeting," Vilkas said.

"Yes, because I totally earned that," I said sarcastically. "I might've complained a lot about not getting any recognition or having people listen to me back home, but I would've liked to earn such respect."

"You killed a dragon," Vilkas said.

"Two, actually," I admitted. "When I first went to Windhelm, one swooped down to try to eat me. I just didn't get close enough to it afterward for me to absorb its energy, I guess."

"I heard about that," Galmar commented. "The guards say you took it down single handedly. And then promptly fled the scene."

"Dead dragon," I said. "I have an irrational fear of dead things."

"Yet Farkas says you showed no fear when you went to Dustman's Carn," Vilkas said. "Nor did you whenever we've gone to Ysgramor's tomb."

"I can set my fear aside when I need to," I said. "But I had nightmares of zombies for weeks after the first and the later was a bit...different. As I said, it's irrational and all I need to do is to tell myself that and I can push through. Doesn't always work as effectively as I wish."

"Either way, back to the subject of you earning respect," Vilkas said. "You've killed two dragons. You're Harbinger of the Companions. You've killed giants and trolls and Talos knows what else in your endeavors to protect people you don't even know. You cured Kodlak, my brother and I of our Lycanthropy without even questioning us on why we wanted to do so or wanted your help. I'd say, you've earned all the respect one could give you."

"Not to mention, my guards tell me you have been helping the people of my city as much as any human could handle," Ulfric spoke up. "And for that you have my thanks, and respect."

"You've earned your voice," Vilkas said. "What you do with it, is up to you."

I sighed heavily and ran both my hands through my hair. "And what to do with it is the real question," I hung my head, strands of my hair staying trapped between my fingers. "I guess all I can do is try to make sure everything remains fair. And make the best decisions I am capable of."

"Just hang onto your light," Vilkas said and suddenly he held a Torchbug in front of my face. "And you will know the right thing to do."

I blinked at the Torchbug for a moment and then looked at Vilkas.

"I am with you, whatever decision you come to about this meeting, the war, the dragons," Vilkas assured me.

"Even if you disagree?" I asked, carefully guiding the Torchbug off his finger and onto mine.

"I trust your judgement," Vilkas said.

I stared at Vilkas for a moment before turning my attention to the Torchbug. It sat on my finger or a moment before taking flight. "You have no idea how much that means to me," I said quietly as I watched the Torchbug until its light faded into the night.

"May I ask, what your stance on the war is?" Ulfric asked.

I sighed heavily. "That is something that's been weighing heavily on my mind," I replied. "I do not have an answer for you right at this moment. I am close to one, very close, but there is a lot I have had to discover. I am in a weird place. I understand the reasonings I have heard from both sides. Now I have to take those reasonings, weigh them, add my own observations on the matter, the observations of those who are neutral, what reasonings have facts that contradict them, etc. As I said, I'm close, but not quite there. I have to be sure whatever decision I make, I don't look back on years from now and regret. I've got enough regrets. I've jumped into frays based purely on emotion enough times to know that I end up regretting them in some way. Not necessarily the decision itself, but how things turned out because of that decision. My decision must be mine and mine alone. I can't let anyone pressure me or influence me, or whatever side I am on will end up regretting having me. If I make a decision out of pressure, my heart won't be in it. And if my heart is not in it...well…" I trailed off and shrugged.

"I understand," Ulfric nodded to me.

"I appreciate that you do," I said, leaning back a little. "I truly do not wish to end up half-assing whatever I do for this world. I'm an all-in kind of person. If I cannot go all-in, I might as well not go at all as far as I am concerned."

Galmar laughed a little. "I think you fit right in with the rest of Skyrim," he grinned.

I grinned back, feeling a little lighter than I had been on this trip thus far. "Well, at least I fit in somewhere," I said and then stretched as I yawned. "After I eat this fish I am sleeping."

"I'll keep guard, first watch," Vilkas volunteered as I bit into my fish.

"Mounds mood," I mumbled through my food.

Vilkas chuckled at me with my chipmunk cheeks.

I swallowed. "I will take second," I said. "I likely will not sleep long enough to take third or fourth anyways."

"Still not sleeping well?" Vilkas asked.

"How can I? There's too much thinking to do," I said. "Besides, half the time I end up getting woken by wolves anyways. Or thieves trying to, you know, steal my stuff. I'm a light sleeper while traveling, too paranoid."

"Damn thieves," Ulfric muttered at my mentioned of thieves.

"No wonder you always crash when you return to Jorrvaskr," Vilkas teased me.

I stuck my tongue out at him before standing to go to the tent. "Wake me when it's my watch," I said, waving.

"Need me to leave the light on for you?" Vilkas teased.

"Hardy har har," I rolled my eyes with a smile, shaking my head. "It's fine. I can sleep without a dang light."

The three men chuckled at me. I shook my head at them and then patted Vilkas on the shoulder. For a moment he placed his hand on mine and we made eye contact. We held long enough to convey our current emotions and then I went and laid down in my sleeping bag, pulling the furs as tightly around me as I could. I still shivered a little, being away from the fire now, until someone put another layer of furs on me. I peered up to see Vilkas walking away and wondered how he even knew I was going to be cold. I figured it didn't matter and closed my eyes as I cuddled into the furs.

I slept better than I had for quite some time that night. The sounds of discussion and laughter lulled me into a deep sleep I hadn't had for ages. Perhaps it was the feeling of safety having the three with me provided. Perhaps it was just good to have my decision making process aired out. Perhaps it just calmed my nerves to know how I had earned the respect I was to be given at the meeting.

Or perhaps, it was just the light from the fireflies that gave me peace. It was such a nostalgic light.


	4. Topic 4: Dark

**A/N:** Not much to say. I'm working hard on my youtube stuff, learning better ways of doing things for it everyday, though still need a lot of work on my commentary. There is one game I dunno if I will be able to finish, because I am growing to really dislike and it's getting less and less fun to play. But we shall see about it.

Thank you to all who have reviewed, followed and favorited! I really appreciate it. It makes me happy that people are enjoying this so far! :D

 **Nina:** Thank you! I'm so glad you like it so far!

 **mia78:** Thank you. I appreciate the feedback and I'm glad you like what I'm doing with these scenes. :D Vilkas is my favorite too. 3 I have enjoyed writing my dovahkin's interactions with him the most and exploring the various points in their relationship. Not every chapter has bits from it, but it's definitely my favorite bit to write. :)

 **About** this scene. The first part, the dream, takes place after Aela and Skjor bring up wanting the Dovahkin to become a werewolf but before Skjor's death. Because my Dovahkin refused the transformation, this bit of the questline goes a bit differently, though the end result is ultimately the same.

The second part is following the meeting at High Hrothgrar, while my Dovahkin is planning her next moves. She returned to Windhelm with Ulfric and Galmar, sending Vilkas to take care of the Companions in the meantime, because she had to finish up a few things she had previously been helping some residents with. The night before she left to head to Whiterun to meet with Balgruuf, she fell asleep while staring the map to memorize the shortest path she could take to get to Whiterun.

 **# 004 - Dark**

" _Why did I decide to do this on my own again?" I sighed to myself as I crouched behind a rock._

 _It was dark, I didn't like that. I didn't like the dark at all. Usually, I would use my meager magic skills to provide myself a ball of light to follow me around in caves. That wasn't an option here, however. I needed to be sure that I remained out of sight. I had been warned about Falmer when Vilkas sent me on this mission. I was starting to worry about being in the Companions. Ever since I went to Dustman's Cairn with Farkas I had been treated as if my word had sway, as if it mattered. It felt as if I was moving up in the ranks and I honestly didn't know how I felt about that._

 _I shook my head, this was no time to think about such things. Whether I was comfortable with how my life was going didn't matter. I would keep going and keep doing missions because that was who I am. I keep going even when I feel like curling up in a hole and dying. I keep helping people, even if I feared that in doing so I would get attached and then lose them. I keep pressing onward even when it felt the whole world was against me._

 _I stepped out from behind the rock slowly, inching my head forward as I looked either way. It was hard to see in this dark, it was near total. It didn't help that I required glasses to see properly in normal lighting. The darkness made everything blur together and I swore I saw movement I didn't hear, things I didn't smell. I almost, just almost, wished I had taken up Aela and Skjor's desire for me to become a werewolf, then my senses would be improved. But I had my reasons for denying and I'd stick to them._

 _I moved forward cautiously and slowly. For all my alertness and caution, however, I was unprepared for the being that leapt out at me from the darkness. I started wrestling with it, feeling wounds be inflicted on my unarmored biceps. I barely had the brainpower to wish I had found better armor as I focused on getting the creature off of me. As soon as I did, I whipped up a ball of light to see my surroundings….to be met with no less than fifteen of those creatures around me. The Falmor._

 _All at once, they leapt forward to attack with an assortment of weapons, magic and fists._

" _Crystal!" a voice called as I writhed and fought against my foes._

Suddenly, I jolted awake, being yanked back by a strong and firm hand. I sucked in a sudden breath and panted slightly as my eyes darted around to gather my bearings. I noticed the map in front of me, where my head had just been laying. Right, I was in the war room at the Palace of the Kings. I turned my head to see Ulfric standing behind me, hand still on my shoulder.

"Ulfric," I said, blinking in sudden realization. I rubbed at my eyes, trying to steady my breath and slow my beating heart. "I'm sorry, I must've fallen asleep going over my plans to deal with the dragons…"

"No need to apologize," he said. "I am no stranger to falling asleep while making battle plans." He looked at me, but I couldn't find it in me to look back at him.

I bit my lip. "I….thanks for waking me…" I said, clenching and unclenching my fists. "I thought I was….done with nightmares for a while….guess I was wrong…"

"Do you wish to talk about it?" Ulfric asked.

I looked up at him and considered. I turned back to the map after a moment, biting my lip. "I do not often talk about my nightmares," I told him. "I…." I hesitated a moment. "I always dealt with them on my own, even as a kid. I'll be fine." I stood and stretched my muscles out as he dropped his hand. "I'll feel a lot better once I deal with Alduin...as long as I don't end up uprooted again." I sighed a little bit.

"Yes, your companion told us about your reality jumper," Ulfric said, moving to stand next to me as I stared at the map. "If you truly wish to stay here and fight for Skyrim, we will make sure you do so."

I shook my head. "No, Ulfric," I said, voice sounding tired and defeated even to me. "Not even you could do anything about Q. Vilkas says the same and with at least he, you and I then I would usually bank on success, but…." I sighed heavily, leaning heavily on my hands, head dropping. "...my problem with him is not one that can be solved by a fight. And words are flimsy at best."

"Doesn't mean we can't try," Ulfric reassured, placing a hand on my shoulder again.

I shot him a grateful smile. "I appreciate the sentiment," I said.

"Well, we owe you," he said, looking at the map in front of us. "That negotiation would've gone much worse without you there."

I hummed a bit in thought. "Yeah, it probably would've," I admitted. "Though a better diplomat would've gotten a better result. I am not used to mincing words and not just outright saying what I thought. You have no idea how much I was biting my tongue. Especially to that damn Elenwen. I swear, I have never experienced true hatred for a person before, but man does she push me. If I weren't such a stubborn idiot, I probably would've said some very…" I coughed a bit here. "...probably inappropriate for a negotiation table things."

"I did noticed you were quite riled after she pulled you aside," Ulfric said, glancing at me. "What did she say?"

"Apparently, after my last encounter with them, the Thalmor decided to add to the White-Gold Concordant," I replied, leaning back on my foot.

"What do they demand now? What freedoms do they take from us now?" Galmar's voice broke into the conversation and I looked up as he joined us on Ulfric's other side.

"Well, it's more targeted at me in particular," I said, crossing my arms. "Essentially she told me I was to deny my God or become a target of theirs after this dragon business is handled."

"And what did you say?" Galmar asked.

"That I'd sooner die than deny Jesus and she might as well start putting up the wanted posters now," I said. "Also that she concreted the decision that I was on the verge of making anyways. I couldn't call myself an American if I sat back while people's freedoms were trampled. And now I have all the more reason to join your cause. So yeah, decision made, now I got dragons to slay...oh god that rhymed." I facepalmed and sighed at myself.

Galmar chuckled at my words, shaking his head.

"It is good to have you aboard, Dragonborn," Ulfric said, a smile on his face.

I held up a hand. "Please, don't call me that," I said. "Just Crystal is fine. I hate titles. And if I can get any semblance of normalcy in these dark times, I'm gonna take it."

"Of course," Ulfric nodded. "I understand."

"Now, I need to go slay me a dragon, but after that I will be back," I said, pointing vaguely toward the exit of the palace.

"When this all over, I have a mission with your name on it, kid," Galmar said, grinning.

"Don't give it away while I'm gone," I grinned back at him.

When I stepped outside of the palace, I realized it was still dark out. I stopped and turned back in. When I did, Galmar and Ulfric looked at me.

"It's dark out there," I said. "I'll leave in the morning. I really, really don't like the dark when I'm traveling alone."

Galmar just shook his head, muttering about silly fears, while Ulfric gave me an understanding look. I somehow got the feeling he understood why someone might be afraid of the dark.


	5. Topic 5: Seeking Solace

**A/N:** So, I am debating whether to continue my Mass Effect Multiplayer series on my youtube. The first video, from before Andromeda came out and when my Mass Effect 3 was working. But ever since I began using Andromeda's multiplayer, it's barely garnered any views, not even reaching the number of subscribers I have, which is as yet really small since I just started posting stuff a few weeks ago. Now my most watched series seems to be my Skyrim series, which is awesome, but makes me wonder if I should continue my ME:A multiplayer series at all or if I should find a nostalgic game to play for my second Saturday videos and dub Saturday to be nostalgic game day. Any one have any thoughts?

 **Manu:** I'm glad you think so! I'm glad you are enjoying this story and the dialogue I write for it and I'm glad to hear approval of my choice for her mate, even though they aren't officially in a relationship yet at this point. They pretty much act like they are, but my Dovahkin is afraid of doing or saying anything to make it official for reasons and Vilkas doesn't wish to make her feel pressured on top of all of her other worries, and because of the typical tradition in Skyrim of a Mara amulet, he doesn't know if she is even interested in a relationship since she doesn't wear one, it's kinda why he glanced at her neckline back when he fetched her from Windhelm. But eventually they'll stop dancing around the subject and talk about it. :) They actually, kinda do in this chapter, covering a bit of why they haven't made it official despite both caring greatly about the other and wanting to further the relationship.

 **About** this chapter...my Dovahkin has returned to Whiterun to meet with Balgruuf and put into action their plan to deal with Alduin. However, it is late at night and Balgruuf doesn't expect her until the next day. As she arrives, the burdens she carries in her adventure in Skyrim weigh heavy on her shoulders and she just wants things to be normal for a little while. She goes to Jorrvaskr and ends up talking with Vilkas, who finally somewhat broaches the subject of whether she is interested in getting married someday. She explains why she is not ready to make a commitment to someone just yet, even though she does want to...

 **# 005 - Seeking Solace**

" _You should join the Stormcloaks in Windhelm. We could use someone as skillful as you."_

" _You are the new Harbinger. Lead the Companions into a new era."_

" _I feel you were meant for great things, my friend."_

" _I have a request of a personal nature, I understand if you don't wish to help."_

" _I need you to retrieve the tablet."_

" _A dragon's attacking one of the towers!"_

" _By the nine! You're Dragonborn!"_

" _You must go to High Hrothgar. The Grey Beards summon you."_

" _It is up to you to broker peace between the factions long enough to handle the dragon threat."_

" _Either you denounce this Jesus of yours, or you shall face the same consequences as those who worship Talos."_

" _After this is over, I will be honored to serve alongside you under Ulfric."_

" _I am with you, whatever decision you come to about this meeting, the war, the dragons."_

" _By slaying this dragon, you will save us all."_

I sighed as the many things spoken to me in recent times ran through my head. The words spoken that reminded me of the heavy weights I bore, the responsibilities that I did not ask for. They weighed heavily on my shoulders and I constantly worried if I could do any of them right. I wished I could escape this life, escape to someplace where I wasn't expected to do anything. But not escape this world. No. Skyrim had become my home and I cared about the people here. It's why I shouldered the responsibilities I never asked for. Why I kept on pushing when I felt like I was spent.

But for just one day, one night even, I just wanted to feel normal again. I wanted to remember what it was like to just hide away for a few hours to chill and hang out with those I cared about most. I just wanted to forget about the war for a day, forget about the dragons, the unsolved murders, the problems of every person I seemed to pass by. Just for a little while and then I'd return to my adventures.

I took a deep breath and released a long sigh as I stepped inside Whiterun's gates. I looked around the area, seeing Adrianne getting ready to leave her shop. It was getting late. I had run myself hard to get here before a second night fell since I left Windhelm. I had been in such a hurry, I hadn't even stopped to eat and my stomach was now reminding me of that fact. I could go to the Inn, but I didn't see a reason when I had a home and Lydia probably had food there for me to eat. Even if the house was basically hers, I did own it and she had said I was always welcome.

At first, I considered going there, but my feet found me heading toward Jorrvaskr. I watched the life around me as I made my way there. Everyone seemed to be generally happy today. It seemed as if the people were ignoring or unaware of the threats that riddled Skyrim. I doubted it was the later, so the fact that people continued to enjoy life despite the hardships impressed me.

I stepped into the halls of Jorrvaskr just as the sun was finished leaving the sky. The dining hall was empty. It seemed everyone was either off on missions or retired to the quarters for the night. I found it odd, since usually there was always someone still up here until well into the night. It actually made me a little worried, though that was alleviated a little bit as I spotted Vilkas walking in from outside. He noticed me and immediately a smile was on his face as he crossed the room. I moved to meet him halfway.

"It's good to see you back, Crystal," Vilkas said, opening his arms.

I smiled at him and wrapped my arms around his waist. I sighed in content as he wrapped his strong arms around me. "How are my precious Companions doing?" I asked when I pulled back to stand at a respectable distance.

"Things are going well," Vilkas said. "Aela and Farkas did well to run the Companions while we were off on your goal to procure peace."

I sighed a little. "Temporary peace anyways," I shook my head. "It's unlikely this peace will last beyond my defeating Alduin. I foresee the war picking up speed after this is over."

"And what of your decision?" Vilkas asked.

"I know Kodlak felt the war wasn't our business," I said, turning away a bit. "But I find myself unable to sit by and watch it happen. People are dying. Their freedoms are being squashed slowly. I have a feeling the whole Talos thing is only the beginning."

"Hm, I have spoken to some who believe the Thalmor are aiming to add more to the White-Gold Concordat." Vilkas said, his expression looking at me in concern.

I nodded. "They have already and God only knows what else they plan to add," I replied, deciding not to tell him exactly what they had added. "I have heard rumors of them snatching people from their homes. People who have done nothing wrong. The Empire is not much better."

"You side with the Stormcloaks, then," Vilkas surmised.

I nodded and braced for whatever reprimand might be coming my way. I looked down, waiting for the lecture about keeping our neutrality. After a moment, I heard a sigh and felt his hands on my arms.

"You do not need to look so afraid," Vilkas said. "I agree with you on this matter. I told you, I respect your judgement. I am with you no matter what happens from here." He lifted a hand and brushed my cheek softly.

I looked up at him, eyes filled with fear. "I am afraid, Vilkas," I confided. "I am so afraid that after I defeat Alduin, I will lose everything again. Either to this war or because Q decides to snatch me for some other adventure again. Or that even if I do get involved in the war nothing will change. It'll just keep going and going and won't stop until everyone I care about is gone. I'm afraid to face Alduin, not because I am afraid of him, but I am afraid the worst will happen afterwards. And I feel so pathetic for feeling these fears."

"Oh, Crystal," Vilkas said, voice full of emotion as he pulled me close to him, wrapping me in his arms. "You don't need to fear. I believe you will defeat Alduin and then end this war. And the Companions will be by your side."

"No," I shook my head, though didn't move from his arms. "The Companions must stay out of this. I say this as Harbinger and as a friend to everyone here. I need you guys to survive, to keep up the Companions for me in the event something happens to me. I will not be fighting the war as a Companion, merely as a person concerned over the fate of Skyrim."

Vilkas sighed, placing his hand on the back of my head and starting to stroke my hair. "I understand," he said.

"I need someone to survive," I said silently. "I need…." I sighed heavily. "I need to stop talking about this right now. I just want...for once I just want everything to be normal again...to just be able to relax without fretting over the world…."

"I know," Vilkas said, continuing to stroke my hair. "And you are always welcome to talk to me. I am here for you, whatever you need."

I wrapped my arms around him and buried my face in his chest. He wasn't wearing his armor, for which I was thankful as his steel armor would be hard to stuff my face into. Instead he wore a simple outfit with some furs to keep him warm during this cold season. "I don't deserve to have you in my life," I said quietly. "You are too good to me."

"Of course you deserve me," Vilkas said. "It is I who doesn't deserve you."

I chuckled a little. "Then we are at an impasse," I said. "For we found something we disagree on." I lifted my head and rested my chin on his chest, smiling up at him. "You are smart, Vilkas. And kind and brave and protective….ironically everything I ever wanted to find in a guy I could one day marry. Yet, I do not deserve that. I've done too much, seen too much. Failed too many…"

He brushed a hand across my cheek and I leaned into his touched, closing my eyes in contentment. "Do you not think I can say the same?" he asked. "Those things you use to describe me, also describe you, yet they do you no justice. Those words you say of yourself apply to me as well."

I felt my eyes shutter as they filled with tears. "You are a much better man than I am."

"I would hope so," Vilkas said and I could mentally see his grin. "It'd be sad if I was out manned by a woman!"

I couldn't help it, I laughed at that. I opened my eyes as he tightened his hold on me. "You know what I mean, you incorrigible Nord."

Vilkas smiled down at me. "Oh, I disagree," he said.

"So I see," I smiled back at him, leaning into his hand as he stroked my cheek with his thumb.

We stood there in silence for a moment longer and I basked in the solace I felt in his embrace. I had to admit, I wished we could be more than friends. I didn't know how he felt about that idea, however, and I would never have the courage to ask him myself. I was too afraid of losing what we already had if he decided not to keep up our friendship in the event he didn't feel the same.

"Now what's that look about?" Vilkas asked.

I blushed a little and my eyes moved away from him. "N-nothing," I stuttered a little.

"Mhm," he didn't sound convinced at all. He was silent for a moment before speaking. "Crystal, may I ask you something personal?"

I pulled back a little and looked around. I heard the door creak open, so I grabbed his hand and pulled him toward the quarters below. He allowed me to lead him to my private room, the room that used to belong to Kodlak before he died. We didn't encounter anyone on the way, so I assumed everyone was asleep or out. Once there, I shut the door, locking it to avoid being interrupted. Then I turned to him, only to find him extremely close.

"Eep!" I squeaked a little in surprise and pressed myself against the door, a little intimidated by his unexpected closeness.

He must've noticed my discomfort, for he backed up several steps and allowed me to move past him to sit on my bed. He sat on the chair facing it and leaned an elbow on the small table.

"So," I said, gathering myself again. "What is it you'd like to ask?"

"Have you put any thought into whether you'd like to settle down someday?" Vilkas asked.

"You mean, like, stop adventuring and helping people?" I asked. "Or do you mean getting married?"

"Hm, both I suppose," Vilkas said thoughtfully. "Though I have a hard time picturing you as anything but an adventurer."

I chuckled a little. "I will probably never really slow down, at least not until I have kids," I said, grinning at him.

"Oh, so you plan to have kids," Vilkas grinned at me.

I blushed a little. "Well, I mean, someday," I said, suddenly feeling awkward. "You know, if I am able to stay in a place long enough to be married. I've always wanted to be married someday and have kids, but I never….all the relationships I've been in before…" I trailed off and look away, feeling myself shake with emotions.

I felt the bed shift as Vilkas suddenly sat next to me. He placed a hand on one of mine that was clenched on my leg. His hold was soft, yet firm, which was comforting. Without thinking, I leaned against him, closing my eyes.

"You do not need to tell me anymore if you don't wish," he said.

"Not right now," I said quietly. "Honestly, I just want to relax. To enjoy this last night before I meet with Jarl Balgruuf to implement our plan to deal with the dragons. Besides, marriage doesn't feel like an option for me right now….it won't until I know I won't just be uprooted from my home again. It doesn't feel right to even date or court someone when at any moment I could be ripped away. I know it's a possibility...it wouldn't be fair to put my partner through that if it does. I mean, I know even without that I could also die at any moment, but….it's worse when you know they are alive and you can't be with them ever again….I know….I've been there..."

"Always thinking of others," Vilkas said softly, rubbing the back of my hand. "Very well. We shall talk of something else. You could tell me about your childhood."

"Only if you tell me of yours," I said with a small smile.

He put an arm around my shoulders and squeezed me closer just a little. "As you wish, Harbinger," he said.

I couldn't help but giggle a little at the way he said that. I felt him chuckle as the sound escaped from him.

We sent the next few hours just talking about happier times in our lives. Silly things that had happened, pranks that had been pulled, troubles we had gotten ourselves in. Everything was up for grabs to be a topic. By the time I was drifting to sleep, I had told him more about me than I ever had told anyone in one sitting. As I drifted off, I couldn't help but think that he was a good person to find solace with, to escape the worries of the day, even if he shared similar worries. Perhaps our mutual problems were part of why we could understand each other so much.

"Vilkas," I said sleepily.

"Yes, Crystal?" he asked quietly.

"If I die….or disappear from this world...promise me you will take care of the Companions," I requested.

"Now don't talk like that," Vilkas said. "Neither is going to happen. You won't let it and I won't let it."

"Just promise me, ok?" I felt like I was begging. Perhaps I was. "I need to know that no matter what happens, you guys will be ok."

I felt him kiss the top of my head. "I promise, my Harbinger," he said.

"Thank you," I said and then allowed myself to sleep into slumber. As I drifted into sleep, I found myself thinking that Vilkas would make a good husband someday and the way he acted with me lended me to wonder if he had feelings for me. Of course, I would likely never ask him about it myself. I was much too awkward about it. Besides, it wouldn't be the first time I had unreciprocated feelings if I was reading him wrong.


	6. Topic 6: Break Away

**A/N:** So, I am having a hard time right now. Emotionally, I am in a dark place. The only times I feel happy in recent days have been when recording for youtube, I genuinely and completely enjoy recording videos just as much as I enjoy writing, which is another one of the times I feel happy and the other time is when I am able to play games with my friends. Even watching videos by Mark and Jack isn't helping as much and I'm not sure if that is because of the specific videos or because my emotions are just that out of whack. I have really been enjoying their videos, but my emotions don't pick up in the same way they used to these last couple of days. I'm not sure what has triggered this, I have an idea, but it is not something I am certain of. I feel down and depressed when out with my family, I am not quite as content out walking the dog as I usually am. I just feel like I am going nowhere and will never go anywhere no matter what I do. The only time that feeling goes away is when I'm recording, writing or playing games with my friends. It feels like my existence is empty apart from that and it's hard to convince myself that all of this isn't completely pointless sometimes. And I hate that. As I said, I don't know for sure what triggered this and I know I shouldn't be feeling this way. I'm just not sure what to do about this right now...and I'm trying to figure that out. It's like my body has unconsciously made the work I do be my entire purpose and that is not how it should be. I dunno how to change that, though, when I am not consciously putting my worth on what I do...

 **Nina:** Thanks! I'm glad you like it! :D

 **Guest1:** Aw, that's nice of you to say. :3 Don't worry! Such a trip is due to their story at some point down the road. :3

 **Guest2:** Glad you think so!

 **Manu:** There are many things Crystal takes into consideration with each and every move she takes. She is kinda overly cautious when it comes to a lot of things. Especially if they will affect her emotions or someone else. She is so concerned with both making the best decisions for everyone, but also trying to keep her own emotions in check that sometimes her habit of considering everything ends up leaving her at a standstill in somethings. But, yes, it is nice to know Vilkas is there waiting for her to come to terms with her own emotions and thoughts. :) I'm glad you are enjoying reading this story. :D

 **About** this scene...So, you recall Topic number 2, right? This scene takes place around a month prior to that. This is a few weeks after Kodlak's death and Crystal's elevation to Harbinger. It is a mere few days after she and Vilkas traveled to Ysgramor's Tomb to cleanse him of the wolf spirit within him and she had made the trip with Farkas around a week prior to that. In this scene, my Dovahkin is having some clear struggles processing through everything that had just happened to her, which caused her emotions to go completely out of whack again, leading her to make some hasty decisions without thinking clearly. And so...she departs...

 **# 006 - Break Away**

" _You are the new Harbinger. Lead the Companions into a new era."_

Kodlak's words before he moved onto the next world floated through my head as I laid in my bed in my home in Whiterun. I couldn't bring myself to return to Jorrvaskr with that news on my mind. I didn't ask to be Harbinger. I didn't ask for any of this. All I had wanted had been to help people. I didn't want to get attached. Getting attached to people only ended in pain for me. And for them.

I was coming to a realization, however, that I couldn't keep going like this. I had to either allow myself to be vulnerable again or leave. I knew in my heart what I should do, but I was afraid. I was afraid that even if I did it, nothing good would come of it for anyone. That as soon as I let myself feel what I wanted to feel I would be moved again, or taken from the world. As long as I stayed in Skyrim, it could work out, I knew, but what if I didn't? I didn't seem to have any control over anything anymore. God had given me freedom to choose, but there always seemed to be someone else, or something else, making decisions for me.

I needed time away. I needed to process everything. And I needed to protect the others from the inevitable troubles my disappearance from the world would cause. If I left now, stayed away long enough, perhaps they would choose another to be Harbinger. Perhaps Vilkas, he would make a good Harbinger in my stead.

I sighed heavily and rolled out of my bed, grabbing my travel pack. I resupplied it with some food, potions and a few books. Once I had what I thought I might need, I checked the ties that kept my tent affixed to the bottom of my pack and then slung it on my back. I paused as I reached for Wuuthrad and considered for a moment. I decided to leave it with a note. I sat down to write it.

 _Dear Lydia,_

 _I need to go away for a while and I do not know when, or if, I will return. In the event I am not back within a month's time, please return this axe to the Companions. I was meant to wield it as Harbinger, but I do not feel I deserve such a title. I appreciate the help you have provided me in return for a place to stay away from the barracks and I hope you will help me with this._

 _I need some time to myself, to process things, or try to. I never asked for anything I have and I don't feel I deserve it. If I can't find it in me to break out of this stupor I have been in since my arrival in Skyrim, I do not deserve nor can I lead the Companions. If I don't return, please don't come and find me. It is very possible I might not even be in this world by then….not that I will kill myself or die, but….well, it is difficult to explain and you wouldn't believe me._

 _If you ever encounter a man named Q who can disappear and reappear and make things happen with the snap of a finger...don't go on any task he might set before you. Just don't. Trust me. You will regret following along with anything he says._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Crystal_

Once I wrote the note, I read over it a few different times to make sure I didn't say anything that would just label me as insane or give her too big a scare. After some thought I added something at the bottom.

 _P.S. Please don't tell the Companions about my departure. If they ask, just tell them I went on a job or something._

Once satisfied, I affixed the note to Wuuthrad and then grabbed my old Steel Battleaxe from my weapons rack. I placed it on my back before grabbing my bow and arrows and slinging them over my shoulders.

As I walked out of Whiterun several minutes later, I turned and took one last look at the city before I left it for potentially the rest of my life. I felt my eyes fill with tears as I felt a well of emotions. It was only a moment before I pushed the emotions down into a deep corner of my heart. I couldn't allow myself to feel them. In the end, allowing myself to feel what I did would just lead to pain on the account of all parties.

Without any further delay, I left the city of Whiterun under the cover of darkness. I stopped by the stables to pick up my horse, Talzo, and mounted her before taking off in a random direction. I wasn't sure where I was going, but anywhere would be better than here right now.

I just hoped I could figure out how to fix my personal problems before running from my responsibilities became a regret I couldn't do anything about.


	7. Topic 7: Heaven

**A/N:** So, emotions, haven't found a solution yet. There may not be one, it could be one of those times I just have to wait it out and stubbornly ignore the darker thoughts. It's strange, being genuinely happy while recording or writing and then suddenly be the complete opposite while between or in the car on the way to dinner or whatever. It's starting to improve a little bit, but not a whole lot. Perhaps once I am caught up with everything, I may find my mood improving and my days going more smoothly. Perhaps. We shall see. I also intend to eat better and stop consuming soda, as I think my change of diet since moving back home is affecting my body in negative ways. I've gained weight and that time of month we females deal with was more painful than it has ever been...I heard once that soda can affect that, especially if you are not used to drinking it. I had completely cut it out of my diet for a few years and slowly it got to where I was drinking it all the time again. I'm convinced the soda contributes to the weight gain too, as I am not actually eating all too horribly and I do remain active despite having to spend so much time recording and editing. A better sleep schedule might help, but I have struggled with getting on that for years and my body doesn't cooperate, every time I try to buckle down on it, it seems the insomnia gets worse.

If anyone knows JaidenAnimations on youtube(If you don't, you should check her out! Her work is awesome.), she recently did a video about a face reveal and in it she describes perfectly what it is like to live with something like an eating disorder or depression or anxiety...though the specifics are different for me as I have never really had an eating disorder(at least not to an extreme?) nor have I ever been to vidcon, the general idea is there. The journey to the problem, the struggles with it and how hard it is to break it...she gets it spot on. I have actually watched it a few times since to remind myself I'm not the only one dealing with crappy mental barriers. Honestly, if I wasn't so stubborn I probably would've lost the struggle a long time ago. But, as Jaiden said in her video, it doesn't matter how strong or weak you are, how many times you get knocked down, just keep getting back up.

 **Guest:** Yes, little steps. :) Dark spots don't disappear in a day. If we keep going, we'll make it through eventually! I am glad my work makes you happy. If I make even one person happy with what I do, it is worth it. That is all I want to do, really. Everything I do is to try to make _someone_ 's life a little better for at least a little while. Sometimes I don't feel like I've done a good job at it, but I've learned that that is my depression talking and try to ignore those thoughts. It can be hard, when so many things about my life agree with the negative words, but I gotta believe that someday this will all be worth it. That eventually _something_ will give.

 **About** this scene...This one takes place several weeks into my Dovahkin's time with the Companions. It's before her mission to Dustman's Cairn with Farkas, so she is still considered by the Circle to be one of the whelps. She has done a number of missions for them and gone on at least one with each member of the Circle. Through these missions and down times spent reading books and learning about the history of the Companions from Vilkas, she has been steadily building a friendship with the Nord.

 **# 007 - Heaven**

"So, Sovngarde is kinda like Nord heaven?" I asked as I hung upside down on Vilkas's bed, nose buried in a book.

"I believe so, judging by what you've told me of your heaven," Vilkas said from where he sat next to me on his bed, nose also buried in a book.

We often just sat like this ever since I had joined the Companions. While he had doubted me when I first approached Kodlak, we had bonded over our mutual love of knowledge and books. A couple missions together had us as pretty good friends. Or as close to friends as we could get when I was keeping everyone at arm's length. He had taken to helping me learn how to write with ink and quill, since it was something I was unfamiliar with. We also spoke about the histories of our respective lands as well as religious and personal beliefs.

"I wonder if Sovngarde is part of the heaven I know," I pondered. "Perhaps it is one of the many dimensions. Or just a location in heaven, as the Holy City is merely a location. I mean, from what everyone has gathered so far, it seems there is potential they are part of the same plain of existence."

"Perhaps," Vilkas agreed, flipping a page in his book. "What is it that you know of heaven?"

"That it can't be described by mere human words seems to be one of the most agreed upon facts," I commented, flipping my own page. "Most describe a place full of love, life and light on a greater scale than we could even imagine. Fields with grass greener than any grass known in the world of the living. Darkness is non-existent. People often describe being there as being yourself in a truer sense than possible in this world. Things that mark us fall away and we become ourselves in the purest form. The muk and grime we gather as we live this flawed life are washed away. Expectations, emotional scars...everything is healed and forgiven to those who make it. There's so much more, but I don't know how to word anything else. It's so hard to imagine, because I know any picture I come up with, that I could paint in words or paint, none of it could do it any justice."

"I have heard similar descriptions of Sovngarde," Vilkas commented. "Perhaps they are the same, but different specific areas."

"I guess we will find out when we get there, huh?"

"We will."

Silence reigned for several minutes as we read in silence.

"Vilkas?"

"Yeah?"

"Is it weird that I feel a little impatient to get to the next life?"

I heard movement as he lowered his book and looked over at me with a weird look.

"I'll take that as yes." I flipped a page.

"Do not do anything foolish, whelp."

I chuckled slightly. "I'm not gonna run off and get killed just to get there sooner, Vilkas," I assured him. I almost denied intending to kill myself as well, but found that I didn't have it in me. After all, the thought had crossed my mind before and I wasn't ready to admit that I had to him yet. I may never feel comfortable revealing that bit of my past to anyone here.

He continued looking at me with an analytical gaze, but I ignored him as I continued my reading.

"But I do look forward to getting there someday," I confided.

Vilkas shook his head with a sigh. "You are a strange woman, Breton."

"Not a Breton." I corrected.

"Then what are you?"

"Human."

He just shook his head again, though a smile was on his face.


	8. Topic 8: Innocence

**A/N:** Today was a pretty good day! I was able to hold onto my happiness even after I was finished recording for the day. In fact, I spent my entire time walking my dog with a huge grin on my face as my imagination played out some scenes in my head that made me smile. One of them could've been a good way to take the last topic, Heaven, but too late now. Lol. It will probably be utilized in the full story, though. Not exactly as how I imagined it while walking, though, because that was kinda different, like a couple Skyrim characters ending up in our world rather than the other way around. It seems like a curious idea, I think. Maybe someday I will explore it further. For now, I am quite happy writing this one. :)

 **Nina:** You reviewed two chapters between when I updated last and now, so I will separate the responses. (6) Why thank you! I'm glad you enjoyedit. :) (7) I'm glad you liked this one as well! Conversation between those two comes rather easy to me and at times I wonder if it being easy(compared to conversations I have written in other stories involving a pair or future pair) means I am doing it wrong. *makes a worried face* Life is picking back up, it seems like, at least emotion-wise. Thus far I have been able to stick to my no soda rule, but we'll see how long I can keep it and if it really helps at all. I'm glad you like my work! :D Thank you for enjoying it.

 **P:** Thank you!

 **Manu:** Such a conversation indeed is delicate! Seeing how early the conversation took place in their friendship, I felt that Vilkas wouldn't reveal to her anything about his being a werewolf or what that means for him in terms of Sovngarde. I love when all three, Kodlak and twins, are cured. It feels so happy and light when it happens. Vilkas's mentioning of smelling your heartbeat always makes me melt a little inside. As if that is the one thing he will miss, you know? It's so sweet. Gah, I want to write that scene so much now! Lol. There's so many places I could've taken the Heaven scene, I wish I had continued it further, but there will be plenty of opportunity to use the expanded version in the main story or explore where else I could touch on it then too. :P I always do what I like, no matter what people around me say, it is something my mom instilled on me to just be me and do what I enjoy. I cling to the moments that come when I do. :) And I appreciate readers like you expressing the desire for me to reach those and offering tidbits of advice. It makes me happy to know people care even though they don't know me, just as I care for all of you. :3

 **About** this scene...This scene takes place some time after the defeat of Alduin. I'm thinking probably a few weeks, maybe a couple months, into my Dovahkin's time as a Stormcloak. Probably shortly after or shortly before the mission to get the Jagged Crown and definitely before the invasion of Whiterun. At this point Windhelm's become a main home for her, since she is focused on working towards ending the war. During this time, she doesn't have a lot of physically being near her Companions as she is fighting in the war completely apart from her status as Harbinger. While away, Vilkas is handling things at Jorrvaskr and she remains in communication with him and the other Companions via letters that she has delivered through letters. She did take a break, however, for a couple weeks and traveled to Riften to take care of some business there. One of those pieces of business there she returned to Windhelm with...

 **# 008 - Innocence**

"How are things going on the war front?" I inquired as I walked with Galmar through the Palace of the Kings.

I had just returned from handling some things I needed to address in Riften. I had been away from Windhelm for a couple week's time, so had fallen out of the loop of how the war effort was going. Luckily, they hadn't specifically needed me while I was away, so it worked out. Of course, who knew how long I'd have some time to just focus on doing good deeds for the people of Skyrim. Soon enough I'd be back in the field.

"Things are going well," Galmar said gruffly. "There is a mission with your name on it, however. Our scouts have located the location of one of our men who is being held by the Thalmor. You are usually good at sneaking in and out of places, we thought you might be able to rescue him."

I nodded, jaw stiffening in my annoyance at the Thalmor. "Of course," I asked. "I will leave first thing tomorrow. I must attend to something here, or I would leave immediately."

"What is that?"

We walked into the courtyard, only to find a snowball hitting me in the face. I glanced at Galmar as he laughed at the turn of events. And then a snowball hit his face too. We turned to see where they had come from, only to see Ulfric grinning with a snowball in his hands and one of those things I had needed to address giggling behind his leg.

I grinned, happy to see Maisha was already making friends, with the Jarl at that!

"Ulfric?! What in Talos is going on?!" Galmar exclaimed.

"Isn't it obvious?" Ulfric asked. "Come Galmar, Crystal. I think the war can wait a few minutes while we tend to the little one."

Maisha tossed a snowball and hit me in the chest, the snow slowly sliding down my black armor. I slowly grinned and then scooped up some snow. "Snow war is on!" I declared. "Galmar and I versus Ulfric and Maisha!"

Galmar sighed and muttered about being surrounded by children. As soon as he was hit in the face again, he growled and scooped up snow as well. "Alright, it is on!"

I grinned wider and began tossing snowballs at our opponents. Within moments snowballs were flying back and forth. I was focused on lining up a shot on Maisha and didn't noticed Ulfric behind me until he dropped a pile of snow on top of me.

"Ahhhhh! That's cold!" I exclaimed as I shivered and shook the snow off.

Ulfric laughed, though was still able to duck the snowball I shot at his face to retaliate. He grinned down at me and I couldn't help the grin that formed on my face. A snowball to the back of my head had me turning and refocusing on Maisha though.

"I shall not be bested by a kid!" I declared, throwing my hands up and proceeded to chase Maisha around, forming and tossing snowballs as I went.

I chased Maisha around as we tossed snowballs at each other, laughing and grinning the entire time. Eventually Galmar and Ulfric stopped and just watched us play.

—

"Ah, the innocence of children," Ulfric said with a sparkle in his eyes Galmar hadn't seen in a long time.

"Where did this child come from?" Galmar asked.

"Crystal found her on her own," Ulfric said. "Seems the Imperials killed her parents, so Crystal adopted her."

"I see," Galmar said, looking out at the two frollicking in the snow. "If one didn't know any better, you'd think she was as innocent as the kid. It's like she's completely forgotten about the war. I haven't seen such a smile on her face….ever."

"We all need to escape it sometimes," Ulfric told his second. "Allow her this time of innocence."

They watched as Maisha turned and tackled her adopted mother, who allowed herself to fall to the ground in a roar of laughter. The two rolled in the snow before Crystal rolled to her feet with ease, a large grin on her face as she crouched in a battle ready stance. She feinted back and forth as the Khajiit child made to try to tackle her again. Maisha charged to tackle her again, but she danced out of the way, leading to another bout of laughter as this became a new game for them. Crystal grinned the whole time, while the Khajiit was growing more and more frustrated.

Ulfric couldn't help but smile as he remembered playing such games with his father, back in times when he was more innocent himself. He watched as Crystal sneezed, the cold finally getting to her, and it was enough of a distraction for Maisha to latch onto her waist. Crystal smiled softly down at her, placing a hand on her head.

"Has a knack for kids, that one," Galmar commented.

"Indeed," Ulfric said. "Let's just hope her child doesn't lose that innocence that brings out this side of her."

"Yes, let's," Galmar agreed. For it was a terrible day when one lost their innocence. Though, considering what the kid had been through, it was very possible she already had.


	9. Topic 9: Drive

**A/N:** So I am super tired. After posting this, I am probably gonna set tomorrow's videos to upload and go to bed. I didn't sleep at all last night because while I was recording one of tomorrow's videos a gunshot interrupted me toward the end(you will likely see at the end where my expression cuts from cheerful to not-so-happy though I cut out the gunshot and the long span of silence that followed as I assessed the situation to avoid people becoming super worried) followed by sirens shortly after. I only heard one set of sirens, just the police, so I don't believe anyone was hurt, but it still freaked me out pretty bad and my anxiety didn't let me sleep all night. I took a nap earlier today, but I am still practically asleep on my feet. My brain isn't functioning and I am just tired. The only reason I have lasted this long is because I drank a cup of Starbucks Refresher(Green Coffee ftw). I got a few packets to make that at home in case something like this happens again and I need coffee in order to make it through recording and editing for the day. So yeah, anyways, that was a reminder of why I hated growing up here and it was not much appreciated.

What pisses me off most about it is that someone could've gotten hurt and the fact this kind of thing was commonplace when I was growing up around here. It was nice and peaceful until a certain drug dealer moved back into the neighborhood, the house right next to us actually. They cause a commotion right outside our house, trample over our lawn, take part in illegal activities and now gunshots. I truly hope these people find themselves in jail soon, or at least kicked out of the house they are renting. Preferably one or the other happens before my mom and her boyfriend go to Florida for a week as I had a hard time last time they left and I was home alone and that was before the drug addicts moved back into the neighborhood, before gunshots. I'd prefer to have some peace of mind while they are gone, but it doesn't look like I will...I kinda wish I could be all vigilante hero like Batman or Ironman or any of the others and beat them all up and toss 'em in jail, but if I went over and confronted them either I'd get myself killed or I would end up in some kind of trouble. The police won't do anything until someone gets hurt, if even then. There is no way this man has been operating as long as he is without being known by the police force, especially since he does his business so openly and in daylight even, yet he is still free. It's bullcrap. T.T He needs to be put behind bars and so do all his buddies. But I've honestly lost faith in the police force of this town, they do some good things but they shy away from dealing with the drug problem permeating this pathetic excuse of a town. This is the place that was capital of the state twice in the past? Pathetic. T.T

So, yeah, this is what I'm dealing with. Go figure as soon I get my depression sorted something triggers my anxiety. If it's not one thing, it's another. *sighs* Hopefully you all are having a better time with life than I am.

 **P:** Thanks! I'm glad you liked it!

 **Nina:** Aww, thank you so much for your kind words! :D I'm glad you've been enjoying the story and that you think I'm doing a pretty good job. :)

 **About** this scene...This takes place at some point while my Dovahkin is in Windhelm working with the Stormcloaks. She's been with them long enough to have gained Galmar and Ulfric's trust, but I am not one hundred percent exactly at what point this takes place beyond before the scene for Innocence. A follower of her youtube has found herself in Skyrim and seeks to join the Stormcloaks because of Crystal working for them. Of course, Crystal and Galmar question her motives and she begins questioning them herself, so she asks my Dovahkin for her reasoning behind joining the Stormcloaks...

 **# 009 - Drive**

"What drives you?" Naomi asked curiously.

I shot a look across the dining table at the woman who had shown up a day ago requesting to join the Stormcloaks and claiming to be from the same world I was. It was hard to question her truthfulness, considering she knew things about me that no one not from there would've known prior to her appearance. She had apparently been a follower of my youtube, something that had proven very difficult to explain to my friends here. Whether or not she'd join was still up in the air, as Galmar and I had questioned her reasons, if she had any beyond realizing I was part of their number. Initially she had been firm, but when I questioned whether she was just following me on blind faith or truly believed in the cause, she had shown hesitance.

I shared a look with Galmar, who sat next to her, on Ulfric's right hand. I sat across from him, on Ulfric's other side. I then turned my attention back to the one who had asked the question.

"If you followed my videos, shouldn't you know that?" I asked, taking a bite of my food.

She frowned. "Fighting a war doesn't seem like something someone motivated by love would do," she said, looking troubled by the aspect. "That was the impression I had of what drove you."

I swallowed. "Love is a feeling, but it is more than that. It is standing by those you love in times of need. It is fighting for them when there is cause. It is...so much more than I could sit here and tell in a reasonable amount of time," I said. "Tell me, if someone you loved was being treated poorly, beaten, oppressed, any or all of the above or anything else they shouldn't be, would you not fight to correct that?"

"Hm, I suppose," she said thoughtfully. "But….so many people die in war. You have said you don't like death, yet you kill Imperials…."

"What would you have me say, Naomi? That I avoid killing them? I try, they give me not much room for letting myself be my old pacifist self," I said, now just moving my food around on my plate. "The war will not be won if I avoid killing all of my opponents. Yes, I take issue with death and, yeah, I still have that irrational fear of dead things, but...war doesn't leave room for that. To think it does, would just be naive. While I remain naive on some things...life taught me hard lessons on this stuff before you were even born. And it has only been driving home those lessons in the most recent years. And we can't be so afraid of war and death that people get away with crimes against humanity."

Naomi bit her lip.

"Did you expect to join the Stormcloaks and not have to kill someone at some point?" I asked, grateful Ulfric and Galmar were silent, letting me handle the conversation with my apparent follower.

She bit her lip harder. "Maybe," she admitted. "When I heard that you were part of the war….I thought….maybe I could be useful even though I refuse to kill a soul. I...look up to you, you know? I didn't even consider following you into this would lead to me maybe having to kill someone."

I gave her an understanding, soft look. "I understand," I said. "You have no idea how much I hate my job sometimes. I don't like killing. I absolutely hate that I have to do it. But I would even if I didn't involve myself in the war. I might as well fight for what I believe if I have to fight anyways."

"Is that all? Just because you have to kill anyways?" Naomi asked, looking down.

"Tell me," I said, folding my hands in front of me. "If the Thalmor figured out how to move between the worlds and they came to our home in America, took our resources that people already fight over, took away our freedoms that people already fear the loss of without even having proof they are in danger, stole people in the night, manipulated our leaders….would you sit back and watch while your neighbors, your fellow Americans, your fellow _human beings_ were subjected to such? If your family came under attack?"

"Hell no," Naomi said, looking up and I caught a barely there flicker in her eyes. Then that fire immediately disappeared before it even caught. "But I don't think I'd fight a war…"

"If you wouldn't fight for America, then why should you fight for Skyrim? Because I am?" I shifted in my seat. "I am driven by my love of Skyrim, by my love of the friends I have made here, by my desire to have a home again. But most of all, I am driven to fight for what I believe in. Freedom, liberty...facets of love and thus things I care deeply about. But do not use my reasons as cause to do the same. You must find your own. Until then, do not fight just because I do. Do you forget another thing I have said on my channel?"

"What is that?" Naomi asked.

I slammed my hand on the table. "Do not follow me blindly," I said, a firmness in my tone that I didn't often use. A hardness to it that I had never shown before. "If you watched my Mass Effect playthrough, you know that I do not appreciate people following me who cannot think for themselves. I loved the characters of that game because they all thought for themselves, they didn't just blindly follow Shepard. They followed him because they believed in him, sure, but also because they weighed the costs themselves and knew that the mission needed to be done. If they couldn't think for themselves, they would've all died on the Collector's base."

Naomi looked shocked and then looked away a bit. "I must've missed that episode…" she admitted.

I sighed heavily. "I have missed a lot," I told her. "Look, my point is, if you want to join us, you need to find your own reasons. If you just join because I did, you will lose interest and your heart will not be in it. And we don't need people who just half-ass their jobs. And don't just make up reasons. Find your drive. Find where it leads you. Gather information and search your heart for what you will do with it. Not what I have or would do. Not what your parents or your siblings or your friends would do. What you would do. That is the only way you can make the decision that is right for you."

"I see, I think I understand," Naomi said. She smiled at me a little. "And I think I understand again, why I followed you in the first place."

"Why's that?" I asked curiously.

"You aren't afraid to say what you think," Naomi grinned. "You don't see that often in our world these days. Everyone's so worried about being politically correct."

I chuckled slightly. "I dunno what circles you hang out with, but the majority of Americans are actually fed up with political correctness and that perpetual state of being offended that's been going around," I said. "Why do you think the last election went as it did?"

"I suppose you are right there," Naomi said, rubbing her head sheepishly. "But still, youtubers like you and Markiplier and Jack…"

"Do not lump me in with them," I said. "I was hardly on their level. Jack and Mark are both leaps and bounds better at being a youtuber."

Naomi giggled. "If you say so," she said.

"I do, so nyah," I stuck my tongue out at her childishly, prompting our audience of Ulfric and Galmar to chuckle at me. "But no, seriously, I looked up to those two. It would've been years before I ever had any hope of ever catching up."

"I wonder what they would say about the war," Naomi mussed.

I shrugged. "Who knows? At this point, we'll never know."

"True," Naomi sighed. "I'm gonna miss watching their videos."

"Same," I said. "Occasionally Jack's intro just pops into my head at random."

Naomi giggled. "Top of the morning to you!"

"No, no you gotta do it right," I said. I slapped the air with my hand and shouted "Top of the morning to ye, laddies!" with as heavy an accent as I could muster. I coughed slightly afterward, since it strained my voice to yell that loudly.

Naomi burst into laughter. "If only we could make that slap sound!"

I grinned.

She sobered after a few minutes of laughter. "Well, thanks," she said, looking at me. "Maybe someday I can be so sure of what drives me as you are."

"I am only so sure most days," I confided. "I am only human. I may have been a youtuber, but that doesn't change the fact I have my own low points and doubts."

"Oh," she said.

"Mark has said it and I should've said it, I suppose, not to put us youtubers on a pedestal. We're just like the rest of you." I shot her a serious look.

"I know," she said, picking at her food. "Guess sometimes that is hard to remember."

"Hm," I hummed in understanding. "Hey, don't worry, I get it. We've all been there."

Naomi smiled a bit. "I guess I'll wait to make a decision so large," she said. "After all, I wouldn't want to half-ass my missions." Her eyes twinkled.

"Considering doing so could kill ya," I said, pointing my fork at her.

"I didn't even think about the possibility of dying…"

And with that, I fell off the bench backwards. I heard Galmar groan, shaking his head as he muttered about naive children. Ulfric just sighed as he held a hand out to help me up.

"Is it something I said?" Naomi asked.

We all just stared at her. I was tempted to ask her if she even watched my Mass Effect playthrough.


	10. Topic 10: Breathe Again

**A/N:** HAPPY EASTERRRR! :D

I almost forgot to update today, whoops! I am in the sixties in terms of writing this, so I have no excuse other than I have been distracted by actually having a day I could just relax all day and rest. Been writing on this pretty much all day, actually. Makes me starving, though, which is odd and unexpected. Lol. But, hey, better than having no appetite for days like has happened in the past while I've been writing. I'm feeling pretty good after today.

So, I have a question for you guys. After I finish writing these topics, which would you rather me write next? The full Skyrim story for my Dovahkin that would fill in all, or at least most, the gaps? Or the story that would provide the background for her adventure through the Pokemon world? I have the notes all written out for the Pokemon one, it is based off a Nuzlocke run of Pokemon Y. I do have plans for Crystal to tell everyone about that adventure and part of me is tempted to post that story as a sort of reading story, where my Dovahkin's friends all read about her adventure in the Pokemon world. But I thought I'd ask you all what you think about the idea and which story you'd like to see my write first. So, let me know. :)

 **Mia78:** (8) I'm really glad you are enjoying this story so far, even if it is just bits and pieces from the full thing. :D (9) I do enjoy the game for those reasons as well. Vilkas is one of my favorite characters, my character marries him every time. :P The choice between the Imperials and Stormcloaks was a hard one for me. I took a long time deciding where I feel I really stand on the war. When I first played, I joined the Stormcloaks simply because I was working under the assumption Skyrim's Empire was pretty much the same as Star Wars's Empire. Then I realized it wasn't the same and I figured I needed to do more research. For a time I sided with the Imperials, until I stumbled on even more information and realized that realistically and based upon my beliefs and personality, joining the Stormcloaks just made more sense. Ideally what would happen is the Empire allowing the Nords to rule themselves and the two make an alliance to fight the Thalmor off together, but that's unfortunately not an option. :( Since it isn't, I lean a lot more towards the Stormcloak's side than I do the Imperial's. More than anything it's the fact the Imperials seem pretty weak to me in the sense that they just let the Thalmor continue to walk all over them. After having been walked all over multiple times by multiple people, I just think of letting that happen again and get pissed off. I am so, so tired of such things and I only put up with it for no more than two years by the same person. I just imagine putting up with it for twenty-five years and still not doing anything about it and I imagine what that would do to me and I just couldn't do it. Honestly, it feels like because of that I won't ever make it in this world, because it seems like letting people walk over you is the only way to hold down a job(as in not quit and move), much less getting promotions or raises. T.T *sigh*

 **Guest:** Why thank you! I've put a lot of thought into what my reasoning for joining the Stormcloaks would be and since my Dovahkin is based off me for the most part, her reasons would be the same, or similar at the very least. Obviously, she has a bit more reasoning, actually going through all these adventures, but I like to put myself in my character's shoes and think about what I would do in them based off what the character's past is and their personality that has developed out of that. And while I may not agree about the death of the Thalmor, they certainly need to get out of Skyrim and if they won't do that peacefully, well, I would certainly fight them if they came here and tried to oppress us, so why shouldn't I do the same for Skyrim, right? I've known a lot of cops and soldiers in my life, I get that freedom and safety comes at a cost sometimes.

 **About** this scene...This scene takes place pretty far into the story, though still before both Innocence and Drive. She's been with the Stormcloaks for some time by the time this scene comes around, though the mission to get the Jagged Crown has yet to take place. This scene pretty much ultimately cements my Dovahkin's loyalty to the Stormcloaks. While she is loyal to a fault and would've never turned on them even before this, she does often have her doubts about whether she is doing the right thing. By the end of this scene, she will have decided to throw away all her doubts, own her decisions and walk forward with confidence in her choices. She can't keep giving room to all of her self-doubts lest they decide to distract her in middle of something important. This scene takes place specifically after she has spent some time as a prisoner of the Empire and Thalmor. The Thalmor are convinced she had been the cause of the dragon threat and the Empire just wants her to give up her information, which, of course, she refuses to give either group anything. As I said, loyal to a fault, to her own detriment really. Since she is so tight lips when it comes to secrets she doesn't consider her own, she's been through a lot while their prisoner. She did manage to escape after biding her time for around a week or two(length of time for her imprisonment is not set in stone yet), but was unable to locate her armor and weapons, so she's pretty defenseless besides the Thu'um since she doesn't really know any offensive magic and is pretty shaken up from her time as a prisoner...

 **# 010 - Breathe Again**

I stood, frozen in fear as I stared at the giant frostbite spider in front of me. It was rushing toward me at an alarming rate and I probably should've reacted better. Usually I did, usually I would've moved away while simultaneously shooting it with ranged weapons. But for some reason, all my fighting instincts seemed to have left me. My flee response seemed to be stalling too, causing me to be stuck.

It was hard to blame myself, though. This spider was larger than most. It was even bigger than the one I had faced back in Bleak Falls Barrow back when I was first in Riverwood. It was at least twice that size and as such even uglier and scarier.

 _Come on! I need to move!_ I screamed at myself. Unfortunately my internal screaming at myself didn't seem to be making my muscles work. I was in a state of panic I hadn't been in for a long time. My breath caught in my throat and I couldn't bring myself to breathe. I held my breath, convinced I was about to die.

The spider was upon me in moments, lifting its enormous legs in preparation to attack. My eyes widened as I stared at it, everything just frozen in fear. The spider screeched as started to attack me.

"Fus Ro Da!"

The shout called startled me out of my stupor as my head snapped in the direction it had come from to send the spider flying away from me. Ulfric was rushing forward, not looking very happy. Vilkas was with him, as well as Galmar and Farkas. The fact that they were here put me further into a state of shock. Why would they bother to come find me? Ulfric should be back in Windhelm, focusing on the war effort. Why was he here? Why were any of them here?

"Crystal!" Vilkas called, rushing toward me even as his brother, Ulfric and Galmar began taking on the spider. He reached me and grabbed my arms, catching my eyes. His eyes contained fear and concern. "Breathe, woman! Breathe."

I opened my mouth and shakily sucked in a breath. I shook, tears coming to my eyes as it sank in how close I just was to death just because I had frozen up. My breath came in ragged spurts, both from my fear and the ordeal I had been through that had brought me here.

Vilkas brought me close to him, seemingly completely sure the other three would be able to handle the spider. He held me tight. "Gods, woman," he said. "Don't scare me like that!"

"I'm sorry," I whispered, burying my face in his armored chest. I was still shaking, but I felt better now that they were here. It had been a struggle ever since the Thalmor had captured me and even after I found a way to escape, nothing had been easy as I tried to find my way back to the surface. I had no idea they had an underground prison until I escaped and realized that's where I was.

He rubbed my back, which was unarmored since I hadn't been able to locate my armor or weapons. "It's ok," he said as I heard the spider die behind me. "It's not your fault."

"How is she?" I heard Galmar ask as he approached.

"Shaken," Vilkas said. "I've never seen her like this."

"Crystal, are you injured?" Ulfric asked and I felt his hand on my shoulder.

"Not so much I can't move," I answered quietly. I was still shaking and I was starting to get annoyed with my own fear. I took several deep breaths, trying to calm myself enough I could stop shaking.

"We should get out of here before the Thalmor find us," Galmar said. "If we could track your escape, they will be able to as well."

I nodded my agreement as I moved away from Vilkas.

"Just breathe, Crystal," Vilkas said. "You can get through this."

"Yeah," I said quietly, voice small and subdued. "I'd really rather not get captured again…I should be fine until we get somewhere safe."

Vilkas gave my arms a reassuring squeeze. "Don't worry," he said. "We'll get you home." He handed me Wuuthrad and my armor, which I slid on over the rags I was currently wearing.

"It seems you are always returning this to me," I smiled weakly as we started heading away from the dead spider. It felt heavy in my hands, as the armor felt heavy on my body, and I could see the concern in his eyes upon seeing that I did not hold myself up as easily as usual. I lifted the axe onto my back, flinching at how the weight hurt my back.

"No matter how you run, it is yours," Vilkas teased.

I gave him a weak smile as I trudged alongside him, following Ulfric and Farkas. Galmar took up the rear. It felt nice, actually, to have people who would help me out of binds such as this one. I was shocked Ulfric came himself, but that didn't mean I didn't appreciate it. Because of these four, I felt like I could breathe again. In a literal and metaphorical sense.


	11. Topic 11: Memories

**A/N:** Don't really have much to report today. My internet was annoying yesterday so my videos were rather late getting up compared to usual and my second video today was late due to it as well, since somehow it refused to start uploading when the first video was done. Other than that, got nothing.

 **Guen:** Thank you! :D

 **Guest:** Thank you as well! :3

 **Manu:** Torture from anyone tends to be pretty terrible. From what we saw early on in the game, Imperial torture isn't very pleasant and personally I kind of picture the Thalmor being even worse considering they think so lowly of the human races. So yeah...I might explore details more in the full story, but I might not. Torture tends to be a little darker than what I typically write.

 **Nina:** Indeed, Ulfric has experienced their form of torture before. In my canon for this story, that is why he felt he needed to come with the rescue crew himself. He and my Dovahkin have gotten close at this point and I see the relationship as a kind of father-daughter sort and she eventually views Galmar as an uncle of sorts. She's making quite the little family in Skyrim. :)

 **Rocki. D. Martinez :** Thank you Captain Obvious. Hey, while you're over there prejudging a story based on the sole fact it is a self-insert, consider the fact you should read something before judging it and consider the fact that this is not the full story as well. Also consider the fact that Skyrim is practically a self-insert game if you so choose to play it that way. I often base my decisions and gameplay in games like Skyrim on how I feel I would act and react in those worlds and situations and I also take into consideration what has happened to the character that has not happened to me in reality-based off doesn't mean exactly the same-which applies to my self-inserts as well. Just because a story is a self-insert doesn't make it a bad story in and of itself. I get that self-inserts aren't everyone's cup of tea, but to go around and reviewing stories that are such without ever giving it a chance is just being a troll. I am a member of the old TISSI group from an old forum of mine, that stands for The Incredibly Shameless Self-Inserters. We're actually the ones who started the trend(even though we never really publicly displayed that we were a group, really). And besides that, I haven't even seen any self-inserts Skyrim stories myself, so it's not like they're incredibly common and running rampant in this fandom like they are in fandoms like Transformers and my god are there so many poorly written SI stories in the Transformers fandom. I love imagining how I would act in worlds other than my own, it's therapeutic and I have plenty of readers who seem to enjoy my work. So the fact you think I am wrong for writing a self-insert doesn't bother me too much, but it seems you make comments like this one by habit. I don't actually expect you to return here to even read this, so I will end this response here.

 **About** this scene...It takes place sometime after the meeting at High Hrothgar, so Riften is officially an Imperial city at this point. It also takes place after my Dovahkin defeated Alduin, but before she joins the Stormcloaks. At some point in her travels, likely before reaching Windhelm when she initially left Whiterun, she visited Riften and found herself Thane of the city, though she didn't stay long, not really liking the city. Currently, she is stopping by on her way to complete a mission for the Companions, needing a fairly safe place to crash rest for a few hours. She's made stops here periodically, during which she often sells Brynjolf random and sometimes rare items she happens to have on her that she has no use for, but that is the extent of her dealings with the Thieves Guild or any of its members. Brynjolf, of course, always tries to get her to change her mind. She has no desire to be a thief, however, and merely sees selling him her items as a convenient way to lighten her load and feels the more they get legitimately, the less they are likely to steal in order to stay afloat. She isn't naive enough to believe they would stop their thieving entirely, but she hopes it at least helps stop them from thieving from those who need what they have. Riften always reminds her of the town she grew up in, which is why she tries to avoid it...

 **# 011 - Memories**

I sat on the porch on my home in Riften. I wasn't here often, I tried to stay away from Riften as much as possible. It was full of thieves and other riff-raff. Not to mention, even though I am Thane, I didn't get along well with the Jarl that's been in place ever since the meeting at High Hrothgar. I actually told my housecarl here not to bother with guarding my house. I never left anything here I would be upset about if the Thieves Guild or Imperials stole it. I was too paranoid about it. When I did stay here, I made sure to only bring what I needed and I never slept well. Though not sleeping well was common wherever I was.

As I watched people mill about, however, I was reminded of my home growing up. When you got down to it, Riften wasn't that much different from my hometown. The biggest difference was the way of travel from place to place. Theft was a common occurrence in both places, though from the word around town the Guild was even more bold than the thieves of my hometown. The atmosphere was similar as well.

"What're you thinking about?"

"None of your business, Brynjolf," I told the man as he sat down in the chair next to mine.

"Have you considered my offer?" Brynjolf asked.

"I told you, I'm not a thief and hold no desire to be one," I said. "Speaking of, if you are so set on me joining, tell your cronies to stop breaking into my house. I don't leave anything of value anyways."

"You never know," Brynjolf said. "It's just the newbies, trying to prove their worth by breaking into the Thane's house."

I scoffed a little. "Because an almost always empty house is such a hard target," I shook my head. "Of course, I'm the one paranoid enough to never leave anything here."

Brynjolf chuckled at me.

I cast a glare at the thief. Before long I sighed. I didn't hate the man, he had been nice to me every time I came to Riften. I even traded some valuables with him, allowing him to pay me half the amount he thought he could get for it, whenever I did show up. I was here more often than I would like, even though I tried to avoid stopping here. I may not agree with his profession, but I understood needing to do what you could to survive.

"I still want to know what you were thinking about," Brynjolf said. "You looked rather forlorn."

"This town always brings back memories," I admitted. "It's very similar to the place I grew up. Albeit, with less disappearing women and just a little less oppression in the atmosphere. But the fact that you can't leave anything out in the open or it'll be stolen is the same."

Brynjolf grinned as if he would've laughed if I hadn't just revealed the dark past of my hometown. "Well, women certainly don't just go disappearing around here," he commented. "They did in your hometown?"

I nodded. "Women around my age," I said. "It picked up a lot after I grew up...when I moved back after spending several years away, I was no longer comfortable enough to go on a walk after dark and with the crime increase, I wouldn't even leave in the daylight without my mom's dog...it wasn't as bad when I was a kid, though. When I was young, and innocent. But then….things always look better in memory than perhaps they really were."

"Funny thing memory," Brynjolf said, a sigh in his tone. "The mind seems to pick and choose what it remembers."

"Hm," I hummed in agreement. "By the way, I have some stuff I found in a crypt before coming here. Thought you might be able to use it more than I."

"You claim to hate thieves, but you certainly have helped us a lot," Brynjolf said.

"I don't hate thieves, I hate the act of thievery," I corrected him. "But I get needing to do something to survive. I've done many jobs I hated doing just to stay afloat...if barely." I shifted in my seat. "And that memory is what prompts me to do what I can without crossing my lines."

"I see," he said, looking at me. After a moment, he had to ask. "Why do you hate thievery?"

I looked at him with a completely straight face. "A thief tried to kill me once," I said, then shook my head. "That's not really why, though. Mostly it is because I value honesty so much." I laced my fingers together, leaning on my knees. "I also have this maddening memory of a thief stealing my brother's cat."

"His cat?" Brynjolf asked.

I shot him a look to rival Mace Windu's scowl when Anakin Skywalker was being an idiot. "Take my stuff all you want," I said. "Don't touch the pets."

The expression on his face told me that he probably would never steal a person's pet for fear I would hunt him down and Shout him to death.


	12. Topic 12: Insanity

**A/N:** So, I'm going to be going to Arizona for a week this coming week. I'm leaving on Saturday, which is update day for this story. I will do my best to have the next update up at a reasonable time, but I can't make any guarantees. Just visiting my grandma for a while. :) Of course, this means I have been busting my butt to get videos recorded and edited for my youtube and actually writing this challenge has been at a stand still the last couple days. I do plan to get a camcorder to hopefully give anyone who wants to check it out some vlog updates.

 **mia78:** Yeah, it definitely blows her mind, though in the back of head she is always berating herself for being surprised by it all the time! She feels she should be used to it by now, but she isn't. But she definitely fins it pleasant, though i also makes her fret about screwing the friendships up.

 **Nina:** Why thank you!

 **Manu:** I have never played through the Thieve's Guild. Partially because I am no a fan of thieves, but also because every time I have tried to check it out the game has worked against me. Lol. I can't even get past the initial mission Brynjolf gives you. I personally do not find Brynjolf attractive, myself. I always find it annoying how he just assumes you stole your wealth. XD But beyond that, I'd give him a chance to be a friend. My Dovahkin's relationship with him is pretty much strictly business in her eyes, though she may eventually view him as a friend in the future, if he stops pestering her to join the Guild. :P

 **About** this scene...Well, pretty much I have no idea with this one. XD I honestly have no idea when this scene would happen or if it will stay in the full story or not. Lol. It may be an AU or an off-screen scene to the main story. The extent I know about it myself is that it's after Crystal has joined the Stormcloaks and after an encounter with Sheogorath...

 **# 012- Insanity**

"Crystal."

"Yes, Galmar?"

"Why is there an insane amount of cheese suddenly in the throne room?"

"How would I...wait, what?" I looked up from writing a letter to do a double-take at the second of Ulfric.

Galmar looked grumpy. "You did say something about meeting an insane Daedra obsessed with cheese," he commented.

I followed him out of the room I was in and stood in shock at the sight on the throne room. It was literally flooded with cheese. The entire floor was covered in it, coming up to my chest. Ulfric sat on his throne, looking rather annoyed that the room was flooded with cheese.

"Holy crap!" I exclaimed. "That is an insane amount of cheese!"

"What is the meaning of this, Crystal?" Ulfric asked, sounding rather disgruntled.

"I guess Sheogorath thought we needed more cheese," I shrugged, trying to grin humorously, but it came out strained.

"That Daedra is insane!" Jorlief declared. "What are we supposed to do with all of this?!"

"Give it to the needy?" I asked, shrugging again.

"This is insane," Galmar threw his hands up.

It took around a week to clear the throne room of the insane amounts of cheese. Afterwards, I headed off to Whiterun to attend to my duties as Harbinger while I had a break from missions for the war. Only to find Jorrvaskr flooded with an even more insane amount of cheese.

"That is the last time I help an insane, powerful being," I commented as I stood next to Vilkas, surveying the cheese.

"Isn't your God powerful?"

"He isn't insane!"

He pat my head as I pouted at the cheese. The insane amount of cheese given us by an insane Daedric Prince I wish I'd have never gotten involved with.


	13. Topic 13: Misfortune

**A/N:** I am so tired right now, I don't even know what to say here...

 **Guest:** I think you are the same person for both reviews? (11) Riften is indeed dangerous and a place you can easily get caught up in misdeeds...I literally stumbled myself into a mission to steal a horse the other day. XD Gah! Brynjolf is...better company than many in Riften, though I'd rather hang out with the people of other places myself. :P Just that initial interaction is just argh! (12) Sheogorath sure does like his cheese. Lol.

 **Manu:** Yes. XD

 **About** this scene...this scene takes place at the beginning of the story. My Dovahkin just woke up in Skyrim around a day ago, but has no idea that's where she is. She is trying to determine where she is, whether she succeeded in making it home or not. She traded a bit of treasure she found for a map, not knowing the map was a fake and thus just not decypherable at all. She's puzzling over it when she stumbles into some trouble..

 **# 013 - Misfortune**

I couldn't believe my own misfortune. I had lost everything and I didn't even know for sure where I was. I had traded some random item I had found for a map, but I found the map didn't do me much good without a compass to tell me what direction I was facing. I wandered about the woods as I tried to decypher where I was on the map, which wasn't going well. I wasn't finding any landmarks I could see on the map. All I wanted to know was whether I had managed to make it home or not and how to get back to my friends and family if I did.

"Where the heck am I?" I wondered to myself, turning the map over in front of me.

I muttered to myself as I wandered, not even realizing I was on the verge on wandering into the camp of some soldiers.

"Hey you!"

I startled at the sound and then tripped over my own feet. I fell to the ground on my stomach, arms outstretched out front of me, tearing the map in half by mistake. My glasses fell halfway off my face and I blinked. I sighed heavily in annoyance.

"What do you think you're doing?!"

"Being lost?"

"Bah! Unlikely," a soldier said. "She's probably a spy for the Stormcloaks, here to prevent us from taking Ulfric."

"Uh, no…"

"Silence, Stormcloak scum! You're coming with us!"

I was grabbed roughly by my biceps and then had my hands tied before they tossed me into a tent. I sighed heavily as I grumbled.

"Well, this has just been a series of unfortunate events…" I muttered. "Guess I was due for a heaping pile of misfortune." I sighed, rolling onto my back and closing my eyes.


	14. Topic 14: Smile

**A/N:** So far my time in Arizona hasn't been too bad. It was nice seeing my church friends here again and I even ran into some people I new from work. My old boss was surprisingly really nice, so I think she's put the bad blood we had between us at one point behind her. I feel like I can put it behind me as well now. I also stood up and talked about my trip to Ghana yesterday to my church here. It was...anxiety inducing. I may do youtube now, but it appears that does nothing to alleviate my stage fright when talking in front of people. I was shaking the whole time and I learned I just should not look up when doing such things. But I am told I did well despite that, so yeah. .

Ultimately, it's weird being back here. I keep waking up in the middle of the night and feeling like the last two years were just a dream and that I should be waking up and going to work. It's strange and surreal and I dunno how to feel about that. Nothing has changed really, it's a little disconcerting.

On another note, I really gotta figure out the chronological order of all of these scenes and write that order down.

 **Nina:** (12) Uncle? XD (13) Indeed! I always like starting the game with the regular starting point. I prefer using the mod that has Ulfric going through Helgen with you and Ralof, though, as it makes more sense to me. I always wondered how he got out with the vanilla start. Lol.

 **Manu:** Indeed!

 **About** this scene...This takes place just after my Dovahkin slays the dragon at the watchtower outside of Whiterun and was summoned by the Greybeards. As such, this takes place after topics 1, 2, 6, 7 and 13; and before topics 3, 4, 5, 8, 9, 10 and 11. 12 is still in question whether it is in the main story, but based on everything, it would also take place after this one. My Dovahkin here is taking some time to gather her thoughts before heading up to High Hrothgar to meet with the Greybeards for the first time. The Companions have noticed since before Kodlak died that she didn't smile much, though they did catch glimpses of her smile periodically, and they decided to do something about it. They knew she'd appreciate a practical gift and it would show her that they care if they tried to bring that smile to the surface...

 **# 014 - Smile**

I frowned deeply as I sat on my bed cross-legged, Kodlak's journal sitting in front of me. I had just finished reading it and it should've reassured me. It should've made me feel better to know how Kodlak had really felt about me. After all, the man had become almost like a father figure to me, something that was sorely lacking in my life since I was a child. I wished he could be here right now, to help me sort through these emotions.

I had so many emotions running through me to work through. Loss, from Kodlak's death. Happiness, that I found a place that someday I could call home. Peace, that I had friends who would help me along the way and talk sense into me when I was being stupid. Anger, that I was ever taken from the life I had before to begin with. Depression, at the fact I'd never see so many of the people I loved again. Fear, for what responsibilities would be piled on me for apparently being the dragonborn. Apprehension, about meeting with the Grey Beards. Worry, for what might become of those I care about if I cannot meet the standards I need to.

A knock sounded at the door and Aela poked her head in when I called for her to enter. I looked up, hoping my frown was less prominent.

"Wow, you've really been frowning a lot lately," Aela commented.

"Well, there's a lot to frown about," I said, closing Kodlak's journal.

"Find any peace in there?"

I shook my head. "You'd think I would. The man didn't have a negative thing to say beyond wishing I didn't keep people at arm's length, which was stupid of me, I know that."

Aela grinned. "Damn right that was stupid."

I tried to smile back, but it was weak and not truly felt.

"You need to smile more."

I sighed. "What do you need, Aela? Or did you just come to lecture me on the fact I need to smile before my face becomes frozen like this?"

"I was coming to get you," she said. "We have a mission and you are needed for it."

I sighed slightly. "I am supposed to be leaving soon," I said.

"We can't do it without you," she insisted.

I sighed again. "Ok."

I got up and followed her out of the room and through Jorrvaskr. Eventually, we came to the Sky Forge, where everyone was gathered. I looked at them in confusion.

"So...what's this mission?" I asked.

"There isn't one actually," Aela said.

I blinked at her, giving her a flat look.

"We all thought you have been sad too much," Farkas said. "So we wanted to make you smile again."

"So we'd like to present you a gift from all of us," Vilkas said.

"We all chipped in!" Ria chimed in.

I blinked at them as Eorlund walked forward and presented me with some armor. The armor was pitch black, made out of Ebony. It was smooth and streamline, no fancy spikes or showy designs. It was shiny with not a scratch on it in a fashion that made it clear it hadn't been used yet. It was quality made and I could tell by looking at it, it would fit me perfectly.

"We know you're always struggling to find armor that fits you perfectly," Aela said. "So we decided to have Eorland smelt you some. We all pitched in the Ebony for it."

"We thought you could use some proper protection and we knew you are fond of Ebony armor," Vilkas said.

"So, do you like it?" Farkas asked.

I blinked at the armor and ran a hand across it. It truly was quality and the ebony shined in a beautiful sheen. Simple, effective and shiny. Just the way I liked my armor. Along the top edge, there was an added detail not usually on the pieces of ebony armor I had seen thus far. A wolf head, similar to the one Vilkas had on his, except it was a top view rather than from the front. Upon closer inspection, it had purple marks under its eyes that matched the ones I bore on my face. There were also a few dark purple detailing on various parts of the armor.

"Well?" Aela asked impatiently.

"I do," I answered and found myself allowing a smile onto my face. The first genuine smile since Kodlak's death. "Thank you guys, so much. I appreciate the fact you care enough to do this. I know ebony is hard to come by. I really, really appreciate you guys giving up what you had for me to have some armor that I liked that fits me properly."

Everyone smiled back at me.

"Now, you can only keep it under one condition," Eorland said, pointing at me.

I looked at him curiously. "What's that?"

"You keep a smile on your face and don't abandon your responsibilities," he told me.

I smiled again. "I think I can meet those standards." After all….I was done with running.

As Aela pulled me off to practice archery with her, I reflected that it was nice to have people with me who would remind me to smile.


	15. Topic 15: Silence

**A/N:** So, still on vacation here. Been getting quite a bit done on this, actually. I'm around three-fourths of the way done with this challenge. Still debating on what to do afterwards, whether to write the story that is a prequel to this one, or to write this one's completed form. If I write this one, I'm debating about writing the prologue as a sort of flashback to some moments of the prequel one. I'm also debating about doing this challenge again for that one, but I'm not sure.

What do you guys think? Do you want to see the prequel story first or the full version of this story? Do you think I should show some of the prequel's stuff in a prologue if I write the full story of this one first? I mean, I know I need to pick my Transformers stories back up, but it's still hard to focus on them. And I have enjoyed writing in Skyrim a lot.

 **Mia78:** (13) It does seem like Bethesda likes doing that. Lol. (14) It is so strange to wake up and feel like two years of my life were a dream even though I know they weren't. In a way, I suppose, it gives me a look into what it might feel to be in a situation like the characters I tend to write and wake up thinking it was a dream. A better perspective on it, perhaps. Glad you liked the scene, and that I'm not the only one who sees the Companions coming together to try to pick up the mood of one of their own. :3

 **Guest:** Indeed! Thank you! :)

 **Manu:** Glad you loved it so much! :D

 **About** this scene...It takes place at some point into my Dovahkin's time as a Stormcloak. Her horse, Talzo, had died during the initial mission Galmar sends you on t prove your dedication to the cause. She had chosen to travel alone in this instance, something she hadn't done since returning to Jorrvaskr with Vilkas when he came and fetched her. She's not used to the silence and loneliness of traveling alone without even an animal companion..

 **# 015 - Silence**

It was quiet. Way too quiet. This was why I hated traveling alone. The silence was deafening, maddening. It made me want to fill the void with conversation, but there was no one to converse with. I hadn't traveled alone since I joined the Companions, aside from when I had effectively run from my responsibilities—an action I would forever regret and always try to make up for. Even when I didn't have a partner, I had had my horse to talk to, though Talzo had died some time ago.

When I was a child, I would spend such times that I was alone playing pretend games. I would go on fake missions with people who weren't really there. But I was an adult in my mid-twenties now. I was too old for such things, and if anyone caught me talking to imaginary people they would label me as insane. Perhaps someday this silence would drive me to that point, but I saw no reason to just allow myself to fall onto that path.

I stopped and looked around, hand on the hilt of my axe as I heard noise from my right. I narrowed my eyes, but relaxed when it was just a bunny.

I sighed heavily. "I hate silence," I muttered to myself. "It makes me so paranoid…"

I missed being able to turn on music as I walked. Perhaps it wouldn't have been wise anyways, with how dangerous travel could be in Skyrim, but it would at least keep me from going insane from the silence. If I didn't absolutely suck at singing and if I remembered whole songs off the top of my head, I probably would've just sang my way through Skyrim. Instead, I was forced to travel in silence broken intermediately by whistling. Even whistling didn't help much, though.

It was then, on the way back to Windhelm from my latest mission for the Stormcloaks, that I decided I would never travel alone again. I was finding out quickly that despite being an introvert by nature, I still required the companionship of a friend, or at least an animal, to keep from going insane from the feeling of isolation that silence brought me. It's not like I needed to do these missions alone anyways, I knew people I could trust to help me and not sabotage my efforts.

I'd even invite that annoying snobby guy from Whiterun if it meant there wouldn't be silence. Well, that was probably a bad idea. I'd probably end up Shouting Nazeem off a cliff. Perhaps I should just buy a horse from Windhelm's stables.


	16. Topic 16: Questioning

**A/N:** So I recently discovered I'm descended from the Wright brothers. My ancestors invented flight! Must be why I love flying despite my motion sickness. :P I also have ancestors from, like, every war the US has been apart of as well as ancestors from the Mayflower. The last of those I always knew, but the war bit and Wright brothers are recent discoveries. XD There are so many groups I could join with this information. Lol. I also know at one point in my line, my family was rich, but once upon a time ago only the first born son inherited anything and my family happens to not be descended from the first born son of whomever was the last rich person in my branch of the family. Lol. Once we were rich, now we got squat. XP

 **Manu:** (14) I agree. Much love for the Companions. :3 (15) I love and hate being alone. In Skyrim, traveling alone would be difficult just because of the silence. I always have Vilkas or Farkas with me, depending on if I am using mods or not. I kept Vilkas with me for a while in one playthrough and then he died while we were fighting Falmor. I was so upset and reloaded the previous save, and now I only take him when I am using mods to keep him alive. :( And don't worry! There will be more romance in the future! There is just so much to this story and some topics just don't fit romance into them. Lol. We will likely see more of it in the full story, though. :)

 **About** this scene...This takes place while my Dovahkin is a captive of the Thalmor/Empire. I didn't go into detail with it, but I might write it out more when I am writing the entire story. Also, I'm thinking of putting the events involving this time a little further along in the story than I previously said. I'm thinking now that this takes place after the fetching of the Jagged Crown at some point. Not quite sure yet.

 **# 016 - Questioning**

"What is your name?" the Thalmor questioning me asked.

I half-glared as I checked all my teeth to make sure I wasn't losing any from the punch to the they had given me for being silent when he initially asked that question. "You already know that answer," I growled out. I knew it was likely just protocol, it was protocol in any line of official questioning anywhere. But I still felt like I shouldn't answer it. Maybe that was due to my pure stubbornness, but I digress.

"I suggest you don't make this harder than it needs to be," they said, writing something.

I rolled my eyes, shaking my head. "If there's one thing you should know about me….it's that I do not bend easily...and you have no solid ground with which to make me bend."

He narrowed his eyes at me as he snarled. "We shall see about that." he said. "You will reveal to us details about the Stormcloak's plans and how you summoned the dragons here.."

"Hmm, nah, I think I won't," I said, giving him a half-defiant, half-smug look. They had really captured the wrong person if they really wanted any information. I tended to be good at keeping secrets belonging to people besides me. The Stormcloak secrets were locked tight. The only secrets I told anyone, ever, were my own and even those I would never tell the Thalmor. Either way, the dragons weren't _my_ fault.

Of course, after that quip, I was subjected to several hours of becoming intimately aware of how painful Thalmor torture methods were. The questions were actually few and far between, but I didn't answer a single one. The torture was painful, as to why it was called torture, and I was pretty sure I'd feel the physical effects for weeks once I got out of here. But I wasn't anything if not stubborn.

By the time he was done with his "questioning", I was laying in a small pool of my own blood. I supposed, in hindsight, being forced to come to terms with my fear of blood months ago turned out to be to my benefit. It was one less thing they could use against me. Not to say I was completely over that fear, but in times I felt pressured or like my life or the life of someone I cared about was in danger, the fear of blood felt rather small comparatively.


	17. Topic 17: Blood

**A/N:** So, as you guys know, I just spent the last week in Arizona for a visit. What I find funny about it all, now that I am back home, is that I lived there for three years and rarely ever got bit by the myriad of insects that exist in the desert. I went back for just a week and from Wednesday to the moment I got on the plane to return home I was eaten by a variety of different bugs. Spider bites, mosquito bites, some that look like flea bites and some that I've yet to identify to any level of sureness. All over my body, some of which absolutely refuse to stop itching. So now I have to put anti-itch and anti-bacterial cream practically all over me and it makes me feel all ick and gross, like I need to scrub myself clean. Ugh! I hate insects. T.T

 **Nina:** (15) A traveling at the very least! XD (16) Yeah, don't we all? Darn those Thalmor. :P I'd love to punch them all in the face. Lol.

 **Manu:** Unfortunately, my grandmother's sisters all made sure that my grandma was left with very little in way of family heirlooms. She got a few, but I already have seen them all. If only we lived in a house where we might yet discover some left behind. *sigh* Such a treasure hunt would've been fun to have, especially now that I actually have interest to know what could be learned from such. Too bad our part of the family has been basically outcasted by such petty individuals. T.T I don't even know why, no one in my immediate family seems to know or gma just won't tell us. *sigh* Mom has started to reconnect with her father's side, but, you know, I dunno if we'll ever get to reconnect with gma's side. But, anyways, yes, the Thalmor don't seem to care about such things. Even when I had no real interest to learn, I wasn't so disrespectful as them. *rolls eyes at Thalmor and their ridiculousness*

 **About** this scene...The topic was blood...there were a number of things I could've done it, which would've fit Skyrim just as well, but I decided to use something the specifically went with my character, and myself as well. This scene takes place during the escape from Helgen, where you travel with Ralof in the game, and Ulfric if you have the opening scene overhaul mod and in my story. This is basically when you're going through the torture room you pass through..

 **# 017 - Blood**

"There's so much blood…" I said as we paused in the room we were in after dispatching the Imperials in it.

"It's an Imperial torture room," Ulfric told me.

My lips thinned into a tight line as I glanced around. My eyes, I knew, were wide and I was struggling against my body's reaction to try to pass out. I felt my legs grow weak, but I did my best to force them to remain firm. There was blood _everywhere_ , and I was prone to nearly pass out at small amounts. It was a fear I knew I'd have to get through….even if all this hadn't happened I would've. One does not go into Forensic Science without dealing with blood on a regular basis. It was one of my biggest personal obstacles to anything. An intense fear of blood.

My stomach churned as my eyes landed on a table that held restraints. It was covered in so much dried blood, it was hard not to puke just imagining what might've happened on it. Next to it was a small cage, making my eye twitch. Another fear of mine was being trapped in small spaces. Not small spaces themselves, if I could get out I was fine, just being trapped in them. I did not like this room at all and was quite eager to leave so I could get back to pretending like my fears didn't exist.

"Hey! You ok?" Ralof asked, grabbing my arm lightly.

I swallowed and took a deep breath. "I-I'm fine," I said, letting out a shuddering breath. "But let's get out of here, I can't stand this room much longer."

"I'd say," Ralof said. "You look like you've seen a ghost!"

I bit my lip, but said nothing as I moved toward the next door. I passed by Ulfric on the way and noticed him looking at me. I wasn't sure what he was thinking and at the time, I didn't care whether he was showing sympathy or judging me for having such a fear or showing such fear. I just focused on getting out of the room and away from the blood, away from the torture devices that made my imagination run wild with worse case scenarios. I wished in that moment that I didn't know about various tortures methods used in olden times. I wished I didn't have a vivid imagination. And I wished my mind didn't love taunting me with possible worse case scenarios.

Most of all, I wished I didn't fear blood so much. Then maybe I wouldn't have found myself struggling to keep consciousness when we came upon a victim of the torture lying in a pool of his own blood in the cells in the next hallway.

"Hey! Relax! We're going to get out of here just fine," Ralof assured me.

I took a couple deep breaths, trying to steady myself. "It is not that I doubt that," I said, looking up at him as Ulfric peered around the corner just in front of us. My eyes darted to the blood and then I looked back at him.

He seemed confused for a moment before realization came across his face. "You have not seen much battle, have you?"

"No," I said anxiously. "But that doesn't matter right now. I will adjust, I always do. But first I gotta focus on living."

"Aye," Ralof agreed as he let me go.

I was steady enough on my feet again that we could keep moving. I hoped someday I could see blood without having such an intense reaction, but my first order of business was to survive long enough to get through this fear of mine. I had worked through so many of my old fears already, I could this one too, if it was required of me. At least I was able to ignore it enough to be useful in getting the group of people I was with out of Helgen and away from that dragon.


	18. Topic 18: Rainbow

**A/N:** This is a really short scene, huh. Also, I seem to be experiencing a glitch in Fanfiction's system. I have gotten four reviews since my last post and not a one of them are appearing for me when I go into the reviews. One of the reviews I responded to, the one from Manu, also is not appearing there for me. If not for my emails about them, I wouldn't be able to go back to reread them in order to write out my responses to them now. I dunno whether they show up for you guys or not, but I personally find this to be a little annoying. As it stands, I have 46 reviews on this story, but only 41 of those reviews even show up. It's so weird. I want to be able to reply to you guys because I appreciate you reading and reviewing so much! It irks me when I cannot respond to people who have taken time out of their day to not only read my work, but also let me know what they think. *sighs* And this isn't only for guest reviews, as mia78's reviews aren't appearing either and they have an account. At least I have email records to refer to, but this glitch is frustrating.

 **mia78:** (16) Thank you! I'm glad you have been enjoying it. :3 (17) Why thank you!

 **AllieSnow:** I'm glad you like it so much! Actually, I have been inquiring with my friends to help me decide what kinds of scenes fit with my given topics. Mirror is one I am having a hard time with. Your idea here actually would be perfect for one of the topics I have at hand! XD I might write something out with it and compare it with what I've already written for said topic to see which I like better with how I write it. :3 Thank you!

 **P:** Cool! I'm glad I could spark someone's love of Skyrim back up! :D

 **About** this scene...You know, I don't really know when or where this scene takes place right now. I picture it taking place pretty far into my Dovahkin's time fighting in the war and she is likely starting to feel like it will never end. Rainy days always tend to bring emotions down and there are times when even the strongest of us can get discouraged. Why is she working with this Khajiit? I have no idea. I kinda imagine her partnering with this Khajiit in order to retrieve some items stolen from both of them by bandits or something. I have this mental image of m Dovahkiin losing one of the few items she has left of her old life. Perhaps this scene takes place during her quest to retrieve it...

 **# 018 - Rainbow**

"Rainbow!" I shouted and pointed at the sky.

"Is that what you call it?" the Khajiit I was doing business with,Tai'isha, asked. "This one hasn't seen one before."

I blinked at the black furred merchant in surprise. "Do you not have rainbows in Elsweyr?"

"This one does not know," she replied. "This one lived under a rock." The humor in her voice told me that she didn't literally live under a rock, but understood that I found their lack of seeing rainbows as something impossible.

"Well," I shifted a bit. "It's pretty, isn't it?"

"It is," Tai'isha nodded. "Like prismatic rays painted across the sky, a celestial arc to brighten this dreary day."

I blinked again. "That's deep," I said.

Tai'isha flashed me a feral grin that would've sent a shiver down my spine had it not been for the twinkle in her eyes.

I turned my attention to the rainbow, tracing it across the sky. It started in the direction Whiterun was in relation to our location and headed toward Windhelm. Well, where it started and ended was hard to tell, to be truthful. It was rather large and I couldn't tell just where it bent down toward the ground on either side. It was more like a celestial stripe across the sky than an arch. I could only assume Tai'isha was somewhat familiar with the concept if she knew it was an arch. Or maybe it is just because of the curvature of the planet.

Either way, the sight of the rainbow was a boost to my moral. It was a symbol of hope, something I was beginning to run low on these days. Suddenly, I felt better. If even here, the rainbow existed, then perhaps even here there would be peace someday. I mean, at least here my actions seemed to matter. There was hope after all.


	19. Topic 19: Gray

**A/N:** So I've been thinking. You see Skyrim stories all the time about the Dragonborn or SIs where the main character becomes the Dragonborn. But what about an SI where you aren't the Dragonborn? Where nothing goes in your typical fashion? Where you don't even fall in love with whomever your favorite character, but either just another person or someone just not often thought of by the fans to be a romantic interest? So now I'm really wanting to write such a story. And I kinda don't want this to fall to the wayside, because just imagining it has been really fun. What do you guys think?

 **Arivania Moons:** I'm interested to find out what you do with your story. :3 Glad you like mine!

 **Nina1:** I'm not sure if there are two Ninas or if you reviewed twice on the same chapter? *tilts head* Either way, I'm glad you liked the scene! Thank you for your kind words. :D

 **Nina2:** Again, not clear whether you are the same Nina as above or different person. XD Anyways, the idea of Vilkas and Crystal sharing a drink is an interesting one. I may explore it at some point, but I'm not sure. My Dovahkiin isn't really one for drinking typically. Not to say she never does, just that it is rare.

 **Guest:** Yay! :3 My work made someone happy! :D

 **About** this scene...This scene takes place during the main questline, before my Dovahkiin has decided which side she is on for the war. She was told to broker peace in order to deal with the dragon threat and the Greybeards have agreed to host negotiations. All that's left is to convince the two leaders...

 **# 019 - Gray**

I had never been to Solitude before, so when I found myself in the city, I couldn't help but notice how...gray it was. The walls surrounding it were gray and didn't seem to be solely around the edge. The buildings were gray, the ground was gray. And the atmosphere felt...gray if one were to describe it in a color.

Imperials walked around and somehow with all this gray around them, they almost looked depressed and dejected. They weren't anymore so than the rest of the people of Skyrim, though. It was just the effect of the amount of gray in the area, I supposed, that everything seemed depressing to me. It probably didn't help that it was getting rather late and the sun was setting. The rainy weather also gave the impression of something being very gray.

If I were to describe the mood I was in going through the city in terms of color, it would also be gray. I felt depressed and weighed down with the expectations placed upon my shoulders. As it turned out, I was something called the dragonborn, a strange concept that I would end up being such. So now it rested on my shoulders to save Skyrim from the dragon threat, which was the whole reason I was here.

I had found myself being sent to try to negotiate a truce between the warring political parties so I could deal with the dragons. Balgruuf wouldn't help me without securing some peace for Skyrim, at least for the time it took to deal with Alduin. And I couldn't do anything without his help. After securing word from Tullius that he would attend the meeting, I would be heading to Windhelm in order to convince Ulfric to agree to come as well.

I stepped into the castle, where I had been informed I'd find Tullius. As I shook my head, to rid my hair of excess water, I noticed everything in here was gray as well. It was really beginning to feel like the Empire was depressed. I wouldn't be surprised if they were, having been defeated by the Thalmor twenty-fives years ago and still not having the strength to fight back.

"Who are you?" someone asked, approaching me, weapon at the ready.

"Name's Crystal," I replied, pushing water off my gauntlets. "I'm here to speak to Tullius."

"That's General Tullius to you," the soldier in front of me said, glaring at me.

"Yeah, sure, the General," I said, rolling my eyes. "I need to speak to him. It's about the dragons."

The soldier stared at me, as if analyzing me. I stood, mentally preparing a speech if he tried to argue. There seemed to be no need, however, as Tullius walked out at that moment and demanded to know who the stranger in the planning room was. I hadn't even noticed the map on the table until he mentioned it.

"I'm here to request a meeting," I said. "Between you and the Stormcloaks."

"Bah! As if any meeting would end well," a woman behind him said. She glared at me, causing me to shift uneasily.

"Look, I get you guys don't like each other," I said, looking between Tullius and the Nord woman. "But the dragons are the bigger threat right now. I have a plan to deal with them, but I can't do anything while you guys are at each other's throats." I threw a hand up, sending my own glare their way.

"What makes you think you can handle the dragons?" Tullius asked.

I almost slipped and let him see my stress and frustration. Instead, I levelled a serious stare at the two of them. "I'm told it is the duty of the Dragonborn to deal with the dragons."

Silence reigned for several minutes, followed by Tullius agreeing with the meeting, despite the Nord woman still being apprehensive about it.

I was more than happy to leave Solitude and its grayness behind to head toward Windhelm. Vilkas was meeting me half way there and I was looking forward to being in the company of someone less depressing that I knew I got along well with.


	20. Topic 20: Fortitude

**A/N:** Not a single review since I last updated. Was it the timing? Or did you guys not like the last scene? I don't blame you if you didn't. Gray is a hard topic to write and the scene will likely be a bit different in the full story...

 **Edit:** So I figured out why no one reviewed...because no one knew it was updated the other day! Fanfiction didn't properly process the post and thus claimed it wasn't updated since topic 18. T.T All these glitches... Sorry about that guys! I will pay better attention to that from now on!

 **About** this scene...Takes place, again, during the time my Dovahkiin spent as a prisoner of the Thalmor and Empire. Probably around the tail end of the time. As I mentioned, my Dovahkiin is very...stubborn about staying tight lipped enough not to betray those who are dear to her. This would be directly after a..."questioning" session. More torture than questions likely.

 **# 020 - Fortitude**

"I must say, I am impressed with your fortitude," my "interrogator" said.

I glared up at the Imperial. They seemed to be trading turns trying to break me, the Thalmor and Empire. As it was right now, I was being interrogated by an Imperial torturer in a room not unlike the one we passed through back in Helgen. And I was bleeding, heavily. Every breath was painful and it was a struggle to stay awake between the blood loss and the fear of the blood. While I had worked through the fear, it was still there, in the back of my mind, making me queasy and lightheaded.

"Are you not afraid of death?" he asked, looking at me as if I was an enigma. Perhaps I was.

His access of my feelings was a far cry from the truth, however. While I wasn't necessarily afraid to die, I did feel as if it wasn't my time yet. I was afraid right now, very afraid. Not so much of dying, but more so of failing those I cared about. Failure was part of life, but I still feared if I let anything slip I'd be deserted by my friends, whether or not they really would leave me behind. But courage wasn't the absence of fear, it was fighting even though you are afraid. And I would die before I betrayed those who trusted me. It was a rare commodity, to find someone truly willing to trust me...to call themselves my friends, to allow me into their inner circle to see what was truly going on. I simply refused to do anything that would betray that trust.

"I will tell you, that your courage will gain you nothing," he said, pacing next to me. It almost felt like he was reading my thoughts, as if he knew I was clinging to the courage I had left. "If you refuse to tell us anything, you will eventually die from all of this. If you tell me what you know, I will make sure your sentence is lightened."

I rolled my eyes at him. A lightened sentence would likely only mean a quicker death, or a life spent as a prisoner. I didn't really want either, especially not the later. I've spent enough of my life in situations where I felt trapped.

"Well, I will give you some time to think about it. In the meantime, I will have someone tend to your wounds. I admire your fortitude, at least."

As he left, I wondered, was this really fortitude? It seemed odd to me that he was saying I had such a thing. Wasn't that something that the heroes of video games, legends and times we only heard stories of had? To think I shared such an important trait with such characters made my head spin. Or was that just the blood loss? It was hard to tell anything at that moment. I'd have to find a way out soon, or I might end up saying, or doing, something I regretted later on.


	21. Topic 21: Vacation

**A/N:** So this other story idea just won't leave me alone...So I am beginning to write it today. I am many, many topics ahead in writing this challenge, so I can stand to take a step back once in a while. I still plan to write the full story for this and the prequel, but nothing says I can't have two projects I am actively working on. :P Here's to hoping I can keep up!

 **Arivania Moons:** Indeed, there are a lot of people like that. But loyalty is important, people are important, my Dovahkiin understands that. :)

 **Manu:** (19) It was! When I played it the first time, I thought for sure one of them was going to say no! XD And the actual meeting, ugh! Lol. (20) It is so hard. Thank you, though. :)

 **P:** (19) Tullius is, I dunno. I don't dislike him as a person, but I don't agree with him. Also, I can try my hardest to keep things completely even in negotiations and he still always calls me a Stormcloak supporter even when I am trying not to be, even though I am. Maybe he just sees through my attempts, though I tried once to gain his support and things seemed unfairly tilted toward the Empire so Ulfric got mad and I felt bad, so yeah. Maybe because I've always rescued Stormcloaks already from the Thalmor prior to the negotiations. :P I can never see a romantic interest between Rikke and Ulfric, maybe an old comradarie though. (20) Ondolemar? That stuck up Thalmor from Elenwen's party? Ew. XD It seems a lot of us are infatuated with Vilkas. Lol.

 **About** this scene...This takes place probably about a week or two after the defeat of Alduin. My Dovahkiin has spent the time since defeating him recouping from injuries sustained during the battles lead up to and the battle itself against Alduin. Shortly she will be traveling to Windhelm to join the Stormcloaks, but first she is taking a day to herself, spending it with Vilkas to just relax.

 **# 021 - Vacation**

"It's nice to relax for once," I said, laying back on the grass.

"Didn't you say Galmar had a mission for you after you defeated Alduin?" Vilkas asked from his spot next to me.

"Yeah, and I will head to Windhelm soon," I told him. "But today is my vacation day. I need to recoup, I'm barely healed from my injuries."

"Finally thinking of yourself, I see," Vilkas said, teasing in his tone.

"Shush," I said, slapping his chest. "I am just...tired."

Vilkas chuckled at me. "So what do you plan to do with your vacation day?"

"Why can't I just lay here? It's nice to take a break from the craziness that is life in Skyrim," I said.

"True," Vilkas agreed. "But you really want to just lie here all day?"

"Probably not, but for now," I said. "And this is probably the last nice day before it's just cold."

I closed my eyes, enjoying the warm air and the feeling of the sun on my skin. I was probably going to get sunburned if I stayed like this for too long, but I was too relaxed. I felt myself drifting off a little until I felt someone brushing my hair out of my face. I opened an eye to look over at Vilkas. He hesitated then, but I just smiled at him.

"Hey, you know what, let's go find a lake to swim in," I said, grinning suddenly.

Vilkas chuckled slightly at me. "Sounds like a plan to me."

I grinned, giggling at his use of one of the things I said often. We got to our feet and headed off.


	22. Topic 22: Mother Nature

**A/N:** So I realized while recording today that I have two months worth of videos in my stockpile. That is encouraging that I can get enough built up to cover the time I am in school. :D Though the fact I still hate the sound of my own voice makes editing annoying as crap. Lol.

 **P:** Thank you!

 **Guest:** I'm glad you liked it so much. :D

*sits and wonders where her other regulars have gone*

 **About** this scene...This takes place on the way back from the recruitment mission given by Galmar to test whether you are committed to the cause or not. A blizzard hit and my poor Dovahkiin is left to trudge through it on foot because Talzo went and jumped off a cliff...which is exactly how my horse died when I was doing this mission in my very first playthrough of Skyrim...

 **# 022 - Mother Nature**

"Mother nature hates me," I muttered as I trudged through the snow.

I knew it was going to be snowy and cold on the way to and from the Ice Wraith Galmar requested me to kill. What I hadn't known, and I suspected Galmar did, was that blizzards were common here and I was now stuck in the middle of one.

"Shit," I said, shivering as I pulled my fur cloak tightly around me, hoping it was actually helping. "This was a bad idea...I should've stayed at that cave until tomorrow…"

I shivered and looked around, trying to see anything. As far as I could tell, there was no hope of finding shelter, but I wasn't about to give up hope, as tempting as it was to just stop. It was a little discouraging that Galmar hadn't given me warnings about the harsh weather, but at the same time, I understood why he did so. It was a test of dedication, stubbornness and persistence. The thought made me remember all the times I tried to be those things and failed. But there were just as many that I had succeeded. I tried to focus my thoughts on my successes rather than my failures.

 _We never give up! That's our nindo! Right, Crystal?!_

I remembered the conversation I had with one of my best friends. She had been giving me a pep talk when I was at a low point, reminding me of who I was and what I stood for. The memory made me stand a little firmer and set my jaw as I pressed forward through the snow. If I just kept going, I'd get somewhere eventually. And then I could wait out this storm and make my way back to Windhelm. Regardless of the circumstances, my friend had been right. I was never one to just give up and when I set my mind to doing something, I did it. I may not do it _when_ I wanted to, but I _would_ do it.

If only mother nature was working with me in my endeavors though. I was not yet adapted to the cold and not used to traveling in such heavy snow. It didn't help that my horse had gone and jumped off a cliff to flee the ice wraith. So while I wasn't giving up, mother nature was certainly making me miserable. I only hoped I didn't return to Windhelm sicker than a dog.


	23. Topic 23: Cat

**A/N:** So I have been working on getting all my series on youtube caught up with where I have most of them. I had almost forgot what it is like to sit down and play the same game for more than forty minutes. Lol. It's nice, actually. Recording so much at once, that is. I still play games on my own, to make sure they stay a fun habit and don't turn into a "oh my god, why?" thing. But when I am recording I only play the game between twenty to thirty minutes in an episode. It's nice to keep going. :P

Thank you all for reading and reviewing! It means a lot that you guys have stuck by my story! Especially since siding with the Stormcloaks, without having fallen for Ulfric, seems to be a rather unpopular opinion. Lol. I am not entirely on my own. XD

 **Manu:** (21) Indeed it does! :3 (22) Very inhospitable weather, Skyrim has, indeed. :P But stubbornness has always been a trait of mine, which translates into my characters, even ones not based on myself. Lol.

 **Guest:** Indeed it is! It is nice for my Dovahkiin to have memories to remind herself of who she is, though. That will to never give up can be hard to cling to at times.

 **About** this scene...this scene takes place after some trouble with the Dark Brotherhood. The specifics of the trouble will be revealed over a few different topics that are to come, so I will not specify beyond that they are after my Dovahkiin right now. My inspiration for this trouble comes from the fact that I encounter a Dark Brotherhood assassin practically every time I leave any of the cities in my playthrough I am going through for inspiration for this story. I haven't even talked to the Aretino kid yet, so they aren't after me for killing Astrid. Just trying to kill me. Lol. But none of that really matters for this scene. My Dovahkiin found a kitten a few weeks short of being able to eat solid food abandoned in the cold, probably in the courtyard considering she is on lockdown. Galmar is less than pleased...

 **# 022 - Cat**

"No," Galmar said.

"But look at it! It's so cute!" I said, holding out the tiny kitten I had found. "And small and defenseless….and it's too young to be on its own. It can't even eat solid food yet."

"And how do you expect us to care for it?" Galmar asked, crossing his arms.

"I know how to care for a kitten, Galmar," I said, bringing the kitten close to my chest as it shivered. It buried itself in the furs I was wearing. "I've rescued kittens before." I didn't always succeed, but he didn't need to know that.

"What's it going to eat?" he asked. "You just said it's too young to eat solid food."

"Goat's milk," I replied. "It's not as good as its mother's milk, but it will give it the nutrients it needs and I have saved kittens with it before. It'll just be a few weeks before it can start eating more solid foods." I jumped slightly when it managed to wedge itself into the furs, its own fur coming into contact with my skin. It curled up and started purring.

"Crystal, there is a war going on," Galmar said, rubbing his temple. "And you have been one of our key players. We can't afford for you to focus all of your time on this kitten."

"Well, there's always someone around the palace," I said. Nevermind the fact I was still on lockdown after the Brotherhood incident, though neither of us verbally acknowledged that fact at this point. "And I have friends who would help out. I can find someone I trust enough with a kitten to care for it while I am away."

He sighed heavily, shaking his head.

"What's going on, you two?" Ulfric asked as he entered the war room. He gave me an odd look when he heard the kitten's purring.

"The dragonborn's brought a kitten home with her," Galmar grumbled.

"Oh?" Ulfric asked.

I extracted the kitten from my furrs and held it out for Ulfric to see. It mewed softly, trying to reach for my furrs again. I brought it close, allowing it to settle on my chest as I held it secure.

"I keep telling her she doesn't have time to care for the kitten," Galmar said.

"I'm not gonna just let it die," I said, stubbornly turning my head away. "It's not the kitten's fault its mother abandoned it or died, or whatever happened to it."

"So you wish to keep it," Ulfric said. He crossed his arms. "Do you know how to care for it?"

"Of course I do," I stood up a little straighter. "This isn't my first kitten rescue."

"As long as it doesn't interfere with your duties to us or your Companions, I see no problem with it," Ulfric said.

I grinned. "No worries!" I said, stroking the kitten's fur as it mewed again. It continued to mew and I could tell it was one made out of hunger. "Now, I need to get it some milk."

"The chef will be willing to allow you some from the kitchens," Ulfric told me.

I nodded. "K, thanks," I said, still grinning. I walked past him and headed toward the kitchens with a bounce in my step I hadn't had in as many days as I had been practically locked in the expansive castle.


	24. Topic 24: No Time

**A/N:** I literally cannot go into a store with animals without wanting a pet. I want a rabbit now. The one I held in Royal King was so cuddly and so sweet and didn't want me to put him/her down. I wanted to bring it home right then, but knew I couldn't commit to it without A)knowing how much I would be spending for getting started and upkeep and B)knowing whether or not I could have the rabbit with me in college. The answer to A was that it was reasonable and I could've made it work. The answer to B, however, was that the only pets allowed on campus are fish. I don't want a fish. I can't cuddle with a fish. I can't pet a fish. Feeding a fish is...boring. I can never keep fish alive. I don't want another fish as long as I live. I like eating fish. Fish as a pet, not so much. Fish would not help me emotionally or calm me in times of stress. This bunny would've been perfect. But no, I can't have bunny with me at college. I can't leave bunny with mom either. Dog would want to eat bunny. Dog would be distracted by bunny 24/7. Dog would terrify bunny without me around. Mom can't go up and down stairs to care for bunny in safe place. No bunny. No puppy. No kitty. No pet that is my own until free from college. Me sad. :(

 **P:** Yesh! Thanks for the review. :)

 **Manu:** Ulfric being a father figure is exactly how I see him for my Dovahkiin. XD Kodlak was grandfather-figure and Ulfric father, Galmar is uncle. Big Ol' Bear Uncle Galmar. :P As for pets, my characters always seem to bring home cats in my stories. Lol. One of these days, I'll mix it up. Lol. I think in my other Skyrim story, a bunny is due, just to be different and in honor of the bunny I cuddled today. I loved it so much and if I had even a small bit less self-control I would've tried to buy it. Lol.

 **Arivania Moons:** Why thank you!

I haven't seen **Nina** or **Mia78** for several chapters. A few others as well, but those two had been pretty consistent. I hope I didn't offend them or something. And that they are ok, as well.

 **About** this scene...It takes place on the way out of the temple you find the Jagged Crown in. The structure became unstable during the fight with the dragon prior to entering and as the grup began leaving it began collapsing. One of the troops got hit by a rock and feel unconscious. Ever the self-endangering person she is, my Dovahkiin pays no attention to the doubts expressed by her peers about there being time enough to save him and charges back into the falling apart rubble...

 **# 024 - No Time**

"There is no time!"

There was never time. Never time to just sit back and relax. Never time to just chat with my friends. No time to just sit and write or do any of my old hobbies. No time to get out of this mess or that mess. No time to run and save this person or that person.

Except that I always found a way to make time for such things.

"No man left behind, soldier!" I yelled back.

Without wasting another moment, I darted back into the temple before the entrance could fully cave in. Once inside, I grabbed ahold of the soldier that had been knocked down by a falling stone. I hefted the soldier up, supporting his weight as best I could. I looked back toward the exit to see that I didn't have much time to get out, no time at all. If I tried to walk, I would fail. Luckily, that wasn't a problem.

"Wuld Nah." I whispered and suddenly I was outside again, the soldier hanging from me limply. The entrance collapsed behind me.

"Tyscar!" another soldier ran up and helped me lower the unconscious man to the ground.

"He's alive," I assured. "Just needs a healer."

"Thank you! Thank you so much!" the soldier who had come to help said, looking up at me with tears in her eyes.

I reached out and put a hand on her shoulder. I gave her a reassuring smile as a healer came and kneeled next to the unconscious one. I stood and left them to tending to the man, walking over to where Galmar was observing from.

"Impressive use of the voice," Galmar said as I approached. "You made time where there was none."

"Yeah, well, I had to," I said, glancing back at the soldiers. "I have a problem with leaving people behind. Perhaps it is the military influence I had in my life growing up, but if there is even the smallest chance to save someone, I will take it."

"Hm," Galmar hummed gruffly. "Well, I'm glad you succeeded."

"I am as well," I replied. "Though I am curious what caused that cave in."

"The dragon from earlier probably weakened the structure," Galmar surmised, eyeing the entrance. "We're lucky we got out when we did."

I nodded my agreement. "Well, I'll get this crown to Ulfric." I patted the pack I had placed the artifact inside. "I'll go ahead with it, if you'll make sure the wounded are all taken care of."

Galmar grunted in agreement. "Go, I will take care of things here," he said. "Just make sure you get there in one piece."

"Aye," I grinned at him before saluting and walking away at a brisk pace.


	25. Topic 25: Trouble Lurking

**A/N:** Don't you hate it when trolls come around just to put anyone and everyone down that they possibly can? I do. Sheesh. Go back to your caves, you trolls. :P I had that happen on this story, if you go to the reviews you will probably see it where they literally insulted not just me, but my readers as well. That is unacceptable. Originally I was gonna let it slide. They clearly didn't read the story, they were just trolling. But then it hit me that they did insult my readers. I can't let that slide. For all your faults, whatever they may be, you guys have supported me here. That means something to me. I can't just let someone insulting you guys without even knowing any of you slide. You are beautiful people in your own right. And I feel like to be a good writer for you guys, I have to stand with you too. Whatever you guys may be going through, I believe in you, as you guys have believed in me for this story. *hugs you all* Together we could do amazing things! :D

That all being said, I did send them a message. Please everyone, don't go after this person. I want to handle this myself and we don't need things blowing up out of proportion. This is one of those things best left for me to handle on my own. Don't worry, I can handle myself.

 **Gwindoo:** Because of the nature of your review, I sent you a message response. If you got messages that were...overly mean or whatever from others, I apologize. Unless one of those were from my sister, then I don't apologize as she is rather protective of me. But I don't think she would go too far...maybe...possibly. If she did, I guess I apologize. XD But she is more mature than that, so yeah. Either way, I appreciate her sticking up for me. Same for my brother if he defended me as well.

 **Zen:** Haha. XD I have to admit your review made me laugh and amused me the rest of the night. However, let's try not to jump to conclusions. :P

 **Nina:** Yay! You're back! XD I'm glad you are still around. :) Glad you are enjoying my work too! Though, really? You get notes from them? I don't. Lol. They just let me do whatever I want. XD Though I mostly only use my Shouts when I feel like I need to, which mostly happens because I'm not much of a magic user beyond healing magic. XD That kinda saddens me, though. Do they not send me notes because I am not breaking their rules? Or do they just not care about me? :P

 **mia78:** Oh don't worry! I will continue this story! I still plan to write the full story and the prequel to it as well! :D

 **About** this scene... This one is a bit different from the other scenes. Because of the topic, I felt it appropriate to take our perspective away from my Dovahkiin for a bit. So, Astrid. Recall the cat topic? Recall that I mentioned there had been an incident involving the Dark Brotherhood? This is where the build up to that incident begins. I am not sure what my Dovahkiin is out doing, she may just be camping out for all I know as of this moment right now, but she is a member of the Stormcloaks and steadily gaining Ulfric's and Galmar's trust and friendship. Astrid is running survelliance on her, because she knows it would be foolish to go after the Dragonborn without a plan...

 **# 025 - Trouble Lurking**

In the dark of night, a being moved through the shadows, stalking their prey. They crouched in a bush and observed their target. She observed the woman as she tended a fish cooking over a fire. On the surface, the woman seemed perfectly calm, but Astrid recognized the signs of stress in her mannerisms easily enough. A lifetime of being an assassin for the Dark Brotherhood had taught her how to read people who didn't want to be read.

Why her target was stressed was a mystery to her. Did she know she was being watched? Astrid supposed that it could just be the responsibilities on the woman as dragonborn. When she had received word someone was calling for the dragonborn's life, she knew she'd have to handle this mission carefully, especially since the woman had already killed the scouts she had sent to assess her skills, when they had been considering recruiting the woman. One wrong move could have the Dark Brotherhood in shambles, well, even more so than it already was. But if they managed to take out the dragonborn, it would bring them into more notoriety.

But that was a ways off yet. Astrid was merely observing their target for now. She had been following her around for weeks and had learned quite a bit about her. The woman known as the dragonborn seemed to be from somewhere outside of Tamriel, though Astrid had no idea where that was. She was the leader of the Companions, a fact that made Astrid sneer. The members of the Companions often looked down on the Brotherhood and the sentiment was mutual. She hated the whole lot of them.

She had also discovered she had some connection with the rebellion, which also gave her a foul taste in her mouth. Astrid held no love for either side of the war, but she particularly disliked Ulfric after the man had put an end to one of their members' life. She would've gone after the man as well, but she had seen taking out one of his trusted advisors as a better form of revenge. And now she had a chance to take out one of his most trusted Stormcloaks. Through observation, she had noticed there was a bond between her target and the leader of the Stormcloaks. She doubted it was a romantic connection, she had noted the woman had that with a member of her Companions, though it didn't appear either of them admitted to such. Perhaps it was just close friendship, or perhaps it was a perceived familial relation.

Astrid shook her head, slowly grinning at the results killing the dragonborn would give. The Brotherhood would gain their former notoriety and she'd have her revenge on that blasted Stormcloak. She would kill two birds with one stone. But she would be a fool to go against the dragonborn alone. This was the person who had defeated Alduin, after all. No, she'd have to bide her time, gather as much information as possible and bring in the entire team for this.

But the time for retribution and fame was coming. And it would come soon.


	26. Topic 26: Dying

**A/N:** Well, the troll didn't respond. Not surprising, really. I didn't expect them to. It was worth a shot to try and explain to them that what they did was wrong, though, maybe find out why they are so bitter. But oh well. I tried.

Originally the topic I am using here was much later on in the list. But as I was doing last minute touches to the topic originally in this slot, I felt like it would make more sense to post this topic before that topic, so I did some maneuvering of topics to move this one to this slot and the one originally in this one to the next slot. The topic that had been after this slot takes the original slot of the scene. Kinda makes several topics in a row that are kinda sad and depressing, but might as well get them out of the way, right?

 **Manu:** (24) I know the Shout you are speaking of. You get it while going through the Main Quest line. I used it once while fighting a dragon. Didn't really help me much, but maybe I was using it wrong. *shrugs* Sanguine? I might involve A Night to Remember somehow. Not sure how to make it work, though. I will look into Sinding, I haven't done anything with him yet. (25) Astrid is very much up to no good.

 **Guest:** Thank you! And I don't love Astrid either. Lol. Not my favorite character for sure. :P

 **Nina:** Yup.

 **About** this scene... My Dovahkiin is at Hjeim with her adoptive child, relaxing and doing her best to hand down some of the life lessons she's learned throughout her life. It is here we find her when the Dark Brotherhood makes their move..

 **# 026 - Dying**

Maisha was cuddling up with her adopted mother, the Dragonborn herself. She was happy, and proud, that her adopted mother had taken time out her responsibilities to care for her. Right now, she was telling her some stories from her own childhood.

That was where she was when a group of people in black and red clothing broke into the house suddenly. Immediately her mother had leapt to her feet and pushed Maisha behind her.

"Run, Maisha," Crystal had said.

Maisha had initially fled to the other room. The assassins didn't seem too concerned with her, focused solely on her mother. She watched as Crystal fought hard, but she had been caught off guard in the safety of her own home. Her mother didn't have any of her armor on and the only weapon she had readily available was a small dagger, and he Thu'um of course. But she knew her mother wouldn't use her Voice for fear of catching the house on fire, causing any hope for her child to escape to dwindle.

The young khajiit watched in horror as her mother was beaten to an inch of her life, but kept fighting. As Crystal was fighting one, struggling to push him back, a woman moved through the shadows, coming up on her from behind.

Maisha didn't even stop to think. She remembered her mother speaking about how it was important to protect those she cared about. She had also said that Maisha was too young to worry about such things. But Maisha didn't want her mother to die. The world needed her more than the world needed Maisha. At least, that is how Maisha thought. After all, where would Skyrim be if the Dragonborn hadn't been here to save them from the dragon threat?

She moved as fast as her little feet could take her, leaping between her mother and the assassin just in time to take the dagger through the chest instead of Crystal. Her mother turned a moment after it happened, eyes wide and horrified as they fell on her adopted daughter.

"Maisha!" she said, tone full of horror. She caught the child as she fell backwards when the sword was removed from her chest. "Maisha…"

The world around her grew out of focus and all she could see was the child in her arms. She was wounded and barely standing as it was, but the emotional blow of watching her adopted daughter sacrifice herself to save her was the crippling wound.

"Maisha...oh my god, I'm so sorry," she said, holding her close. She knew that she likely was not able to be saved. Even so, her hand glew with healing magic as she tried anyways.

"It's ok...mom…" Maisha said weakly, lifting a hand to place on her mother's arm. "Thank you...for everything… I love you..."

"I love you too…" Crystal whispered.

"Aw, how sweat," one of the assassins said. "Don't worry, you will soon join her in death."

Crystal turned to glare at the assassin in anger. She made no movement to continue fighting, however. She was too injured to move and even if she wasn't, her grief froze her as she held her dying daughter in her arms. When she felt and saw the life completely leave Maisha, she merely hung her head and waited for the end to come from the being hovering behind and above her. It never did, however. A battleaxe struck the one right behind her in the side and the person holding immediately moved onto another. After he took down half the assassins, the other half fled.

A hand descended upon her shoulder and Crystal slowly looked up, expression desolate and heart broken. She was met with Galmar's worried stare. Without a word, the Nord gently took the dead child from her arms, telling her gently, and passionately, that they'd see to it Maisha received a proper burial and that the assassins will pay, but she needed medical attention immediately.

She didn't move, just sat there with arms still sitting as they were when they held Maisha. She stared at her empty hands, not really seeing them, in dejected horror. Her heart hurt and she felt on the verge of either a massive panic attack or such deep depression that she might never recover, or both.

He sighed and picked the small woman up in his arms, being careful not to make her injuries worse. He frowned when he was met with no resistance at all, no words of protest that she could walk on her own. She was silent and clinging to his armor as he carried her. She was shaking, whether it be from fear or grief he was not sure. He was only sure of one thing, her adopted child dying had broken her in a way he didn't think possible.

He hadn't thought much of her when Ralof had first introduced him to her when they found her drinking in the Hall. He didn't think much of her until she had defeated Alduin and achieved the initiative mission he had given her. She had been a key player for the Stormcloaks ever since she joined. Now, after everything she had done and the days of pouring over battle plans together with her and Ulfric and watching her interact with everyone who passed through, he thought it would be a waste if she died now. He honestly didn't know if they could win this war without her. After everything, he was starting to see her as family. He knew Ulfric viewed her as daughter and the leader of the Stormcloaks was like a brother to him, so he supposed that would make her a niece.

And the Dark Brotherhood would pay for making his niece suffer like this. He would make sure that instead of Crystal, it would be the assassins who were dying next.


	27. Topic 27: Tears

**A/N:** Hey! Look! A longer scene! XD About time, right? :P

Have you guys ever played a game you've played for years and then absolutely fall in love with a character all over again after they say something just so non-chalantly as if it's a perfectly normal thing to say and it puts a grin on your face? Yeah, that happened to me yesterday while playing Skyrim. I had Vilkas along with me and he said something tha just made my heart melt and I was like "Yesh! Vilkas is right choice!" XD I mean Galmar can make me grin like that too, but not in the same way. Lol. Galmar is like Skyrim's Ironhide. The rough, tough, weapon toting uncle you never had but wish you did. :P Kinda makes me think of Wrex and Drack too. Ha!

 **Arivania Moons:** You know, your username is a handful. Do you mind if I shorten it? :P Probably to "Ari". Anywho, weird on the notifications, but I have experienced that as well. I tend to favorite stories I want to keep up with, cause then I can just look on my profile and see what one's on top! Plus this story is being updated every other day, if that helps. Huh, that is a crazy coincidence. It was based on the fact that the first time I adopted a kid in Skyrim, they were shortly killed by an assassin that had broken into my house to try and kill me. Ugh! Skyrim, why you tragedy me so much? XD Glad you enjoyed it. :)

 **Guest1:** One word review that about sums up how most everyone feels. Yeshhh! XD

 **Guest2:** For some reason, fanfiction posted your review twice. Huh. And, yeah, sadness. :'( But don't worry! The Brotherhood will pay! ...In a much, much later topic... :D

 **Manu:** Every time I read your review I feel like we should be letting out a war cry and charging into battle. XD In due time. All in due time. :P

 **About** this scene...This takes place the next night after the last topic. My Dovahkiin is still healing from her wounds and is struggling to sort through her emotions. Ulfric comes along to help out a little, thankfully before she gets too deep into her self-loathing to ever come out of it again...

 **# 027 - Tears**

I curled up on the bed, sitting with my knees pulled tightly to my chest. I was staying in a room in the palace after the attempt on my life. The attempt that had almost succeeded, had come dangerously close to succeeding. If Galmar hadn't been coming to get me for a meeting, I probably would've fallen to the Dark Brotherhood last night.

I hadn't lost my life, but I had lost an important part of my life. Maisha, the Khajiit child I had adopted, had fought to save me. I had tried to tell her to run, to save herself, but she was determined to save me instead. She had leapt in front of the blade meant for me and it had pierced her chest before I even realized what was happening. It wasn't like it was the first time I lost someone to death, or even the first time I had witnessed death. But she had been my child, even if just adopted. She was my responsibility and one of few bits of happiness I had left. I loved her. And I failed her.

I felt tears rolling down my face and I didn't try to fight them, even when I heard the door open. I heard someone say something, but I was too focused on my grief to really know what they were saying. I just tightened my hold on my legs, sniffling pathetically. The loss had hit me hard and reminded me of all that I had lost already. I felt like I had nothing. Every emotion I had been burying ever since I was initially pulled from my home was bubbling to the surface, overwhelming all my senses and preventing me from being able to think clearly.

The bed shifted as whoever it was sat on the bed near me. A hand descended upon my knee I peered up to see Ulfric sitting there, a look of sympathy on his face. I dropped my head into my arms again as he sat there, providing silent support.

"She's gone….just like everyone else is gone…" I muttered. "My mom, my siblings, my friends...and now Maisha…..I suppose at least this time I can say goodbye...but still….everything that I care about….I always lose them….Why do I even bother caring? It only ends in people dying or being hurt or…" I choked on my words, fighting back a sob.

Ulfric's hand tightened on my knee.

"I can't even let my mom know I'm alive...I won't be there for her when she needs me...I won't even know when she's reached her time to die...and the same is true for all of my friends besides those I've made here and who knows if I even will be able to be here for them either….I can't even tell them how much I love them...it's too late….and I failed the one family I had here….she died to protect me...it was supposed to be the other way around…I'm just….I'm a failure, Ulfric….you should just let the Brotherhood get me….I can't let anyone else die for me...I'm not worth it…"

"No," he said, tone soft. "Don't think that. I know it is hard to believe it, but Maisha's death is not your fault. She sacrificed herself for you, because she thought you were worth it. Don't let her sacrifice go in vain."

I sniffled. "What's the point?" I asked quietly. "What's the point in fighting them if everyone I care about is just going to end up dead? Who's next? You? Vilkas? Galmar? Farkas? Aela? All of Skyrim? I can't do it, Ulfric...I don't think I can handle anymore heartache. I defeated the freakin' world eater and I couldn't even protect one kid. How am I supposed to protect Skyrim? How am I supposed to protect anyone? When I can't even protect my own child? My whole purpose for living is being called into question and I have nothing to defend it with…"

"Crystal," Ulfric said. "Your purpose is not in question. Your ability to succeed at it is not in question. Not by anyone but yourself. You are stronger than just giving up. Don't do this to yourself."

"Am I? I used to think so….my friends would remind me when I lost sight of that…" I said, though even as I spoke I was starting to believe him already. "But they aren't here to pick up the pieces anymore. I won't be getting a pep talk or lecture to remind me who I am from my best friends ever again. Because I made a choice that took them away from me forever… I mean...just talking with you now is helping, but...at the same time it makes me think of all the times they've dragged me back from the emotion pit hole that is my depression. It's always been a fight for me….and just when I think I am winning, suddenly everything falls apart and I'm given a legitimate reason to just wallow in sorrow. And instead of winning the fight, I have to struggle just to get back to a point I can fight again. I'm so tired of it, Ulfric….I'm tired of losing everything I care about...I'm tired of pain, I'm tired of depression, with or without a reason for it…I'm tired of putting my best foot forward and fighting as hard as I can and still watching it all fall apart...Sometimes, I wonder if I am even worth the breath I breathe. If everyone would be better off if I just….wasn't…or if anyone would even miss me….if anyone does… Cause, honestly, it is starting to feel like I am cursed….that people who get close to me are just gonna get hurt just because they know me and I will never be able to stop it not matter how hard I try...I'm not worth the effort people put into knowing me..."

"Of course you are worth it," Ulfric said, stopping my self-loathing rant. "And we will fight whatever demons or assassins wish to destroy what you fight so hard for."

"I don't want anyone else to die on my account, Ulfric," I said, tears filling and falling from my eyes as I looked up at him.

He gave me a look that was pained, as if seeing me this way physically caused him pain. He reached out and brushed tears from my eyes. "Crystal, you are like a daughter to me," he said. "I'm not going to let you go so easily. And you shouldn't either."

I took a shuddering breath, more tears falling and spilling over his hand. I bit my lip to stop it from quivering. Then, without warning, I shifted and crashed into Ulfric's chest, burying my face into his shirt. He hugged me tight, whispering words of comfort. I just let myself cry, taking in his words and the feeling of comfort he was providing me. I wondered if this was what it would've been like to have a dad who cared when I was growing up. If this was what it would've been to be held when I was scared or broken.

As we sat there, I felt my emotions evening out and the depression slowly transitioned to an anger. Well, it didn't immediately transition. In the course of a few moments my emotions fluctuated between complete heartbreak and intense fury. I hated them for killing Maisha. I hated myself more for not being able to stop it. I hated the circumstances that had brought me to this place. A stone cold determination began filling me that I wouldn't let anyone else die.

I knew from reputation that the Dark Brotherhood weren't going to give up. They never quit a job before it was finished and most considered being targeted by them to be a death sentence. If nothing was done to stop them, more people I cared about were going to die in their efforts to protect me. Or I would die not letting them die. Something in me shifted as I realized that and the sorrow was pushed aside.

Ulfric must've sensed the shift in emotion, as he pulled back a little, even as I did as well. I looked up at him with a fire in my eyes.

"Ulfric, I can't let anyone else die to protect me," I told him. " _I_ need to do something about them."

"And I believe you will," Ulfric agreed. He levelled me with a firm look, however. "But you are still recovering from your wounds. You are to stay here until you are healed. We will work on locating the Brotherhood. In the meantime, you are to remain in the Palace."

"Ulfric…" I began to protest, but he cut me off with a wave of his hand.

"No, Crystal," he said. "I will not have you running off and doing something reckless. We almost lost you last night. You are strong, but the Dark Brotherhood is full of skilled assassins."

"Assassins I've been picking off for a while now," I told him. When he gave me a questioning look, I sighed, sitting back on my feet. "This is not the first time they've attacked me. It's the first time they've attacked me with so much vigor and as a group, but they've sent their people after me once every few weeks ever since I defeated Alduin." My brow furrowed as I considered. "Those ones were never so...intense. This attack was...different than the previous ones." I shook my head.

"Either way," I took a deep breath. "I can't just sit here and wait, Ulfric. Everything I've heard about them says they don't give up. They're going to keep coming after me. If I just sit and do nothing, I'm just going to keep losing people. As I said, I am tired of losing people I care about. I need to do something to prevent it while I have a chance to do something. When I made the decision to take the job that took me from my family and friends, I felt like I was backed into a corner and that I didn't really have a choice in the matter….I have a choice here. I'm not going to make another decision that will lead to someone's death. I've got enough regrets, Ulfric. I won't turn this into another one."

"I understand," Ulfric said, placing a hand over my own. "But you need to go about this smart if you wish to come out of it alive. You need to heal before you do anything. You are to remain here at all times until we are ready to take the fight to them."

"Ulfric…" I began to protest, but he cut me off again.

"I will not have you running off on your own to handle this," Ulfric pointed a warning finger in my face. "Skyrim needs you as much as she needs the rest of us."

I sighed heavily. "Alright, fine," I told him. "But if anyone dies doing this…."

"They won't," Ulfric promised. "We will make sure of that. Together."

I sighed again. "Why does everything sound possible when you say it like that?" I smirked a little bit.

Ulfric returned the smirk before standing to his feet. "Get some rest," he told me. "You're gonna need it."

"Right," I shook my head, still not really happy with the agreement. But what could I do? "You better tell me when you've found them, Ulfric. Remember, I trust you...if you break that trust…." I shot him a serious look.

"I understand," Ulfric told me, returning the look with an equally, if not more so, serious look in his eyes. "You needn't worry so much."

"It's hard not to," I told him honestly. "If you were to betray my trust, you'd hardly be the first. Somedays, I feel like it is just inevitable after all I've been through."

His expression became sympathetic. "I promise you, Crystal. You will not regret trusting me."

I bowed my head to him, acknowledging his words. "Right back at you."

He smiled slightly before turning and leaving the room. He paused in the doorway and looked back at me. "My room is the one right across the hall and Galmar is right down the hall," he said. "If you need anything, or if anything happens, don't hesitate to call."

I nodded. "Thank you, Ulfric," I replied. "For everything."

He smiled at me before completely leaving this time. Once he was gone and the door was shut, I turned to look out the window, but found doing so only made me anxious. I laid down to try to get some sleep instead, but found myself wide awake through the whole night. I wished Vilkas was here. Usually I was ok, but I had found having the Nord around gave me a sense of peace and security that no one else seemed to provide. I certainly couldn't provide that feeling on my own, especially after the attack.

I sighed heavily as I laid, staring at the ceiling. This was going to be a long few days as my body recovered.


	28. Topic 28: Sorrow

**A/N:** You know what I hate? Insomnia. It sucks. Since I was having an insomniatic night the other night, I actually spent some time watching movies. That was nice at least. Too bad I couldn't go out for a run or walk to spend my energy up and then sleep, but, you know, not exactly an option around here. Lol. But at least them Marvel movies are great!

 **Aria:** I think it is unrealistic that someone going through a bunch of crap would just pop right back up and be fine again. I've lost friends. It takes a while to get anywhere close to normal again after something like that. I try to portray my characters through every stage, sometimes even doing something they usually wouldn't do during their recovery. Such as seeking to absolutely destroy those responsible, drinking when they don't usually even touch alcohol, or sit around and do nothing.

 **Manu:** Yup! Ulfric is definitely the father figure. :P Vilkas is indeed so lovely. :3 Don't worry! They will get romantic moment soon! Timeline wise, they do have some moments in the weeks following the attack, though that won't be explored until later. In a couple more topics they will have one. ;)

 **Nina:** Thanks! Glad you like the way I portray him. :) And don't worry! Crystal does have good moments! She's just gotta fight for those moments a lot. :P Vilkas is see easy to fall for, isn't he? XD Once upon a time ago, I liked Farkas more, but the more I spend time in game with Vilkas, the more I realize he is the better fit for both me and my Dragonborn. :3

 **About** this scene... This scene takes place probably the same day my Dovahkiin arrives in Windhelm. It's been a little while since she left Whiterun after Kodlak's death, she had made a stop in Riften but realized life there was too busy and tense to be conducive for her with the Thieves Guild and the Black-Briars around. So she came to Windhelm after that, which we all know from a previous topic. This is her first night there and her emotions had only grown more unstable during her time in Riften and that made it hard for her to process through them and to think clearly. Desperate to find some sense of normalcy, she tries a tactic she usually wouldn't...

As a note, this is the last in the trail of sad and depressing topics. Next topics will be happier, I promise!

 **# 028 - Sorrow**

I sat at the bar, drinking some mead. I didn't usually drink, but I didn't feel like it really mattered. And no one was around me to know any better, that I hated drinking and hated being drunk. I was, admittedly, wallowing in my sorrow. I had lost everything, found myself in an unfamiliar place and just when I was making a home and beginning to recover, the man who was acting like a mentor to me gets killed. And then I'm expected to fill his shoes, but I felt like I wasn't doing a very good job of it.

The argument could be made that I was doing just fine, but my mind couldn't see it. My mind hasn't quite processed properly ever since Kodlak died. That was why I was in Windhelm at the moment. I had to take a step back to slow down and allow my emotions to flow and processes to work. I had to sort out my depression, emotions and mental processes before I could hope to be able to fulfill my role properly. I hadn't even stuck around after curing Farkas and Vilkas of their lycanthropy. It wasn't like me to cut and run and I had only done so further by running away like this. And I was only falling further from myself by drinking like this, but I was sinking into a state of not giving a damn.

I was afraid. I couldn't let myself get close. I didn't deserve their thanks or their friendship. I didn't deserve this second chance I had been given. I had made the choice that took me away from my home. I had made that decision based on half-truths and incomplete information. I should've known better. I kept screwing up my own life. How was I supposed to lead the Companions? Besides, what's stopping them from leaving me too? What's stopping me from being taken from them too?

"Well, look who the cat dragged in!"

I barely even twitched at the familiar voice as Ralof took a seat next to me. I glanced over at him and saw another man sitting on his other side who wore a bear on his head. I turned back to the drink I was drinking.

"I thought you didn't drink," Ralof said, motioning toward my mead.

"Tch," I scoffed slightly. "Ah do'na care right now, t'be honest." It seemed drink made my accent show heavily, though I usually reigned it in a lot.

He seemed to share a look with his friend before turning back to me. He reached over and took my mead, drinking it all himself. I just stared at him in shock.

"Wha...that was….Ralof!" I protested, smacking him in the shoulder.

"Ah, lass, you are too small to be drinking so much mead! I thought you'd rather keep your wits about you!"

"Hmph," I glared at him. "Always tease meh abou' meh heigh'." I grumbled.

Ralof chuckled as his friend laughed. "Anyways, what brings you to Windhelm? Surely not to drown yourself in mead." He dangled the now empty mug in front of my face. "Have you come to join the Stormcloaks?"

"Ah still don' dink Ah would be much help t'ya," I said, a shadow passing over my eyes. "No, Ah'm not. Dough Ah have considered it."

"So what's stopping you?" Ralof's friend asked.

I glanced over at him, then shot Ralof a look.

"Ah, this is Galmar," Ralof introduced. "He is Ulfric's right hand man. You remember Ulfric, don't you? From Helgen?"

I nodded, biting my lower lip. "Did he…?"

"He is fine," Ralof answered.

I let out a sigh of relief. "At least there's that," I muttered. "He seem like a good guy."

"That he is, lass," Ralof said. He turned to Galmar. "This is Crystal, the girl I told you about who helped us escape."

"Ah," Galmar said. "From what I hear, you put up quite a fight."

I scoffed again. "Yeah, if barely making it through and freezing from fear of blood counts as a fight," I grumbled.

Ralof raised an eyebrow at me. "But you fought through that," he said. "And took out your fair share of soldiers…."

"Bah," I interrupted him. "If Ah was s'good, Kodlak woul'na be dead.."

"Kodlak? The leader of the Companions?" Galmar asked. "You know him?"

I nodded. "He was somewhat of a mentor to me….'til he died…"

"So that's why you're in here, drinking mead," Ralof said in realization. "What happened?"

I glanced at him, hesitating slightly. I then stared at the water I had been given upon Ralof's request. "Ah donna know if ya know, but some of da Companions are...were...werewolves…" I started to explain. "Includin' da ol' man. He was looking for a way ta cure himself, and those who also wished to be cured….he was close...and he sent meh ta fetch ah require' 'iece of da puzzle….when Ah returned….the Silver Hand had attacked our 'ome..."

"They attacked them at their home?!" Galmar asked. "They had some gall for that!"

"Yeah, well, it wasna unprovoked…." I muttered, remembering how Aela had been waging her own little war on them over Skjor's death. I sighed heavily. "Kodlak was a'ready dead when Ah got there….and da fragments of Wuuthrad...dey took 'em too."

"Did you avenge him, at least?" Galmar asked.

I nodded. "We took 'em alllll out," I said. "An' den Eorland shoved Wuuthrad into meh hands and told meh to fulfill Kodlak's wishes….to honor his desire to cure himself. Vilkas said da cure would work even afta death...so da two of us lead da Companions to Ysgramor's burial site and cured Kodlak."

"So why're you here and not there?" Ralof asked.

"Because…" I said. "Ah'mna in any condition ta be wa dey wanna me….I...I dunno...Ah'm just…" I was lost in sorrow is what I was, but I didn't know how to tell them that.

Ralof patted my back. "You need some time," he came to a conclusion on his own.

"Yeah," I said quietly. "This isna da first time such ah ding has happen' to meh….but it never gets any easier….Ah just….I need to process… an' Ah haven' ha' da chance ta slow down ta do so..."

"Well, just make sure you don't do anything stupid," Ralof said. "And don't let me catch you drinking again. You told me last we met that if I catch you breaking your personal rules to kill you."

I chuckled, shaking my head. "Did Ah say dat?"

"Maybe not such a dramatic request," Ralof shrugged. "But you did say that if you were drinking something was going wrong with your head." He poked the side of my head and I grunted.

"Perhaps," I felt and heard the growl that escaped with my response. "Otay, otay, Ah won' drink 'gain."

"Besides, last I want to hear about is you getting yourself in a bind via a drunken rage," Ralof said. "You've already nearly been beheaded once!"

"Yeah, stupid Imperials," I said. "Ah didna even do anythin'! Just stumbled into dir camp and dey were like 'You must be a spy!'" I shook my head.

"How much did you drink before we got here?" Ralof asked.

"A mug and what was missing from the one you took….why?"

"Because you've sounded drunk this whole time," Ralof answered.

"Oh...dat explains da weird feeling in meh head," I said, laying my head down on the counter.

"Gods, Crystal! You're a mess!" Ralof said.

"That's me! The messiest mess of all messes!" I declared, holding a hand up without lifting my head. "Just call me Crystal, da Mess dat kips gettin' Messier!"

Galmar and Ralof laughed at me before Ralof got to his feet. "Let's get you somewhere you can sleep this off."

"Ah'm fine!" I protested as he tried to pull me to my feet.

"You're drunk, Crystal," he said.

"Am I?" I asked. "Being drunk feels weird."

"It tends to when you aren't used to it, lass," Ralof said, hauling me to my feet. I stumbled a bit, but he kept me upright. "I'll be right back, Galmar. I gotta make sure this one doesn't get hurt in this state."

"Do what you gotta do, Ralof," Galmar replied. "I'll be seeing you."

"G'bye Bear man, person," I said, waving at him.

Ralof dragged me away, leaving his friend to chuckle at the night's events.


	29. Topic 29: Happiness

**A/N:** I had the weirdest dream last night. Now I want to wander around the Palace of Kings and High Hrothgar to see if the location in my dream is even a place. XD The dream was both beautiful and strange at the same time. I'm not sure what to make of it.

 **Aria:** Who could take me or my Dovahkiin seriously when drunk? XD The abnormality of it makes even things that make sense sound ridiculous! Lol.

 **Guest:** (27) Thank you! (28) Is it? XD

 **About** this scene...This is a scene I'm not one hundred percent sure will make it into the final product. It's weird and random and reminds me too much of my old style of writing. I have no idea exactly where it is placed either, just that it's gotta be after the Dark Brotherhood incident sometime. Probably before the topics with Naomi in them in the end. Not exactly sure. The details of the scene are that a Q, not the one Crystal had made a deal with, appeared claiming o have a solution for keeping my Dovahkiin from being dragged through realities again. While I will be having a solution be found, I am not sure I will use another Q to find it for them and even if I do, this scene will likely be different in the final product. In hindsight, I could've done a different scene for this topic, but oh well...

 **# 029 - Happiness**

I crossed my arms, considering the woman who stood in front of us. We stood in the Underforge of the Companions, Ulfric and Galmar accompanying us as we were discussing the problem I faced with Q and the two were determined to help me thwart it. This woman was claiming to have a solution for us, but before she would help, she wanted me to answer a question. The catch to it was that as I answered, those around me would be given glimpses into my past. I wouldn't be able to control what they saw, I would have to allow myself to completely vulnerable.

"Why should we believe that you have a counteraction to Q?" I asked. "He's...Q…"

"He is Q and I am Q," the woman said. "It is not just a name, it is a species. The Q you speak of has broken the laws by messing with your life so much, and he continues to break our laws. It is unfortunate you cannot return to your home, you should feel free to make a new home here, in Skyrim, with your friends, without fear he may meddle again."

"That's one thing we can all agree on," Aela said, shifting her weight onto one leg. She looked at me. "I may not always agree with you, but you deserve to be happy."

I sighed a bit. "Ok," I relented. "But why can't you just, I dunno, imprison him? Or kill him?"

"A Q cannot die," she replied. "It would fray the very fabric of the multi-verse. And have you ever tried to imprison a near all-powerful being?"

I crossed my arms. "Only God is all powerful."

She gave a soft smirk. "Always the one to point out the obvious," she said. "But those of the council are close. And Qs are as close as a non-divine can get. Only the divines would be able to imprison him. But they do not wish to take away the freedoms of their creations."

I gave a long suffering sigh. "Ok… What is the question?"

The woman looked at me a moment. "What is happiness to you?"

"Happiness?" I crossed my arms and thought for a moment. "That is...a complicated question. Happiness is...a number of things."

"Perhaps you should enlighten us," Q said.

I let out another sigh as I looked up to the ceiling, not seeing it, but seeing past it to memories.

"Happiness is spending time with family, just being silly with them or serious…"

 _As a child, I wandered around a zoo, simultaneously holding a water fight with my mom, grandmother and brother as well as looking at the exhibits. I spent an extra long time at the wolf enclosures._

 _Another scene appeared of my sister and I walking along a beach, as adults. More like dancing along it as we sang the most random of songs we could think of. Just a day where we were just existing as sisters, being as silly as we dared be._

"Playing games with my friends…"

 _I sat in a chair, in front of a screen, headset on as I spoke with my friends as our characters fought virtual monsters. I was laughing as we told jokes and watched as some of our enemies just jumped to their own deaths._

 _Another scene as I sat at a table with one of my best friends and his family, playing card games and laughing at each other._

"It's realizing that it doesn't matter what happened in the past...you can always make friends out of enemies…"

 _I ran into someone I hadn't seen for years once. Briefly it flashed to the days they used to bully me. This encounter, however, was nothing but pleasant. We talked a bit, caught up, apologized for past mistakes, shared a mutual understanding of how hard life was, offered support to each other and moved on._

"It's finding out that you have a friend who will, and can, bring you back from the brink…"

 _I was curled up on a floor, tears rolling freely from my face. My computer sat in front of me, the words "She is dead" glaring accusations at me all I was seeing, hearing. One of my best friends appeared next to me and I looked up at him. He asked what was wrong and I told him. One of my best friends, one I saw as a sister, was dead. He didn't even hesitate before motioning for me to stand and then he pulled me into a long hug. Before long my other best friend showed up and after being filled in, gave me a hug of her own, a longer one. The two proceeded to spend the entire week making sure this vacation of ours was as fun as possible, to keep me away from the edge._

 _The scene of Vilkas talking sense into me appeared too, followed by when Ulfric was comforting me after Maisha's death._

"It's working hard at something and seeing it result in something good…"

 _I was making a video. Not just any video. It was a thank you video. I was grinning and expressing how happy I was that people took interest in my work, that I was able to make people happy, if only for a short while. I was so happy that something I was doing was finally paying off after what felt like a lifetime of failure._

 _I returned from defeating Alduin to find myself at the Throat of the World. Dragons were flying around, celebrating the end of the World Eater's tyranny. Paarthunax announced he was going to try to convince all the dragons to follow his way of piece. A number of dragons stopped to thank me and to promise they would leave humans, and other mortals, alone. Not all, but at least some of them would reframe from attacking the people down below. When I returned down to the world I had grown to call home, a sense of fear had lifted, not gone entirely, but lighter._

"It's doing something difficult and failing repeatedly, eventually to come out on top….especially if you succeed without lowering the difficulty…"

 _I was recording a video for my youtube. I was having a particularly hard time with this game. I was constantly low on health and ammo and being thrown into bad situations. Constantly I was hitting situations where I thought I could save people, only for them to die anyways even when I did. It was one of the hardest games I had ever played for the sheer emotional torture it had put me through. I died repeatedly and got frustrated and angry a lot. Finally, I triumphed over the main baddie—I had continued playing the game mostly to take them out for all the shit they had done. I watched the screen, not quite believing it was really over, but after a few more moments the credits began rolling. I placed my controller on the desk and threw my hands in the air, cheering my victory to the heavens._

 _I struggled through the fight against the Dragon Priest on the way to pursue Alduin. I was having a very difficult time with it. In fact, I got more of my injuries from this pursuit from this priest than I did from Alduin himself. Eventually, injured and bleeding, tired and feeling half beaten, I got the final shot off with my bow. I had ignited the arrow in order to do more damage and it hit him in the head. When it fell, I threw my hands up, exclaiming that it was about time, before falling to my butt to tend to my wounds before continuing._

"It's finding out that I don't have to feel alone or lost anymore…"

 _I found myself surrounded by people who care when I moved to Upstate and began going to my friend's church. I was loved, I was appreciated, I was allowed to get involved and was recognized for it, I wasn't brushed off when I spoke anymore, what I said mattered and meant something to people. When it was time for me to move on again, there were hugs and good wishes and people saying they'd miss me and goodbye celebrations._

 _I joined the Companions and under Kodlak's guidance slowly began to form a life in Skyrim. I grew to believe that maybe, just maybe, I could call the Companions my family and friends. Eventually, despite Kodlak's death, I was able to do just that. Then I joined the Stormcloaks and found more family among their number. Skyrim was becoming my home and her people my friends and family. I was starting to find myself again and despite still missing all of what I lost terribly, I knew I wasn't alone in life. It was hard and a constant struggle, but not one I was alone in fighting. Not anymore. I was starting to find that happiness, that joy that I had lost, regained, lost again in an endless cycle my whole life and I had hope I could hold onto it this time. A hope that would be tried and tried again, that would no doubt continue to be tried the rest of my life, but it was hope. And I'd do my best not to let that die._

"It is all those things….and more...I can't really think of how else to say it...nothing else seems even remotely explainable…" I hesitated as I ended off. "I remember the feeling I had whenever I gained even one subscriber, one follower, on youtube. I was always so happy and I remember thinking that I never wanted to lose that. That happiness that people cared to watch my stuff, that they liked my stuff, that I managed to make people happy when they watched my videos, that the number grew at all. And then that happiness bled into everything else, my life took a turn and I no longer felt like I was throwing myself at it only to be constantly knocked down. It was a breakthrough for me...when I lost it, I feared I'd never find that happiness again….and then I met all of you and over time, that happiness has slowly been creeping back." I smiled, grinning almost. "So, I guess, happiness is those people who surround me right now. Friends willing to stand by me in my time of difficulty and unsureness."

"Your feelings are genuine," Q smiled. "I can see why you were able to build a community around you."

I smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of my head as my friends all smiled.

"And don't forget when this is over," she continued. "You deserve to find that happiness that you never had."

"Hm," I hummed, tapping my toe on the ground. I still questioned that. "What's this solution you have?"

"It will take some preparation," she said, moving forward and calling up a map of Skyrim. She began explaining the steps we would have to take to ensure this worked.


	30. Topic 30: Under the Rain

**A/N:** You know that moment when you wish you could go to an alternate universe just for a week? No? Is that just me? XD My mom and her boyfriend are going to Florida for a week so I will be home alone for that timespan. In the ghetto of one of the most drug infested towns of Ohio. With a next door neighbor who is a well known drug dealer that the police are fed up with cause they can never seem to get him to be kept in jail longer than a day or two. Not sure how. When everyone knows he does illegal crap. I am pretty sure I smelled him cooking drugs one night when I got back from visiting a friend. How have they not gotten evidence on this guy? Seriously...

 **Aria:** I'm glad you liked it. :) I actually have that question of yours answered in one of the topics. :)

 **Manu:** (28) Thank you! (29) Don't worry! She will! Skyrim is amazing. I think if I had to pick a universe to live besides our own, Skyrim would be in the top of the list of places for me to choose from.

 **Guest:** Companions are indeed family. :) I'm glad you think it was a good part.

 **mia78:** Thanks! :D I'm glad you enjoy it so far!

 **About** this scene... This scene takes place, like, right after Vilkas and Crystal accomplish whatever task it is that prevents my Dovahkiin from being able to be ripped from world to world. She no longer has to worry about whether it will happen or not. It's raining, but she doesn't care.

 **# 030 - Under the Rain**

I stood, looking out at the world from the edge of the mountain we were on. I didn't even care that it was raining fairly heavily. I was just relieved. Relieved that I would never have to worry about Q uprooting my life ever again. We had finally found a solution. It wasn't the solution I had expected, but it worked. It didn't matter that I no longer had the option to go to other realities, universes or whatnot. I was safe to have my own life here. I still missed Earth, I still missed my family, friends, youtube community. But I was never going to regain those things anyways. I should be allowed to keep what I had now.

"You'll catch a cold standing out here," Vilkas said, walking up and putting a hand on my shoulder.

"I don't care," I said, taking in a deep breath. "I'm just….soaking in the fact I don't have to be afraid anymore. I can be free to live my life."

"You are free," Vilkas agreed. "It's definitely cause for celebration. The others will want to hold one." He wrapped an arm around my shoulders.

I leaned into him. "Probably," I agreed. I hesitated a moment before speaking again. "So now that I'm free…" I trialed off a little and fidgeted. "...you remember the talk we had about marriage and relationships?"

"Yes," Vilkas said. He pulled me closer and ducked his head to where his mouth was right by my ear. "I've been waiting for this moment to ask more."

I blushed furiously, wondering if he was going to the same place I was. "Oh?"

"Would you consider me?" he asked.

"For marriage?" I asked, glancing sideways and up at him.

"If you'll have me," he replied, bringing a hand up to gently run his fingers across my chin.

I blushed a little more, his little touches meaning so much more suddenly, than they had before. Had he always wanted to ask this? I swallowed, suddenly nervous. "W-well, I-I'm not ready for marriage yet," I said. "But I wouldn't be opposed to courting."

"So, you intend to marry me?" Vilkas asked, smirking at me.

I smiled shyly. "Well, if you would have me," I said. "Needs to be a two-way street, or it won't work."

"Oh, I'd say it's a two-way street," Vilkas said.

As we stood there, under the barrage of the rain, he leaned forward and locked his lips with mine. I kissed him back easily, not even having to debate. It was my first kiss in the sense that it was the first time I had returned or given a kiss. He wrapped both his arms around me, holding me close, and I never felt any safer, or happier, than I felt when I was in his arms in that moment.


	31. Topic 31: Flowers

**A/N:** I am so, so close to being done writing these topics. And then I can get to work on the prequel and full story! I have also decided to pick my novel back up and work on it regularly again. I feel like I know why I have had such a hard time writing it now and that knowledge drives to write on it again from a different angle. It requires a bit of rewriting, but that is ok. There always first drafts to every book ever written. All the good ones anyways. Lol. I'm excited about it again! :D

 **Aria:** XD I'm glad you like these two together so much! It's been a long time since a pairing felt so natural to me. :) And the scene I spoke of will be posted in the future, within the next ten topics actually.

 **Manu:** Glad you think so! Thanks! And don't worry! You'll at least get glimpses as them as a couple. :3 You'll see more once I get the full story going as well.

 **Guest:** Aw thanks! :D

 **Nina:** He was. Lol. Vilkas is one of the more romantic characters I feel. :3

 **About** this scene... This scene takes place around two weeks after my Dovahkiin first joins the Companions. She is the training stages, obviously, and has only been on easy fetch quests for them as she is not ready yet to handle more dangerous tasks. I've always believed that it makes no sense how fast they send you to fetch the fragment so that they must leave out part of the story and have some kind of time skip programmed into the storyline. It'll be a few months in that they send her off to Dustman's Cairn with Farkas, I think. Anyways, in this scene, my Dovahkiin is tending the flowers to try and relax after a hard night. Shortly, she is joined by Kodlak, who has some advice for her...

 **# 031 - Flowers**

I whistled slightly as I tended to the flowers outside Jorrvaskr. It was early morning and no one else seemed to be up yet, but I was having trouble sleeping. I had woken in the middle of the night from a nightmare and just couldn't get back to sleep. I had been sitting just outside ever since and now that there was the beginning of light, I was picking dead pieces off the flowers so they could grow better.

"You're up early."

I glanced over my shoulder to see Kodlak approaching. My eyes widened slightly and I stood, slightly flustered and gave him a salute. "Kodlak!"

He chuckled and motioned me to put my hand down. "No need for that, young one."

I blushed slightly and slowly lowered my hand. "Sorry, reflex..."

"It's perfectly fine," he said, placing a hand on my shoulder. "What are you doing here?"

I glanced back at the flower bush. "I was picking off the dead leaves and buds, so the rest could gain more nutrients and grow better," I told him.

"Ah, I see," Kodlak said, looking to the flower bushes as well. "Flowers grow better when they don't have dead weight holding them back."

"Yeah," I said.

"You know, the same is true for people," he said.

"What do you mean?" I asked, looking at him in both curiosity and suspicion.

"You have been with us for but a fortnight, but it has already become apparent that you carry heavy burdens," Kodlak said. "You keep everyone at a distance, yet I can see it in your eyes that you wish to call them your friends. But you stay away because you fear the past will repeat itself."

"Am I so obvious?" I asked, looking away and to the ground.

"It is written all over your mannerisms," Kodlak said.

"So what do I do? I can't forget the past...and my life is full of repeats...it is hard to believe it won't just happen again," I said.

"You need to let the past be the past, my child," Kodlak told me, hand on my shoulder tightening slightly. "Let the burdens of the past die out and fall away, so that you can gather the nutrients of the present and grow as a person. Just as these flowers you tend will grow once they are shed of their dead baggage."

I considered the flowers for a minute. "If only it were so easy for people as it is for flowers," I said quietly.

"We are here for you, Crystal," Kodlak said. "The Companions are a family, if only you let us in."

I looked at him, searching his face to determine his sincerity. His eyes were full of understanding and compassion. I bit my lip. "I will try."

"That is all I ask," he assured me. He pat my back before moving to tend to the flowers as well. "Come, let us finish this task you set to, shall we?"

I blinked at him momentarily before returning to my self-imposed task, now with him at my side. We spoke some more, over the flowers. About the flowers. About life and personal beliefs. He even managed to get me to open up about the nightmares I had been having and why I was keeping everyone at arm's length. I even told him about the fact I was from another world, a story I was surprised when he said he believed me.

"I have a knack for knowing when someone is lying," he said with a chuckle when I expressed my surprise to know he believed me.

I smiled a bit awkwardly, filing that bit of information away for later reference. Even with that revelation, though, I found it easy to speak with Kodlak. I hated lying anyways, so the fact he could detect lies was just a side note for me. By the end of the conversation, we were done with the flowers and I was beginning to think I might've found where I belonged after all.


	32. Topic 32: Night

**A/N:** Ok two things...one, don't ever consume lots of sugar after midnight. You will regret it the next day, guaranteed. I really should know better! I used to do that waaayyy too much! Though in my loopyness I buried Ulfric with food, it was surprisingly entertaining and hilarious...of course that might be the loopyness speaking. XD

Two, if you guys ever have jury duty, don't ever refuse to convict someone based on race and ignore all the evidence. People who do that are just as bad as the criminals they are refusing to convict. Base your verdict on the evidence! Nothing else. The evidence and the letter of the law. Not personal beliefs, not the defendant's race or age. Especially not on if you know the defendant! If you know the defendant you are supposed to step down from the jury(not that people follow that rule *grumbles*). Also, if it is not a unaminous vote make sure they call it a mistrial, because that is what it is. Don't let that one person who refuses to acknowledge the evidence control the result of the trial! I watched a documentary about the real NCIS yesterday and in the trial one woman, who admitted to this afterward, refused to convict two of the men involved in a double murder simply because of their age and race even though they even admitted to being involved! As a result those two didn't get convicted for all that they should've been. One got convicted of kidnapping because she didn't realize kidnapping meant jail time(side note here, how do you expect to not get jail time for kidnapping?), but she wouldn't even let the other get convicted for that once she knew that. The only reason the last guy is in jail is because he had a separate trial for the theft of a car the group had stolen prior to doing the murder, and he will be out at a young enough age I might just be investigating another murder he is involved in, I don't expect a guy as evil as this bunch to change. I could go on about not murdering people, especially not just for the hell of it like these evil people, but I am assuming you all have some common sense to blatantly ignore the law like that. The documentary mostly pissed me off because of that woman in the jury and the fact the rest of the jury let her control the outcome of the trial! As a future investigator, I can't imagine going in a courtroom for a trial of people I *know* committed a murder and hearing the words "not guilty" repeated over and over. Much less being the mothers of the victim(s)! It's terrible...People...don't ignore the freakin' evidence to push your stupid political values!

Ok, anyways...on another note...I have eleven subscribers on my youtube now! Woot! :D

 **Guest:** Kodlak was great. He was very grandfatherly. :)

 **Nina:** Indeed he would've. :3

 **About** this scene...My Dovahkiin is up late at night, sitting outside and looking at the stars, again. Aela and Skjor decide to take her on their hunt with her, minus any werewolf activity they usually do. This takes place probably a few days after Flowers.

 **# 032 - Night**

"You seem to be up late a lot," Aela said, approaching me with Skjor just behind her. "Do you have no concept of night?"

I chuckled slightly, running my hand through my hair awkwardly. "I don't sleep well," I replied. "Where I come from, the day didn't end just cause sunlight did...even so, I was always up later than what was considered normal or healthy." I paused a moment. "What about you two?"

"We were just going out for a nighttime hunt," Skjor answered.

"Ah," I shifted awkwardly. "Good luck with that."

Aela grinned. "You could come with us."

I blinked at her in surprise, not expecting the invitation. I considered it for a moment, to leave Jorrvaskr at this hour. It was something I'd have to get used to anyway and it was probably best to get used to it with others by my side. "If I would not be imposing," I decided to answer. "I wouldn't wish to rob you of...bonding time….wait...that sounded weird out loud." I made a face.

Aela laughed. "You're an odd one," she said. She motioned with her head. "Come on. We should go while the moon is high."

I looked to Skjor to see if he had any protests. He nodded to me in approval to tag along. I gave him a small smile before following after Aela, Skjor following right behind. As we walked through Whiterun, I felt on edge, watching the nightlife around as if something was going to jump out and attack. As if sensing my unease, Aela fell back to walk next to me.

"So," she started and I focused in on her, anything to distract my overactive imagination from my fears. "Kodlak says you're from another world."

I tensed slightly. "Yeah," I admitted after some hesitation. "I probably sound insane, though, I know. I don't make a habit of telling people about it."

"I don't blame you," she said. "I wouldn't tell anyone either. But you can trust us."

"Trust is earned and I haven't seen it yet," I said, fiddling a little. "But I will in time. It's just….hard to trust. I mean you guys all seem trustworthy….but I have been fooled before, so yeah."

"We understand your caution," Skjor spoke up. "We would lie if we said we trust you as of yet."

I sighed. "I'd worry if you did," I grinned slightly, glancing back at him.

"So, did you have anything like the Companions where you come from?" Aela asked, moving the topic on.

"Um," I considered the question a while. "Not that I was aware of. I'm not sure how a group like the Companions would've been received in my world. Depends upon the time, I suppose. I lived in a politically turbulent time. Such a group popping up would probably cause a political shit storm, if I were to be honest. The country was so divided on such things."

"You clearly approve of the Companions if you wish to be one of us," Aela said.

I nodded. "I do, a lot of my friends would," I said. "But I knew just as many who would call you ruffians and murderers simply for owning, and using, weapons."

"That's foolish," Skjor scowled.

"Such are people who believe the general public should be without ways of protecting themselves. Or believe a mad man with a gun could one hundred percent of the time be stopped by...bean bags." I made a face. "And they failed to recognize the stupidity of the idea. Making weapons illegal would not prevent criminals from owning them."

"People actually believed that?" Aela asked.

"Yeah," I nodded. "I always thought it was stupid. If you just take weapons from the people, you leave them vulnerable to...god only knows how bad it could get. But you couldn't count on police always being there in time, it was impossible. Often times they'd get there too late and someone would be dead or kidnapped or…" I trailed off a little, biting my lip.

Aela placed a hand on my shoulder. "Touchy subject?"

I nodded. "Anyways, I always vowed to myself that in the event something happened….I'd protect my family, my friends...even strangers if they were who I was around at the time. Luckily, I never had much cause for it, but I felt better when I got to a place I knew I could."

"I don't blame you," Aela said. "It sounds like you'll fit right in with us." She grinned.

I smiled awkwardly at her. "I never fit in anywhere," I told her, though my tone was full of humor.

"Alright, whelp," Aela said as we exited Whiterun. "Let's see how well you hunt."

With that, she took off at a run. I blinked in surprise, but didn't stop to question as I ran after her. "Hey! Wait up!"

"Gotta keep up!" Skjor said as he quickly overtook me.

I growled and pushed myself to catch up to them. I wasn't able to catch up, but I was able to keep them within my sight. I pushed off the ground with each step, pushing my muscles as hard as I could.

Eventually they stopped in the middle of some trees and I caught up with them a few minutes later, panting heavily. They smirked, though whether they were enjoying my pain or impressed I didn't completely lose track of them, it was hard to tell.

"You guys are fast," I breathed.

"Not so bad yourself," Aela said. "Though we need to work on that stamina of yours."

"Yeah," I said. I made to stand up straight, but flinched and bent over again, holding my side as a sharp pain shot through it.

Skjor and Aela frowned, sharing a look. "Are you ok, whelp?" Skjor asked.

I waved a hand as I grimaced. "Fine, fine," I said, trying to focus on slowing my breathing. I took shallower breaths, slowing them just to the point I was still getting enough oxygen, and tried again to rise. It was still painful, but I managed it, heart pounding rapidly.

"Are you sure? You look in an awful lot of pain…" Aela said, seeming to have second thoughts.

"Eh, it's just an old injury acting up," I said. "I'll be fine in a minute or two. What're we hunting?"

Skjor grinned then. "Snipes," he said.

I blinked at him. "Are you talking about the bird, or the imaginary creature immature brats would trick their kid brothers with?"

Aela laughed. "You have a mouth on you! I think I like you!"

Skjor rolled his eyes.

It turned out, they had been trying to pull a trick on me, snipes didn't exist at all in Skyrim. After that, we enjoyed the night by hunting some deer and elk to bring back to Jorrvaskr to resupply the food stock. It was the best night I had had in a long time. I didn't do as well as Skjor and Aela, but that didn't surprise me, or really bother me much at all. It was nighttime and I did require glasses after all. My eyesight just wasn't as good as theirs.


	33. Topic 33: Expectation

**A/N:** Getting to college when the college is rather expensive and you have no money is hard and stress inducing. But I shall not give up! There has to be a way!

 **Manu:** Thank you!

 **Nina:** Thanks so much!

 **Guest:** Indeed it is not! XD

 **About** this scene...This scene takes place after Under the Rain at some point. I am not sure how long, though. My Doavhkiin and Vilkas are relaxing after a long mission with some good books..

 **# 033 - Expectation**

I sighed softly in content as I leaned back against Vilkas. I was cuddled up in his lap as he read a book I had from my world. He was curious as to why it was, and remained, one of my favorite books. He wasn't very far into it yet, but I couldn't blame him for it. He had just started reading it and I was apparently distracting him every time I shifted or made a noise. I was reading my own book, one he had said was his favorite. He distracted me with his movements too, so I really couldn't say anything about his distraction.

"May I ask you something?" Vilkas asked.

"Anything, you know that," I answered, leaning my head on his shoulder.

He let go of his book with one hand and wrapped that arm around my waist, pulling me closer. He nuzzled the top of my head. "What are your expectations?"

"For?" I placed my hand over his, lowering my book so I could properly focus on the question.

"Us, life, the future."

"Hm," I hummed thoughtfully. "I don't often expect much...makes it harder to be disappointed. Or, at least, I try not to." I absently rubbed the back of his hand, even as he held me a little tighter. "Every time I've expected anything to go right, or a certain way, I have always been left disappointed."

"So you don't expect anything to come of this?" he asked, putting his book down and adjusting me on his lap to where he could nuzzle his face into my neck.

I took a shuddering breath. "Well, I...hope things," I said. "But I don't expect. I can't predict the future."

"Hm," he hummed. "So what do you hope?"

"Marriage, when we are both ready for that," I answered. "Kids at some point. I'd like to keep adventuring until such time we have kids and when they are old enough, adventure with them. When I'm not then I will have to find some occupation to keep me busy as if I just stay at home doing nothing all day, I will go stir crazy. Though the kids might keep me busy enough, since there doesn't seem to be a public school system. I would love to do something like my old youtube again, but I don't think there is an equivalent in this world. But we'll need some form of income to make up for the fact you'll be the only one out adventuring and finding treasures."

"I see," he said. "Do you have...any expectations for a timeframe for any of that?"

"No, not really," I admitted, turning my head to nuzzle his neck, which caused him to hold me tighter. "It depends. On me, on you. When we are ready for such steps. I do not wish to take any of this too fast. I've seen what can happen when someone rushes into marriage, or into kids."

"I understand," Vilkas said. "We Nords tend to move fast when it comes to love. But I understand your desire to take it slow. I have also seen marriages turn sour when they are rushed."

"Hm," I hummed, cuddling into him. "I really want this to work. That means patience and time."

"I agree."

I smiled and we sat there, just cuddling for a while. Eventually I asked him what his expectations were.

"I expect," he answered, bringing a hand up to stroke my cheek. "That we will merely fall more in love and live happily. And have as many kids as you want."

I laughed a little bit. "I only expect to have between two and four," I told him. "If we had more than I could physically be there for when they need me, I'd kill myself trying to be there for them all anyways."

Vilkas chuckled. "I can see that." He paused for a moment and turned my face to him. He looked me in the eyes. "I also expect….that we will make a good team."

I smiled. "Aren't we already?" I asked, smile transforming into a grin.

He grinned as well. "Aye," he said. He closed the gap between us and kissed me deeply.

I kissed him back, feeling warmth spread through my body. I expected that whatever life brought, we'd fight for what we had to just keep growing.


	34. Topic 34: Stars

**A/N:** I have recently gotten back in contact with old friends. I'm actually going to be going to visit with them today. It is a bright spot in an otherwise dark part of my life. I'm so, so looking forward to it. :D

Thank you all for sticking with this so far. I'm glad you guys like it so much! *big hugs all around*

 **Manu:** (32) Thanks! (33) Vilkas is the most romantic of the ones I've heard the proposals of. :3 Why must games make me fall in love with fictional characters? I want one of them to exist! Lol. My dovahkiin is indeed very lucky. :)

 **Guest:** Indeed he is. :3

 **Nina:** Thank you!

 **About** this scene...I'm not sure where this takes place. Somewhere after Under the Rain, that is all I know for sure. Not sure if it is before or after the war ends, though. Not much to say that isn't explained in the scene.

 **# 034 - Stars**

I sighed in content as I laid back on the grass. It was a nice, clear night as Vilkas and I were making our way to Winterhold. I needed to visit the college there, wanting to see if I could figure something out that was bothering me a lot recently. But we were still south of the snowy weather and it was still a fairly warm night.

"The stars are beautiful tonight," I said, staring up at them.

"Aye," Vilkas agreed from where he sat to my right tending the fire. I was laying right behind him.

"Have you ever just, sat outside at night and stared at the stars?" I asked.

"When I was young, Kodlak used to bring my brother and I out to star gaze," he said. "My brother wasn't very interested, but I always paid close attention to him explaining the constellations."

I chuckled. "My sister would tell me about constellations at times," I said. "I always tried, but I could never find them on my own. I only vaguely remember stories, though I remember their names. I always wished I was better at it. I love space."

Vilkas chuckled. "I could show you a few," he said, glancing back at me.

I smiled up at him. "I'd like that," I replied softly.

He smiled and then shifted to get up from the log we had dragged by the fire for sitting. He laid down next to me and I moved closer to him for warmth. He wrapped an arm around me and I let my head rest on his shoulder. He pointed with his free hand.

"If you look closely there, you can see the Apprentice," he said, pointing at a bundle of stars.

I narrowed my eyes, trying to find it among the stars. "You mean that grouping of stars that looks like a bow with a line through it?"

"Hm, I suppose it could be described that way," he chuckled.

"Maybe this is why I can never find them," I sighed. "I look at things literally. I have an imagination, but if it looks like a bow, I see a bow, not a person."

Vilkas chuckled. "I doubt the scholars who named it saw a man either," he said. "It's more an imposed image."

"Makes sense," I said. "So what's the story?"

"The Apprentice was named after one of the apprentices of the first Mage," Vilkas said. "Those born under it are said to have a natural affinity to magic, though also a natural weakness."

"Hm," I hummed. "Seems pretty crappy to me. Being weak to the very thing you are best at."

Vilkas chuckled. "Aye, I agree there," he said.

He continued on for some time, pointing out what constellations we could see and explaining them to me. I tried my best to soak in the information, though how much I retained would be seen at a later date.

"What sign were you born under?" I asked, curiously.

"I was born under the sign of the Warrior," Vilkas said.

"And what's astrology say about that?" I asked in curiosity.

"Skilled with weapons, but prone to short tempers," Vilkas answered.

I giggled a little, snuggling closer. "I can see that," I said, tone fond. "You quite lost your temper when…" I trailed off a little, stopping as I realized I didn't really want to think or talk about that time. When I had returned from killing the witches of Glenmor for Kodlak only to find the man dead. Vilkas had initially blamed me and though I forgave him for that, blamed myself a little even, I had never forgotten how scary he was in that moment.

He tightened his hold on me and buried his face into my neck. "I am sorry about that," he said, voice a little emotional. "I was wrong to shout at you back then."

"I forgave you," I said, reaching up and petting his hair softly.

"I remember the look you gave me, though, and I cannot forgive myself," he said.

I shook my head, sighing a little. "It is not your fault," I said. "I become afraid when anyone raises their voice for any reason. You could've been yelling at anyone else and I still would've been afraid. It could've been Aela shouting and the result would've been the same. It is….a weakness of mine. Nothing for you to feel bad about."

He sat up, pulling me with him, and pulled me into his lap, wrapping his arms around me protectively. "I'm still sorry."

"And you are still forgiven," I said, placing my forehead against his. "So stop feeling bad about it."

"If you wish, my Harbinger," he said, breath ghosting across my face.

I giggled a little and then looked up at the sky again. "I wonder what sign I would've been born under," I wondered to myself.

"Do you know when your birthday is?" Vilkas asked.

"Hmm," I hummed thoughtfully. "Well, let's see…" I trailed off as I measured time in my head from when I had left my homeworld to now. "I think, if I remember the calendar right for Skyrim, the twenty-eighth day of Morning Star, which is actually the exact equivalent of my birthday back home."

"Hm, well then, your sign would be the Ritual," Vilkas said. "Those born under it can have a variety of abilities depending on the moons. You are under the Mage, which speaks of talent for spellcasting as well as arrogance and absent-mindedness."

I chuckled a little. "Arrogance?"

Vilkas grinned a little. "I don't think that part applies to you most of the time," he said. "Though you are pretty absent minded at times." He placed his hands on my hips and let them rest there, though I couldn't feel them through my armor.

I snorted in amusement. "You got that right," I said, completely not ashamed of my absent-mindedness. I wrapped my arms around his neck, placing my forehead against his. "I wonder what your sign of my world says about you...what is your birthday, exactly?"

"My brother and I were born in the early days of the Last Seed," Vilkas answered.

"Hm," I thought for a moment. "That'd put you in early August in my world. Leo. Humorous and optimistic. Usually more extroverted. Seems to fit your brother more, to be honest. You're kinda of more of an introvert. Though you are humorous at times and I've never heard you be pessimistic, so it fits for the most part."

Vilkas chuckled, reaching up and stroking my cheek. It gave me a warm feeling I found pleasant. "What about you?"

"Mine was Aquarious," I replied. "Adaptable and original. I pretty much live for new things and adventure and creativity. Also known for seeking out knowledge."

"Sounds like you," Vilkas said fondly.

"Of course, all that is if you believe in such things," I said, blushing a little as I grinned sheepishly. "I mean, it does seem to fit, though I find it to be coincidence." I shrugged. "Stars."

Vilkas chuckled. "Indeed."


	35. Topic 35: Hold My Hand

**A/N:** So I have a question for you all. If I did a youtube video to read out reviews from my stories, would you all go watch it? Is that something you all would be interested to see? I need to get something done on my Transformers stories so I can ask them all too, cause I know many of my readers seem to be compartmentalized based on fandom, so they probably haven't seen all my notes in this story.

 **mia78:** Haha! Thank you so much! It is coming. :3 Not soon, but coming.

 **Nina:** Thank you! And yes, Vilkas is definitely intelligent. :3 Is why I was drawn to him, myself. As for "heat" hmm, I think I know what you mean by that. :P As for Vilkas loving her for a long time, I am thinking so too. :P Gosh, I just realized how much they beat around the bush before openly admitting they like each other. XD

 **Manu:** They are. :3 I have never been so proud of a pairing I have written like this since my first story I wrote, though the story around that one was poorly written and this one will be better. Vilkas is definitely both of those things. I was so upset when I first played through the Companion questline. I was returning from killing the Hagravens feeling satisfied and victorious that I had a way to cure them now and then I found people milling about outside Jorrvaskr and realized they were attacked while I was gone and then that Kodlak was dead. I was so upset. :(

 **About** this scene...So this scene requires some background. At some point while Kodlak is still alive, my Dovahkiin runs into some trouble while on a mission that ultimately leads to her magic not working anymore. I'm thinking it also caused some other problems cause if it was just magic not working she wouldn't be bothered too much, but I am not sure what else is wrong yet. Rumors of water that could restore something that was lost has Kodlak sending Vilkas with my Dovahkiin to find it. In order to reach it, however, they have to go through a completely pitch black cave and Crystal's eyes aren't adjusting at all, probably a side effect of whatever affected her magic to not work. She's never liked the dark when she could see, so the fact she can't see anything terrifies her, she likes seeing where she is going and such. Vilkas takes it upon himself to help her through, partially since there is no other way she could get through.

 **# 035 - Hold My Hand**

"I can't see anything," I said, shrinking back against the wall.

"It's ok, I can guide you," Vilkas said. "Being a werewolf, I have better senses."

"I-I can't do it, Vilkas," I said shakily. "Last time I was in darkness like this, I was swarmed by Falmor...I almost died, Vilkas. It terrified me. I can't...I never liked the dark before that...I can't do dark…and with my magic not working…"

"It'll be ok, Crystal," Vilkas said gently and I felt a hand ghost across my arm I assumed was his, but still sent a shot of fear through my heart. "Easy, it's just me. Come, hold my hand and I will guide you through." He took my hand in his.

I gripped his hand tightly as I shook in my fear. "I dunno if I can do this, Vilkas," I said. "I know Kodlak wanted us to do this together...but I…" My breathing was becoming more rapid.

He tugged slightly and placed his other hand on my shoulder. "Crystal, there are no Falmor in this cave," he told me. "You are not alone this time."

"I-I'm sorry," I said, still trying to see _something_ in this complete darkness. "You must think I'm pathetic."

"We all have our limits," he said in understanding. "My brother can't stand spiders ever since your trip to Dustman's Cairn."

"I don't blame him," I said. "Skyrim spiders are huge. I surprised myself when I wasn't terrified of them, to be honest."

"And you will surprise yourself again by making it through this darkness," Vilkas said. "All you need to do is hold my hand and I will guide you."

"O-ok," I stuttered. "I will try. Just...don't let me go, please?"

"Never," he said. I gave him an odd look in the darkness, though I couldn't see him, feeling much like I was oblivious to something in that moment, like I was missing something. I didn't dwell on it much though.

I moved from the wall, holding his hand tightly, afraid to let go. He guided me through, though I still tripped on things I couldn't see. Every little noise not made by us had me fighting against a panic attack and gripping his hand just a little tighter, relaxing the hold when nothing jumped out at us. If I was hampering him any, he didn't complain, but I still felt bad for needing him to metaphorically carry me through this.

Suddenly, there was a loud noise and I yelped slightly, jumping closer to him and hugging his arm. I heard him growl a little, which made me concerned he might shake me off, but instead he tightened his hold on my hand and took his weapon out as he assessed the situation. After a moment, we started moving again, slowly and cautiously. Out of fear I'd hamper him from being able to fight, I loosened my grip on his arm and just held his hand loosely with both of mine as I followed him closely.

"I smell blood," I whispered quietly eventually.

"Aye, it's old though," he said. "I also smell air. Don't worry, I think we are almost out of this cave."

"I'll feel better once I can see again," I said. "I can't even vaguely see in here…"

"I know," he said quietly.

Eventually we reached a point where light was pouring into the cave. I had to shield my eyes and had to wait a moment for them to adjust. When they did, I released Vilkas's hand and sighed in relief.

"See? You did it," Vilkas said.

"Yeah, thanks," I said, looking up at Vilkas, rubbing my arm sheepishly. "For holding my hand."

Vilkas smiled reassuringly. "The Companions are family," he said. "Whenever you need help, you can always hold my hand."

I smiled a little up at him. "I appreciate it," I said, completely calmed now. I turned to the meadow in front of this. "Now, let's find this...miracle water."

"Yeah," Vilkas agreed.


	36. Topic 36: Precious Treasure

**A/N:** Extremely short scene. Sorry! Anyways, I haven't heard from anyone about the youtube video idea I mentioned in my author's note last update?

 **Aria:** Thanks! :)

 **Guest:** Yup!

 **Manu:** Indeed he is!

 **About** this scene...Well, not much to say. This scene is tiny. XD It is from before the Dark Brotherhood Incident. Just a small glimpse into their lives. A really, really small one.

 **# 036 - Precious Treasure**

"What's this?" Maisha asked as she picked up my necklace from the table.

"It's my precious treasure," I answered her. "My grandma gave me that necklace."

"It's pretty," Maisha said, looking at it with wide eyes. "So shiny."

I chuckled. "Yeah," I said. I considered the young Khajiit for a moment reaching out for it. "Here.."

She handed it to me. Then I moved behind her and fastened it around her neck. "Now, you will always have a piece of me with you," I said. "Even when I'm off doing missions for the Companions or Stormcloaks."

"Oh wow! Thank you!" she exclaimed, turning and hugging me tightly. "I love you, mom!"

I hugged her back, smiling. The necklace might be precious to me, but it was no secret that the child was my most precious treasure. "I love you, too, my little one."


	37. Topic 37: Eyes

**A/N:** So I am so close to finishing writing this challenge. I am currently writing the ninety-ninth topic and will soon move onto the last one. :) Then it is time to start writing the full story, though I don't plan to start posting it until I am at least half way through posting this story and it won't be updated quite as often. I am thinking of updating that one once a week, optimistically speaking. That is the plan, but I won't guarantee it. I am placing a poll on my profile to find out if you guys want me to write the full story of this first or the prequel first or if you'd like them to be released side-by-side.

 **Nina:** (35) XD Haha! I suppose so! (36) It took me a moment why you were referring to Transformers. XD Thanks for expressing interest.

 **Guest:** It is a bittersweet scene when you know what is coming for them. :( There's a reason I don't like the Dark Brotherhood anymore. I did for a little while, but it was short-lived.

 **About** this scene... This takes place early on in the story, back in Helgen, actually. You encounter a few spiders at one point while making your way through the cave after being separated from the others. Ralof makes a comment about the spider's eyes, which leads to a conversation about eyes.

 **# 037 - Eyes**

"I hate spiders," Ralof said as he moved on through the tunnels we were using to escape Helgen. We had been separated from Ulfric and the other Stormcloaks we had come across some time ago. I hoped they were able to find another way out. "Too many eyes."

I looked at the spider with a tilted head for a moment before moving to catch up with him. "If the eyes are your problem with them, you should see the spiders of my world," I said. "These guys only have five."

"Your spiders had _more_ eyes?!" Ralof asked, shuddering.

"They were smaller though," I said. "I mean, there were some pretty big ones, but nowhere near that size." I pointed back at the spiders we had left dead. "These are more terrifying, if you ask me."

Ralof chuckled somewhat nervously. "I just find their eyes to be the creepiest," he said. "They say eyes are the windows into the soul and theirs are just hungry for blood."

"That's a saying here too?" I asked, blinking. I glanced up at him.

"Yeah," he grinned down at me. "So, tell me, what do mine tell you?"

"You're very dedicated to your cause," I said, staring at his eyes. "You also seem sad. Conflicted about something? Worried, maybe. You have a gentle soul, I think."

"I'm touched," he said. "Yours seem rather old, if you want to know. A mixture of sadness and hope. You've been through some pretty shit stuff. You've seen death before...perhaps even are guilty of causing it, or feel guilty at the very least."

I blinked in surprise and turned away.

"But I think, all you want to do, is to make people happy and keep them safe," Ralof said, stopping even as I continued to walk.

I paused and looked back at him. "Well," I said. "You're not wrong."

I continued moving forward. It seemed that the saying must've had some credence to it. I was just guessing with mine, I had no idea if I was accurate or not, but he got me pretty spot on. I wasn't sure how to feel about that.

"Is that why the Imperials caught you? Did you kill someone?" Ralof asked as he caught up with me.

"No," I said quietly, not looking at him. "I just stumbled into their camp shortly before they ambushed you. They thought I was a spy sent to stop them. And they wouldn't believe me that I was lost, must've thought anyone with a map couldn't possibly be lost. But I had no idea where I was on the map as I hadn't found any landmarks and had no idea north from south. It's basically just a case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time."

"I'm sorry that happened," Ralof said, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"Eh, it's over now," I said. "And clearly Jesus and the rest of them up there don't say it's my time yet, cause I'm still here. Funny that I kinda owe my life to a dragon….they were mere legends in my world."

Ralof laughed. "Yeah, same here," he agreed. "Though, who is Jesus?"

"Son of the Most High God," I said. "He's kinda in charge of all the other guys up there."

"Huh, never heard of him," Ralof said.

"Well, if we get out of here, maybe I will tell you more," I offered. "And you could tell me of this Talos you speak of."

"Sounds like a plan, lass," Ralof said, clasping me on the shoulder.


	38. Topic 38: Abandoned

**A/N:** I missed an update day, I apologize. I was cut off from internet for a couple days, by choice. I took a much needed break from my life, but now I am ready to get back to the grindstone. Once I rest myself for a while. I did a lot more physical activity than I have been used to for a long time. Kinda annoys me that I am so sore and tired after such a great weekend. So today I rest and tomorrow I gotta make calls, apply for scholarships and begin my work catching up on my recording.

No one's voted in the poll on my profile yet. XD

 **Guest:** I hate spiders too. :P Thanks!

 **Nina:** I agree. That spider from the Spider Who Can't Hide is cute. But, what do you mean about getting out of legs? That discourse will be further explored in the full story. Especially during the time Naomi is around, perhaps with someone else too. Not sure yet. Thanks for noticing it. :)

 **About** this scene... My Dovahkiin has come to realize that one of the Whiterun children is homeless. She makes a decision to do something about that.

I frowned as I watched the kid below me from where I was chilling in the Gildergreen. She was pleading with passerbys for money, some of which would oblige her and others would just ignore her. Why would a child so young be begging on the streets? It didn't seem as though she was doing it for her family, merely to be able to afford something to eat. And why did so many people seem to not care?

It made me think of all the kids I had seen in tough situations back home. It always ate at my heart that kids were in such situations. Kids should be care and worry free. They should be able to just be kids and not worry about whether or not they will be able to eat. How I have been here for as long as I have and not realized this kid had nowhere to go was a mystery to me. Had I really gotten so wrapped up in solving my own problems?

"Hey kid," I called down.

She jumped a few feet into the air and looked around frantically. "Who said that?"

"Up here! In the tree!"

"Oh!" she looked up at me. "Why are you up there?"

I shrugged. "It's relaxing," I answered. I jumped down and approached her, looking down at her. I felt weird looking down at her, so I kneeled to look her in the eye. "I have a question for you."

"Yes?" she asked. She seemed nervous, even after I knelt. My armor must've made me look more intimidating than I really am. It kinda disconcerted me. I didn't like the idea of kids being scared of me. Perhaps I should invest in some casual wear.

"What's a kid like you doing begging on the streets? Don't you have a home?" I inquired.

Her expression became saddened. "When my parents died, my aunt and uncle kicked me off the farm," she said.

"What? Why'd they do such a thing?"

"They said I cost too much money," she sighed.

"So they abandoned you…" I blinked in lack of understanding how people could be so cruel as to toss a kid out on her own. I pushed my anger down as I sighed heavily. I pulled out a bag of money and placed it in the kid's hands. "Here, take this for now. I am going to figure out something to do about your situation."

"Oh thank you so much!" she grinned brightly.

"Of course," I said. "What's your name kid?"

"Lucia," she said.

"Alright, Lucia, I will figure something out for you shortly," I told her.

"Alright," she said.

I smiled and left her there, heading straight for Dragonsreach to talk to Lydia. Once inside, I located her chilling on a bench and approached her. I spoke with her for sometime about Lucia's situation and came to a conclusion that I would buy Breezehome and allow Lucia to live there with Lydia, who would determine whether or not she wanted to adopt the child after getting to know her. I would continue living in Jorrvaskr, but buying Breezehome would allow Lydia to live there. I didn't often take her with me on my adventures anyways, unless she specifically asked to come with me.

She didn't stay in Whiterun all the time, but she did her own thing and I did my own thing. I felt weird that she was technically supposed to do whatever I said being my Housecarl and everything. She seemed to appreciate that I gave her the freedom to do whatever she wanted, instead of treating her as little more than a slave as she's seen some Thanes treat their Housecarls. Perhaps it was that that left her willing to help Lucia for me. Either way, I was thankful.


	39. Topic 39: Dreams

**A/N:** I almost forgot to update today, oh no! XD I blame the Benadryl. That stuff puts you to sleep man! I got stung by a wasp the other day and it turns out I am allergic. So now I am taking Benadryl and rotating between having ice, Benadryl cream and an Epsom Salt paste on the affected area. So, I pretty much slept all day today. Yuck. Still sleepy, because I am still on Benadryl, but I wanted to make sure I got this scene out to you guys.

 **Manu:** Yeah, they're good kids. :)

 **Guest:** Thanks! :)

 **About** this scene... Just a conversation about dreams on the way to get the Jagged Crown.

 **# 039 - Dreams**

"Ever have any weird dreams?" I asked Galmar as we led some troops on the way to find the Jagged Crown.

"Define weird dreams," Galmar said gruffly.

"Like, where something happens that you know never would actually happen." I said. "Like Ulfric turning into a banana."

"What?"

"Weird dream I had once," I said. "While I was contemplating what stance to take on the war. Tullius too."

Galmar chuckled, shaking his head. "Why a banana?"

"Probably from a video I once watched of someone contemplating a banana," I answered. "I've had weirder though."

"Contemplating a banana.." Galmar shook his head. "Are all people from your world so weird?"

I laughed. "Nah," I said. "Just the best ones." I grinned widely.

We walked in silence for some time after that.

"I had a dream I turned into a rabbit once," one of the soldiers walking just behind us said.

"Oh! That makes me think of plot bunnies," I said, grinning. "Was the rabbit the weirdest part of it?" I glanced at the soldier.

"Aye, considering the fact the rabbit was riding on the back of a unicorn," he said.

I laughed loudly. "That is weird," I agreed.

"So, what's the weirdest dream you've had?" the soldier asked curiously.

"Hm," I pondered that for a minute. "I think the multi-dimensional party interrupted by these weird mechanical spiders still takes the cake. I mean, it was so random and filled with weirdness. Like me being trusted with a gun when at the time I was, like, eight and hadn't the faintest idea of how to fight. In reality, I probably would've lost a foot. I literally knew nothing about weapons back then. But then, I've always had a fighter type personality, so maybe it was that showing through."

Galmar chuckled. "You're one of a kind, kid," he said.

"And cheery! It's so rare to see someone genuinely just happy in these times," the soldier said.

I shrugged. "Life's too short to spend _all_ of the time down in the dumps," I said. "I have my down times….luckily I always bounce back." I grinned back at him. "I'm nothing if not persistent!"

"So you are not constantly like this?"

"Nope," I said. "Life beats me down sometimes. I'm only human, I can't be happy _all_ of the time in the same way I can't be sad all of the time."

"Huh, makes sense," the soldier said.

"Hey Galmar!" I said suddenly. "You never answered my question!"

Galmar rolled his eyes. "No, I have not had weird dreams."

"I don't believe you," I giggled. "But I will accept your answer for now."

He rolled his eyes as we continued along our way.


	40. Topic 40: Rated

**A/N:** I hate Benadryl. I really do.

 **Aria:** Thanks! :) We all have weird dreams, don't we? XD

 **mia78:** Thanks. :) I'm glad you still like it so far.

 **Guest:** Haha. Galmar certainly has his hands full! Lol.

 **About** this scene...My Dovahkiin is a little loopy. Elenwen has the misfortune of being in Whiterun with a hyper Dovahkiin. This scene is really just silliness. I wasn't sure what to do with the topic "Rated"...

 **# 040 - Rated**

I giggled giddily to myself. I grinned widely as I snuck through the crowd, a sticky note held in my fingers. The sticky note said "Rated 0 out of 10" and I knew just who I was gonna stick it on. She'd regret popping into Whiterun and doing God only knows what. I suspected she was on the prowl for Talos worshippers.

Quickly, without warning, I ran up to her, slapped the sticky note to her shoulder and said, "There you go, you've been rated by the Dragonborn," I said, grinning.

"Have you lost your mind?!" Elenwen asked.

I stuck my tongue out at her cheekily and then ran off toward Jorrvaskr, laughing maniacally the whole way. As I ran through the meal hall, I heard someone speak.

"Who gave the Harbinger too much sugar?"

I giggled to myself as I disappeared into the lower levels to find my favorite Circle member to pester.


	41. Topic 41: Teamwork

**A/N:** I feel very easily distracted today. HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!

 **Nina:** (39) He's probably like "Why do I have to put up with this?" Lol (40) My Dovahkiin maybe was a little hyper that day. Lol.

 **Aria:** Same. Lol. I don't quite get like that, though I have random manic times, but me plus sugar equals no sleep. XD

 **Manu:** Indeed! XD

 **About** this scene...My Dovahkiin teams up with some Stormcloaks to steal some plans. :3 And her slight obsession with ninjas is revealed. XD

 **# 041 - Teamwork**

"Now listen, we're going to do this like ninja," I told the men huddled in a circle with me.

Ralof chuckled. "Like ninja?"

"What does that mean?" one of his men asked.

"We're going to use teamwork," I said with a grin. "They won't know what hits them."

"How is that being a ninja?" yet another asked.

"The most important thing to a ninja is teamwork," I said. "Without teamwork, any mission will fail."

"Do you have something in mind?" Ralof asked.

I nodded and then explained my plan to the group. As we discussed, a few flaws were pointed out and we worked together to find a better solution. After the discussion was over and we had a solid plan, we nodded to each other and broke the circle.

Everyone took their positions and I crouched behind some bushes, slowly making my way closer to the Imperial caravan we were ambushing. It was convenient they had a broken wheel, but it worked for us.

Once I was close, I reached into my pocket for a smoke bomb I had worked with the court wizard to cook up. I tapped it with my finger to activate it, then tossed it into the middle of the small group of soldiers protecting the caravan. Once they were covered in smoke, the others moved in, fighting the soldiers as Ralof snuck by.

Once the smoke cleared, the soldiers were left standing with barely a clue of what had just happened and we were long gone with our loot.

"See? That's how ninja steal important information," I grinned. "Now we be ninja in here."

Ralof and his men all laughed at my silliness. Silliness that had gotten us the Imperial's plans to raid Stormcloak supply holds. Teamwork score one, Imperial soldiers score zero.


	42. Topic 42: Standing Still

**A/N:** So yesterday I found out how my dear friend, Kim, really died. For so long I didn't know and thought it was either suicide or murder and felt that I was at least partially responsible for not dropping everything and going to her immediate aid when her husband died. Two years, almost, I have lived with this guilt. Guilt that was misplaced, as it turned out. Turns out she died, same with her husband, because they were on some new pain management meds and it interacted really badly with some, or possibly all, of the meds they were already on. So...meds killed her...nothing I could've done to prevent that from happening. I wouldn't have known that was the cause anymore by going there than I did as it is. There was nothing I could do. Still makes me want to do everything in my power to prevent the deaths of the rest of my friends..and others as well. If there is something I can do, I want to do it! And I don't want to ever regret not trying to keep in contact better with people again. I can't change the past, but I can strive to do my best in the future. And with this guilt off my shoulders, perhaps I can move forward with a clearer head.

 **Aria:** That scene...will probably get a rework in the final product. Lol. XD It goes just a little too smoothly and when I think about it, doesn't make a whole lot of sense. XD Quite a few of these scenes will get some brushing up when I insert them into the story.:P

 **Guest:** I am glad it at least amused you. :D

 **BlastOS:** Whatever could give you that idea? Is it because they enjoy themselves in the midst of a dark situation? Nah, not ADHD, trust me, she'd be way more all over the place if she had that. No, she is just one who chooses to be optimistic about life, even through the hard times, despite her own emotional turmoil and the turmoil of the world around her. That is not indicative of ADHD or any other mental problem.

 **About** this scene... My Doavhkiin was on the ledges of a tower in the Palace of Kings talking a kid out of suicide. When the kid was brought into safety, the ledge crumbled, leaving her stuck. This idea was inspired by an episode of NCIS in which Palmer was in a similar situation. I will write out the actual conversation when writing this scene out in the full story, but for now, enjoy the aftermath. :)

 **# 042 - Standing Still**

"Just don't move, stand perfectly still," Ralof told me.

"What does it look like I'm doing?!" I snapped a little.

"Easy." Ralof said, sounding worried as I wobbled on the precarious platform I was on.

I just had to put my neck out for someone who was pondering suicide, didn't I? Crap, I was supposed to be the Harbinger! And yet here I was, trapped by a falling apart palace, hundreds of feet in the air. If I jumped, I'd die, especially since I wasn't wearing my armor. The ledge I was on was too tiny for me to make the jump to the window. Looking down made me queasy.

"Just stay perfectly still," I told myself, closing my eyes. "If I just stand still, I can stay here until Ralof finds a solution…"

Suddenly, there was a hand on my shoulder and I jumped from it startling me. My eyes flew open wide as I began to fall, but a strong arm caught me. Instantly, I clung to the arm, not wishing to fall, and then looked to the owner, praying I wasn't then taking them down with me. I blinked in surprise when I saw the Jarl himself had caught me.

"Jarl Ulfric?" I blinked at him.

"I can't let someone die by falling off a tower of my palace," he said, grinning.

I chuckled slightly. "No, that would look bad," I agreed. I glanced down and immediately regretted it. "Uh…"

"I got you, don't worry," he said.

"Who's got you, though?" I asked, genuinely concerned he had done something rash as I did.

"No worries," he said.

A few moments later, he was helping me into a window. Once on solid ground again, I breathed a sigh of relief and all but collapsed against a wall. "I've faced down dragons and a fall is what terrifies me, sheesh." I muttered, shaking my head.

Ralof chuckled. "Glad to see you haven't lost your sense of humor, lass."

I grinned at him, though I knew my face was still pale.

"Thank you," a voice said that had us all looking to who said it.

I stared at the small Nord boy who was no more than a teenager. He looked even smaller than he was, looking so sheepish there. My mouth thinned a little and I walked over to him, looking him in the eye, though I had to look up to do so because of my shortness. I reached up and slapped him firmly on the back of the head.

"Ow! Geez! What was that for?" he asked, holding his head and backing away from me as he looked at me warily.

"For being an idiot," I said bluntly. I pointed at his face. "Life is hard, but worth living, you nut case. Next time I should...you know what? No, I'd do this whole thing over again if I needed to."

He chuckled nervously, holding his hands up. "H-hey, don't worry, I've learned my lesson," he said. "Thank you for talking sense into me." He gave me a genuine smile.

"Of course," I said. "And if you try to do that again, I will Gibbs slap you into yesteryear."

Everyone chuckled at that, though I knew none of them quite got the reference.

"I am sorry you almost fell to your doom." the teen said, rubbing his head sheepishly.

"Nah, don't worry about it. I'm good at standing still until I'm rescued." I said, clearly brushing off my brush with death with the humor.

"That's not what it looked like to me," Ralof teased. He ruffled my hair. "Short stuff."

"Stop makin' fun o' meh height ya Nord!" I said said in fake grouchiness.

Galmar laughed as I shoved Ralof, only for him not to budge at all. I crossed my arms and pouted.

"Your accent's showing," Ralof teased, grinning, knowing I usually kept my voice controlled enough to be fully understood.

"Your face is showing," I said, poking his stomach.

"Alright, as amusing as this is, I believe we all have work to do," Ulfric spoke up. He looked firm, but I wondered if he was just putting on a show.

"Yes sir," Ralof said. He ruffled my hair. "Talk to you later, sis."

I stuck my tongue out at him as he left. I ignored the feeling I got from discovering he saw me as a sister. Everyone filed out except for Ulfric, Galmar and the teen, who hung back and looked at me.

"Before we go," he said, stopping me as I went to leave as well.

I stopped and looked at him over my shoulder.

"Why do you care what happens to some random Nord kid you just met?" the kid asked.

I turned to fully look at him, feeling my expression show my heart ache for a moment. "Because I do," I said simply, shrugging. "Life is precious. Just cause I'm not a Nord doesn't mean I have no reason to care about what happens to Nords. I care about what happens to everyone." I bit my lip a little, considering if that is all I wanted to say.

"That's all?" he asked.

"Look, kid," I said. "Your life is just as precious as anyone else's. That's good enough for me. Any other reasons, neither of us really need to know. Now, I am supposed to be helping out at the Inn shortly, so I'll be going now." I turned to Ulfric and nodded my thanks. "Thank you for saving me."

He nodded back and I started to leave.

"I still feel like there is something you aren't telling me," the kid said.

I glanced at him. "There is a lot I haven't told anybody, even my closest friends," I told him. "Don't take it to heart." I pat him on the shoulder as I left.


	43. Topic 43: Foreign

**A/N:** I'm going to be in D.C. for a week, so I don't know how often I will be able to update. I will try to keep the schedule, but I may not be able to. We shall see. It honestly won't be my priority while I am there.

On a side note, I've started drawing a comic! It's a Pokemon/Star Wars Rebels crossover. XD My Rebel character of myself and Governor Pryce, possibly Thrawn as well, get stuck in the Pokemon world as Pokemon. Pryce and I are both Vulpix, she an Alolan form and I am Kanto form, while if Thrawn is in it he will be a Pidgey at the start. Thrawn, at least, will evolve all the way to a Pidgeot if I have him be in our situation with us. Still working out how they get there.

 **Manu:** Thanks! I'm glad you think so!

 **Guest:** Thank you!

 **About** this scene...We are taking a step backwards in this scene. Back when my Dovahkiin and Ralof were just gathering their bearings after Helgen. They are eating diner when my Dovahkiin realizes that she is the foreign one here. It is a sobering thought.

 **# 043 - Foreign**

"You really like that stew," Ralof chuckled at me as I ate up the stew his sister had made for dinner.

"I'm starving!" I exclaimed. "And I've always liked foreign food….food..that is...foreign to where I'm from…" I paused a moment as I corrected myself and then stared at the stew left in the bowl. It hit me then, that I was a foreigner here. My concepts, my world view….pretty much everything about me would be foreign to these people. All my references were foreign and thus were less likely to make people happy.

"Did you not have stew in your home country?" Ralof asked.

I snapped back into reality and blinked several times. "Well, we had stew, but it tasted nothing like this! This is way better than the stew I've had before." Well, maybe not quite so much better than some stew, but definitely different and good in a different way.

"You can eat as much as you like," Gerder said, refilling Ralof's bowl.

"I appreciate it," I told her. "I mean, you certainly don't need to be so nice to me."

"Nonsense!" Hodd practically shouted. "From what Ralof's told us, he would've been dead without you!"

"Eh, not really," I said, looking sheepish. "In fact, it's probably the other way around."

"Don't sell yourself short, kid," Ralof said, ruffling my hair.

"I'm not a kid," I grumbled, causing him to laugh. "I'll have you know, I'm in my twenties."

"Sure you are," Ralof said, lightly punching my arm.

I just glared at him. At least one thing didn't seem to be a foreign concept. Teasing me for my smallness.

Ralof just chuckled at the expression of my face. Guess finding me not intimidating also wasn't a foreign concept either.


	44. Topic 44: Two Roads

**A/N:** So far, I am enjoying my time here. Things are kinda slow, but that is ok. Not every visit somewhere has to be go-go-go. Sometimes it is nice to just be away and be around friends.

 **Nina:** (42) Thank you so much! :D (43) Indeed! XD I dunno, I'd be ok if I ended up with someone else. I dunno. I am between Skyrim and the Star Wars world, tbh.

 **About** this scene... My Dovahkiin is given a choice..

 **# 044 -Two Roads**

" _There are two roads you can take."_

" _Well, obviously. But what_ are _the two roads?"_

" _You can choose to stay in Skyrim forever, or you could leave Skyrim and live a different reality."_

" _Is going home an option there?"_

" _No, I cannot unblock your way to your homeworld. I can only block off your ability to ever leave a world again."_

" _Well, then, that answer is obvious. I'm staying here."_

" _Your road has been chosen. Though, know this...there are many roads you can take within this road…"_

" _Well, again, that's obvious."_

" _I'm surprised, though, that you do not wish to rejoin your shinobi friends."_

" _Their world is better off without my interference. I would probably screw things up there. At least here, I know I have a chance to make things better."_

" _If that is your desire."_

" _It is."_

" _Very well."_

There was a flash of light and suddenly I was back in the cave I had traveled to under the Q's direction. Vilkas and Farkas were waiting for me, sitting on a rock nearby. The orb I held in my hand dimmed back to a soft glow and I sat it back on the pedestal. After staring at it for a moment, I moved away to join the brothers as Vilkas stood.

"Is it done?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said, frowning.

"I thought you'd be happier," Vilkas said, looking at me in concern as he placed his hands on my shoulders.

"I just need some time," I said. "I pretty much just made it to where I won't see my friends from the other worlds I've been in either. So, yeah…"

Vilkas pulled me into a hug. "I understand," he said softly. "But now you can build your life."

"Yeah…" I said, though internally I wondered if it would work out at all. Before my adventures had started, I had pretty much failed at everything. The only thing I felt good about from before was my youtube channel and anything I did for God. All I could do would be to make the best choices I knew how and hoped they were the right ones.


	45. Topic 45: Illusion

**A/N:** On the way home from visiting D.C. now. I think I missed like two updates while I was here. Sorry about that. But now we are back to our regularly scheduled program. I missed posting videos yesterday too, on my youtube, so I am a day behind posting them now. Thankfully since I usually don't post on Sundays, I can be all caught up by Monday without the need to post videos for two days on one day. :D

 **Manu:** (43) Thanks! I imagine being a foreign country for a long time would be a little strange and disconcerting for a while. There's always an adjustment period for such things. (44) Indeed!

 **Guest:** Thank you!

 **mia78:** Thank you! I'm glad you are enjoying this so far! And indeed, she has been faced with many hard choices. But in time she will recover and not worry so much about what she has lost.

 **About** this scene... Vilkas and Crystal are on their way to investigate some Dwemer ruins rumored to have some raiders holed up in them doing a very peculiar set of experiments. My Dovahkiin caught wind of the rumors and is disconcerted by them, so she is going to check it out, but Vilkas refused to let her go alone. She had stopped by the College of Winterhold for any information about the nature of the experiment she could find out from the mages there. One of them, Drevis, insists they need some illusion spells for their mission...

 **# 045 - Illusion**

"What you need is an illusion spell," Drevis said.

I blinked at him, unimpressed. "I'm not really one for illusions." If you wanted to get technical, I wasn't even one for magic in general. The only spells I ever used were healing spells and Candlelight to light up dark caves and the like. More out of necessity than anything.

"Is there nothing you can do besides parlor tricks?" Vilkas asked, sounding rather annoyed with the mage.

I shot him a sidelong look as I tried to figure out just why he seemed to be constantly annoyed with the mage we were speaking to.

"Of course there is!" the dark elf said, sounding offended. "But if you go in, all offensive, you won't make it past the entrance. You need something to keep the raiders from noticing you at all!"

"Look, Drevis," I said, sighing as I rubbed my forehead. "I don't have time to spend mastering a new spell in a school of magic I've never dealt with before. This matter is just a little bit urgent." At least, it was urgent if my suspicions were correct. "Are these Dwemer ruins really so dangerous?"

"For the unprepared traveler, they are the grave, no doubt," Drevis said.

I crossed my arms and huffed.

"Look, you don't need to master this skill to use it, I have a Scroll right here," Drevis said, pulling a roll of paper from his robes. "Use this and you will be invisible to all for sixty seconds."

"A minute? That's not very long," I said, feeling a headache coming on. "And it would only get me in, not out."

"Ah, but that's why I can sell you two, or three! Or four! However many you think you may need!" Drevis said.

"And why can't we just fight our way through these ruins?" Vilkas asked. "Do you think us whelps unable to defend ourselves?"

 _Oh, I see,_ I thought to myself, glancing at Vilkas again. He felt affronted that the man seemed to think we couldn't hold our own against the robots found in Dwemer ruins.

"Oh! No, that's not it at all!" Drevis said, holding his hands up. "I mean, you look perfectly capable, but your Breton friend…"

"I'm not a Breton," I said, eye twitching. "And, what, just cause I am small and don't know a lot of magic you think I am incapable?!"

"Uh…" Drevis said, looking rather unsure of himself now.

"Bah! We don't need an illusion spell," I said, turning. "Come on, Vilkas, we're going."

Vilkas gave the dark elf a smug grin before following me, prompting me to give him a weird look.

"What's the smug look about?" I asked once we were out of earshot.

"I didn't like the way that elf was looking at you," he said.

I blinked. "You mean the look of a salesman who thinks he has an easy sale?"

"Is that how you interpreted that look?"

"Same look I got from merchants with those little stands in the middle of mall hallways." I shrugged. "Creepy, but easy to ignore, since I know they are mostly just trying to sell their stuff."

Vilkas shook his head.

"Besides," I said, moving closer to him as we walked and leaning up to grin at him. "That look would only affect me coming from one person."

"Oh? And how does the look affect you from this one person?" Vilkas asked, looking down at me with a mischievous smile.

I giggled as I fell back onto my feet. "Someday, I will show you," I grinned. I grabbed his hand and pulled him along as we left the College.

"I look forward to that day," Vilkas said.

I did too, but I wasn't ready to tell him that. For now, we had some ruins to prove we could get through without any illusions.


	46. Topic 46: Family

**A/N:** I apologize for not updating this as I should. :/ I have been distracted a lot.

 **Guest:** Indeed he is. Lol

 **Manu:** Thanks!

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing and favoriting by the way, everyone out there reading! You guys are awesome. :D

 **About** this scene...Sometime fairly early on in my Dovahkiin's time with the Companions. Just an average night at the diner table.

 **# 046 - Family**

"Oi! Pass the mashed potatoes!" Ria called.

I reached for the potatoes without even looking up or away from the conversation I was having with Vilkas and his brother. I picked up the bowl of mashed potatoes and passed it around Athis and Njada to the intended recipient on their other side.

"Thank you!"

"What weapon do you prefer, Crystal?" Farkas asked.

"I've found I am fond of battleaxes," I said, returning to my food as my secondary focus after sending Ria a smile to acknowledge her thanks. "I rather enjoy the bow as well."

Kodlak chuckled. "It certainly seems as though you fit in with our family," he said, giving me a smile that I could only describe as a welcoming, grandfatherly kind of smile.

I rubbed my head sheepishly.

As the night wore on and we talked more, telling stories of adventures past, I was starting to grow to believe that Kodlak's words were likely true. Maybe I had found a bunch of people I could claim as a new family. I didn't have many stories I felt safe to share, but I did have a couple to tell from before I had left my homeworld that seemed to fit.

"I think we should toast," Aela said eventually.

"To what?" Vilkas asked.

"Perhaps the newest member has something she'd like to toast," Aela offered, looking at her.

"With what? My water?" I asked, though my grin showed how I was joking as I lifted my mug. By now, everyone knew I didn't drink anything alcoholic, but no one seemed to think less of me for it, if only because I made it into a joke myself.

The others all laughed.

"Well, you have anything?" Ria asked.

I hummed thoughtfully for a moment, staring at my water. "Well, there's only one thing I ever felt worth toasting," I said finally.

"Which is?" Aela asked.

I lifted my mug. "Family," I said. "And new beginnings."

"I think I can toast to that," Kodlak smiled, lifting his mug to meet mine.

"Aye!" Vilkas agreed.

Everyone agreed and clanked their mugs in a circle. I smiled, feeling a little bit of happiness enter my heart. It was starting to feel like I belonged here.


	47. Topic 47: Creation

**A/N:** So, I feel like i need to put myself on a stricter schedule. I am pretty much getting nothing done these last couple days. :/ Also, I only have one vote on my poll! XD

 **Nina:** (45) Indeed he does not! Lol. Not a fan, he is. :P (46) I enjoy writing these bits the most. :3

 **Manu:** Thanks!

 **About** this scene...This scene takes place about a day after the topic titled Tears. My Dovahkiin is still being confined to the Palace to keep her safe while she works through the emotional ramifications of losing a child to murder. Because she knows, as Ulfric and Galmar know, that if she is sent out like this that she'd do something foolish and get herself killed.

 **# 047 - Creation**

If there was one thing everyone who knew me before all of this knew about me, it was that I loved creating things. It was a hobby I hadn't really been able to indulge ever since Q first dragged me away from my admittedly cushy life. There was never time between missions for the Companions, dealing with dragons and now the war. It was even harder to find time when I was caring for Maisha whenever I wasn't handling one of the aforementioned things.

But now Maisha was gone and I was still being cooped up in the Palace of the Kings while the others dealt with finding the Brotherhood. Vilkas was on his way, but it'd be another day or two before he got here. In the meantime, I spent my time in the war room, staying near Ulfric and Galmar as they discussed the war and the hunt for those who had killed Maisha in their attempt to kill me. As I did so, I was putting my old hobbies into use.

"What are you doing?" Galmar asked, looking up from their plans. His words brought Ulfric's attention to me as well.

"Distracting myself," I said. "Basically anything I can to make my mind focus on not-depression."

"Ok, but what exactly are you doing?" Galmar asked.

"I'm trying to make a toy car," I said as I whittled away at a piece of wood.

"A what?" Galmar asked.

"You will see when it is done, given I can successfully make one," I said, brow furrowing in concentration.

As it turned out, I made a shaky version of a toy car over the next few hours. Eventually Galmar left, heading off to speak to some of the men he had sent to scout out the rumored location of the Dark Brotherhood. After that, Ulfric sat next to me at the table I was sitting at and watched me try to etch details into the car after having given up on getting the wheels perfectly round.

"I didn't know you did stuff like this," Ulfric said eventually, as I was carving the Stormcloak bear into the front end of the car.

"I don't usually," I said. "I've always enjoyed creating things. Usually that is writing or drawing or putting together puzzles or things. Wood work was more my brother-in-law's thing. This just is what happened to be available to me." I flinched and pulled my hand away as I nicked it with the knife I was using. "Ow, dang it." I placed the knife on the table and stuck my wounded finger in my mouth.

I looked around to locate something I could wrap my finger in, but stopped when Ulfric returned from somewhere. I hadn't even noticed him get up, cause I was so focused on my finger. He took my hand away from my mouth and inspected my finger. The slice went pretty deep and there was blood constantly oozing from it. I was shaking, feeling light-headed despite fighting against my body's natural response. All this time and I still couldn't cope with my fear of blood without sufficient motivation…

"It's not too bad," Ulfric said.

I immediately glared at him. Obviously it wasn't that bad. I had suffered much worse in my adventures. The wound itself was not the worst of what I was going through from the act of inflicting it. I was fighting tears back as Ulfric tended to bandaging my finger with enough pressure to stop the bleeding, but not too much to cut off circulation.

"That wasn't so bad," Ulfric said, brushing my tears away.

I shook my head. "It hurts, but it is nothing compared to other wounds I have suffered," I said quietly.

"So why are you crying?" Ulfric asked.

"I…" I started and then paused as I had to consider my words. "You know, I've heard a lot about people causing themselves physical pain in order to distract themselves from emotional pain. Supposedly, it lessens it as their mind focuses on the physical instead...Personally, I never thought it made sense...for me it is the opposite. In times where I am having a hard time emotionally, physical pain actually amplifies the emotional pain."

Ulfric sighed and pulled me into a hug. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Just being here is enough," I said with a sigh as I stared at my creation sitting on the table. There was blood all over it now, and the table.

Ulfric shifted and I couldn't see it anymore. I was grateful. Even though he didn't understand how I could be afraid of blood, he understood it wouldn't help me to stare at my own blood covering the table.

"How long until Vilkas gets here?" I asked quietly.

"He should be here tomorrow, given that he is not held up," Ulfric told me.

I let myself relax a little. "Ok," I replied, voice quiet.

I felt like I needed my Companion friend. He was the only one who could truly soothe my emotions over. Having my friends here around me helped, but I felt an aching in my heart to have Vilkas nearby. Just the reassurance that he was alive and well would calm me a little. In the meantime, having Ulfric be there helped, even though I knew the soldiers who came and went to talk to him thought something had gone wrong with me. Well, I figured they did anyways. I doubted anyone understood how I could let myself seemingly fall apart like this. I tried not to let it bother me, though it definitely did.


	48. Topic 48: Childhood

**A/N:** Well...I have had to make a video I didn't imagine having to make when I started my youtube. It's come to my attention that people are taking videos from youtubers and reuploading them to other sites. That is not ok. That is stealing. That is equivalent to someone copying everyone's books and pasting it on a site for all to read...stealing any chance at revenue from the creation. Whether the people doing this are making money off it or not, they are stealing the hard work of so many people. Not to mention that doing this, they are stealing views from the original video, from the content creator responsible for the existence of that video to begin with. And they do this the moment the videos are uploaded in some cases. I only upload my videos to youtube, so the only way they are on these other sites is other people reuploading them. In doing this, they steal our views, they prevent us from getting the stats we should, which affects whether or not we get paid for the content we put out. Being a new youtuber is hard enough without people stealing our content right from under our noses! We work hard! Every single youtuber works hard and we pour our heart and soul into the content we create...and then our work is stolen right from under our noses before we even have a chance to realize what is happening.

This is not just happening to we small time youtubers either! Big youtubers like Mark and Jack are affected too, without necessarily knowing that they are! This is unacceptable guys. It is unacceptable! Huggable Hipster and I are calling them out and exposing them for what they are. Thievery under any other name is still thievery. It is wrong and should not be an action taken by people. Benefit of the doubt, they don't realize that what they are doing is hurting we youtubers. Unfortunately, some of them likely know what they are doing and are doing it intentionally, but I really hope not. D:

 **mia78:** (46) Indeed! I certainly agree! (47) Yeah. Thanks! I'm glad you liked it!

 **Guest:** Thank you!

 **About** this scene... Vilkas and my Dovahkiin have a chat about childhood.

 **# 048 - Childhood**

 _I packed some snow together, making a face when it kept falling apart on me. I glanced at my brother, who didn't seem to be having the same problem as me. I made another face and ten kept trying to pack the snow. Eventually I managed to get a fox figure out of the snow as I was trying to do. Before I could mention my success, though, the muzzle fell off. I sighed heavily._

 _My brother, perhaps seeing how frustrated I was, threw a snowball and hit the back of my head. I turned to glare at him, scooping up a bit of snow and packing it together enough to throw a snowball back at him. Before long, we were chasing each other around the yard, throwing snowballs back and forth._

"That's one of my more pleasant childhood memories," I said, toying with my hair a bit as I relaxed, laying with my head on Vilkas's lap.

"Your childhood sounds so normal," Vilkas said, expression saying he was a bit surprised.

"And that is surprising? I may be Dragonborn, but I'm only human," I said, chuckling. "Did you expect me to have this crazy, weird, completely abnormal childhood?"

"It's just strange to think that someone like you was once completely normal like the rest of us," Vilkas admitted.

I chuckled. "We all start somewhere, Vilkas," I said.

"That's true," he said, petting my hair back out of my face.

I smiled, closing my eyes as I sighed in contentment. This was a nice break and good to relax like this before going off to face Alduin.


	49. Topic 49: Upside Down

**A/N:** I am terribly sorry I haven't been consistent about updating this story lately! I've had a lot of computer problems ever since I called out those stinkin' video thieves! I don't think it is related, however, as I have had problems with the chromebook I was using since day one. Somehow, the operating system disappeared from the hard drive...and there was no way of recovering it without a backup of the OS...which I didn't have because I never backup the operating system...the other option was to copy the OS from another computer with the Chrome OS on it...which I didn't have. So...I had to replace it. Luckily, comparatively speaking, chromebooks are cheaper than your average laptop, so it wasn't out of the realm of possibility. If this had happened to my desktop, I'd be out of the youtube scene until further notice, but luckily that computer is fine. And maybe I can get the other chromebook working again for use now. I did get a different model, though, as the model I had apparently commonly has similar problems to the ones I was having. Which sucks, cause I usually don't have any problems with Samsung stuff...I went with HP this time, we'll see how it goes and how long the hardware lasts. My only other option at the store was an Acer, which has a history of fragile hardware.

Aside from that, I'm just all out of whack with my schedule for things, so I can't blame it all on the computer problems...after all I still had my desktop, which I could've bore the heat of the day in order to use. I've been...off kilter for a couple weeks now. I'm trying to find a solution that will help me get in order while I continue to wait for school to start. Tomorrow I need to go see if I can get my driver's license switched over yet and start the process of getting my residency back from living out of state for so long. After that...I need to put myself of a schedule for each day. Hopefully putting structure back into my life will help things.

 **Manu:** I'm glad you are still enjoying this story! :) Thank you! Also, the video thing seems to be not going anywhere. -_-'' So far anyways..

 **mia78:** Thank you so much! :3

 **Aria:** XD Thanks!

 **Guest:** Glad you are enjoying it so far!

 **Lydia:** Thanks! Yeah, everyone seems to be waiting for that. ;) It'll happen!

 **Nina:** Thanks!

Thank you all for reading, enjoying and reviewing! :D

 **About** this scene...This takes place a few weeks after the topic Drive, with the conversation between my Dovahkin and Naomi. In this one, they are searching out an artifact that is supposed to help Naomi get home. Shortly into the dungeon, Naomi is puzzling over a message left by an adventurer who went after this artifact before. A not-so helpful message, it is.

 **# 049 - Upside Down**

"What does it say?" Naomi asked as she stared at the writing on the cave wall someone had written.

I glanced over at it from where I was studying the map we had been given to find the artifact that would get Naomi home. She had decided after around a week of discussion that she wanted to find a way home. About a day after she decided that, she had a run-in with Q and made some kind of deal with him that involved finding a specific artifact for the man. I wasn't too happy with him for it, I was really agitated by the reality hopping idiot always messing with people's lives. But at least this time he was interfering to help someone fix theirs.

"It's upside down," I said, shaking my head.

"Upside down? Who would write a message upside down?" Naomi asked.

My eyes traveled around the wall, until stopping several feet above her head. A rope was hanging from a tunnel support overhead. A skeletal leg was dangling from the rope. Narrowing my eyes, I moved over and kicked at the dirt below, locating another piece of a skeleton.

"Someone who is upside down," I replied as Naomi tilted her head at the words.

She ultimately did a handstand to read it properly. "Beware of traps," she read.

"Duly noted," I said, returning my attention to the map. "Come on, let's go. The faster we get this done, the faster you get home and never have to deal with Q again."

"Right," Naomi agreed.


End file.
